[mugwort2]

I remember when I was 13 I held a jagged piece of a ceramic bowl Next thing I knew I saw blood coming from my wrist. If this is relevant I was very distraught because of my emotionally abusive mother. don't recall what happened in between those moments. Through the decades I've seen cuts mostly on my lower arms and upper thighs. They range from two inches to half an inch I suppose its certainly possible I could of bumped into furniture with sharp corners or some other non cutting explanation. Can any member here tell how possible it could be I could dissociate and not be remembering cutting myself. I am not certain my question is unanswerable I hope so.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by mugwort2

I remember when I was 13 I held a jagged piece of a ceramic bowl Next thing I knew I saw blood coming from my wrist. If this is relevant I was very distraught because of my emotionally abusive mother. don't recall what happened in between those moments. Through the decades I've seen cuts mostly on my lower arms and upper thighs. They range from two inches to half an inch I suppose its certainly possible I could of bumped into furniture with sharp corners or some other non cutting explanation. Can any member here tell how possible it could be I could dissociate and not be remembering cutting myself. I am not certain my question is unanswerable I hope so.

short version when a person self injures their brain causes endorphin's to be released. endorphin's cause a person to have dissociative like symptoms (light headed ness, foggy\spaced out, disconnectedness from the situation and sometimes memory problems)

here in america this (before may 2013) used to be called a dissociative and self injury problem but since 2013 and the creation of a new mental disorder called Non Suicidal Self Injury Disorder this problem you posted about many times is no longer categorized with dissociative problems in america.

now the only way self injuring is not called Non Suicidal Self Injury is if the person is having delusions\hallucinations (psychosis\schizophrenic and other psychotic containing disorders) or if the problem is a result of drugs and alcohol.

or if you have been previously diagnosed with another mental or physical health problem that better explains the problem...

my suggestion is if this continues to bother you to contact your treatment providers. they will explain to you why self injury now has its own mental disorder and how you fit in with it or whether this problem is part of your already existing mental or physical health problems or if you are having delusions and hallucinations during self injuring (which would rule out NSSI and in psychotic disorders) and get you treated so that this does not continue to happen.

[mugwort2]

Hi Amandalouise: First thanks. Your reply was helpful and most informative. I kind of knew about endorphins being released A couple weeks ago I accidentally nipped my hand with a sharp knife. I was trying to cut the plastic wrapping off a package of ice cream. Grrr the way so many packages are tamper resistant you need a Phd to figure out how to open them. OTOH realize its for our safety. I was going through a very rough day emotionally and when I nicked myself my emotional pain left. Don't want to go into what happened earlier except when I was at the supermarket a favorite song of my ex boyfriend was on the loudspeaker. It was very traumatic. I see in 2013 dissociative and self injury disorder is named called non suicidal self injury, Both are mouthfuls. . I don't recall ever experiencing delusions,etc My dxes are OCD ADD Bipolar, PTSD. Tourettes for the record but that's neurological. My other diagnosises are concurrent mental disorders based on my TS and my PTSD. BTW I was born in the US and I still live there.

Hi mugwort, you have totally no idea where these cuts are coming from?

[mugwort2]

I don't know precisely. I mean some thoughts, possibilities but no certainty. I mean for example the cut on my right upper calf. I don't recall cutting myself. Several pdocs in the past suspected DID for me but I never found out if I am.

Oh, okay. For the most part, incidental cuts from accidents tend to stick in my mind even though I do have a few that appear out of nowhere. Anything that appears to be intentional patterned cuttings would be more of a concern.

It sounds like something to bring up with your T. Good luck!

[mugwort2]

AC thanks for your helpful reply. "Intentional patterned cutting" Most cuts are on lower half of my right arm. I am left handed, a southpaw if that makes any difference.

[Shaly78]

There is memory issue in ptsd and dissociation...I think you need to research the two to read how memory issue and what trauma does to the brain the reason you have ptsd and dissociation symptoms....It's explainable, just depends on how much in the know you need to be, the research can be done and found...Everyone doesn't get ptsd or dissociation...I'm making that declaration cause everybody is hung upon telling me about everybody these days!...Sorry if other Dissociative Identity Disorder folks are hurt by that....It makes me think they in my business and want a name for us basically something they wasn't privy too .

I was hoping to see if you would clarify the marks as intentional or random just for your benefit. The brain is self-protecting to keeping secrets from ourselves. It does this to protect us, for we live in the conscious part.

Like newday says, not everyone is prone to dissociation, but when it comes to trauma, memories are very affected....to protect the conscious.

I've found that if there is some matter of concern over something, then it should be professionally addressed for better depth evaluation.