[Shaly78]

It is now 2015, I think I have understanding, but not truly. This has opened up something new for me if I'm looking at it with the correct angle. I've done a lot of research, all the time research isn't helpful if you don't have the experiences to apply to your system. Basically it is just a bunch of data, am I correct? There maybe some things that seem like they are familiar but not really EVERYTHING. I've read several article from the link below

www.discussingdissociation.com/2009/08/02/20-types-of-dissociative-splits/

Kathy Broad LCSW

I have yet to find anyone that as she described 'introjects' created from external people. My system is full of that some fragments and some full distinct alters. It is like 'introjects' created from external people then their are sub categories those that are parents, inner self helpers, and parts with specific skills and talents etc.

Number #12 article goes on to discuss internalizing parts of external person believing you are that person instead of replication. I would say more of a replication of that person their traits and stuff like that. By no means do I know what people are doing the external ones. Anyway, this discovery of knowledge has me a feeling inferior to other multiples. First of all I can't find anyone that describe their system in this way. I feel really ashamed because I can't control the switching which makes me fear being certain way around family. Then I don't want to switch to media, high school or old work people etc. Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way. My system is poly meaning I'm having upwards of 100 alters. I choose to only really say 15 alter because of what I do in my life only about 15 alters get to see time in the body routinely. Can anyone relate in this way? I'm not for the shaming or any other embarrassment just because you ain't the same way or anything like that. I even had an idea to rename everyone to avoid this unneeded attention. I have a few not from external people, only a few. Like this family member sounds like himself/herself, this rapper sounds like himself in the inner world and when occupying the body. Also the traits with which they use they body also is just like them they taking over and calling themselves up from the inside. I even had to go back and watch because I was like that isn't how she holds her body now. I suggest yall change too.

For example, I live a huge city close to NYC so there is always discussion about media what is happening in the music industry stuff like that. If I'm out of my home daily I always run into an awkward word that someone will say in a general conversation about a person in the media. I'm always in fear because I'm not sure if it will make me switch, because like I said a lot of those ones are in my system. This explains somewhat what happened with media outlets. I just recently put post in psychosis/schizophrenia forum. I never asked, we gave no authorization to be put under this treatment plan.

I plan to return to the original source via phone and I'm talking this time instead of hanging up because I need some answers today.

[amandalouise]

from your post...
My system is poly meaning I'm having upwards of 100 alters. I choose to only really say 15 alter because of what I do in my life only about 15 alters get to see time in the body routinely. Can anyone relate in this way?

answer...yes I had introjects as part of my internal system...here in america we do not have a ....diagnosis label.... called poly fragmented like other countries may have so my own treatment providers though I had many alters, too many to count and too many to actually know existed other than sporadic clues. we also did not use the term poly or poly fragmented to describe my internal system. some people call their internal system the secret garden others I know call their system the castle/castled, clan, broken, and yes I have heard some people describe their internal system as fragmented or poly fragmented. for me we referred to my internal system as skeleton keyed. this kind of key has many parts to it and sometimes looks like a broken key with sharp edges, dull edges, ....basically fit how my brain thinks and processes and what having DID reminded me of.

you stated you cant find anyone who describes their system the way you do yours... that may be because not everyone with DID does research so they dont know all the technical terms of days gone by (poly fragmented is very rarely used term now here in the USA since its no longer a diagnostic label and hasnt been for decades here in the USA and the newer diagnostics put in use in 2013 here in america also does not use this term therefore those being newly diagnosed are not going to be using this term either)

my suggestion is dont worry that you cant find anyone who describes their system with the same way you do, instead understand that each persons internal system is comprised differently and the way it is for them. so you call your system poly and you understand why thats the most important part of this..it works for you and your system.

the unstable switching well cant help you there, thats just part of having DID but I can tell you working with my treatment providers I was able to learn tools like grounding, breathing that enabled me to dissociate (your term switch) less often.

Yes, I'm like you in the number of alters and say 30 or so named ones and counting only to say we have no main....we have more a theme that we adhere to to stay hidden. I do get your system as I'm always switching to do the next thing. I asked this question earlier....I was fascinated by the behavior of another girl while in the psych hospital trying to figure her out intently and we would walk the halls staying in shape. One day I started walking like her, moving like her, "feeling" like her...I quickly put an end to that one by pulling back. Someone said it was an introject, and I create these in those I deem admirable or interesting. Being co-con...I knew I wasn't the person even though I was feeling like I was, like feeling that I was Napoleon or Beyoncé, but I knew that I wasn't.

I can't fully relate ---- but Im pretty sure a bit of me is based on Adam Ant Also, one of the little ones looks like a child I knew for, like, three days.

[Shaly78]

Full co consciousness it takes a while to achieve that.....What is wrong with being those persons Napoleon or Beyonce? She not a mega millionaire but she talks and sings does interviews dance so that has been replication of her personality, she sounds like herself sings her body mannerisms ...She is one of my others...What would u do change her name? Adhere to the connections the system has so that when the host cant handle somethinh my others canbe there, no the host doesnt have total amnesia when some of my others are out.

Nothing's wrong, just trying to get real here...problem is, I don't know what's real. I sure can use her $$$!

Ya, I have memory problems big time...but are totally aware...and we have a theme to publicly live by.

Get well

[Shaly78]

Woah, how u know...I had changed her name to 'Ya' a while back, gotta change again I guess....Do u know me Alwayschanging? Real what Tamar viewing television habits? I've had several abusers, the system has. Are you Ebony Williams Alwayschanging?

Originally Posted by newday7121

Woah, how u know...I had changed her name to 'Ya' a while back, gotta change again I guess....Do u know me Alwayschanging? Real what Tamar viewing television habits? I've had several abusers, the system has. Are you Ebony Williams Alwayschanging?

I'm sorry sweety..I'm so like no where near where ever you are at...but like I said...I kinda think we are alike...bless you. I'm sorry that you are like me...et visa versa.

Hoping you peace! Luv

This hurts....I hate all of our lives....WHYYY?

Be strong because we we're chosen to endure this... Somebody has to...and we were chosen as much as we hate it...and I loathe it.