[TryingToMoveForward]

I have PTSD with dissociative features. I'm still trying to figure out what that means.

But I do have a question. When I RP, its like a part of me really becomes that character. I think like them....think in their voice, not my own. I start to dress like them, pick up their hobbies, get my hair cut like them. It's like I am them, and yet I'm not because I am still attached to who I am...though I lack a stable identity anyway.

Is that the same as dissociating? It's not like an alter coming in and taking over, but its like I share head space. Maybe this is more infatuation. I'm trying to determine what it is. I just know that I've been rping since I was a child, to be someone else, somewhere else, doing something else. I didn't want to be who I was and where I was.

[finding_my_way]

personally, i don't feel that is the same because dissociation is not role playing and choosing to take on the characteristics of someone else. dissociation is a type of disconnect from the self/body/world around you, etc. and is generally triggered from either becoming overwhelmed, a trauma, etc. and not really related to role playing and willingly becoming someone else.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by TryingToMoveForward

I have PTSD with dissociative features. I'm still trying to figure out what that means.

But I do have a question. When I RP, its like a part of me really becomes that character. I think like them....think in their voice, not my own. I start to dress like them, pick up their hobbies, get my hair cut like them. It's like I am them, and yet I'm not because I am still attached to who I am...though I lack a stable identity anyway.

Is that the same as dissociating? It's not like an alter coming in and taking over, but its like I share head space. Maybe this is more infatuation. I'm trying to determine what it is. I just know that I've been rping since I was a child, to be someone else, somewhere else, doing something else. I didn't want to be who I was and where I was.

the PTSD with dissociative features means PTSD now has dissociative "specifiers" that treatment providers must look at when diagnosing someone with PTSD now. the dissociative specifiers with PTSD are depersonalization and derealization. you can read about those in the link at the bottom of my post.

It sounds like it means that you dissociate when triggered back to the trauma, like a war vet who tries to watch a war movie, but ends up dazed, foggy minded, entranced, triggered from watching a battle scene.

I can see where you are getting at on the RP thing. Sometimes when things happen to us that we can't explain, we attempt to describe it by only what we know, like you called it role playing, some others might call it acting, others possession, and so on. What you are a actually going through though, I couldn't tell you, that would be a therapists job.

When actors act, their characters become their alter ego- a second identity (be it just for a short while), which isn't the same as having alters- like Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta....a.k.a. Lady Gaga.

When role playing, it is intentional (to act) to be the alter ego which one molds and creates, whereas having a dissociative alter present, their personal traits and preferences bleeds through without any input from the host.

Of course, acting like an other character can become natural- that's why they are called good actors. What you are describing I have no clue, only you can say.

Alters usually step in when the host dissociates due to a trigger to carry on being actively participating in their own special brand. Other times they can influence the host in a many other ways, like feelings of emotions that are overbearing, unusual, unfounded,...thoughts that are contrary to the line of thinking,...

They can also blend where their characteristics manifests just like how you described which is my cause for wonder. Not everybody dissociates, some are prone too.

So, if you are role playing, then you are just doing that like you said. It looks to like you've been doing it for so long that it's become natural, idk.

All this would have to be discussed and explored by you and your therapist, and I hope this helps some, just my two cents.

[TryingToMoveForward]

The thing is, it doesn't end when I finish roleplaying. It really is like acting, and taking on an alter ego, I like that, maybe that makes more sense. When I'm not roleplaying I still feel like that character, and think like them. I wasn't sure if this was similar to an alter. I knew it wasn't the same thing because I have friends with DID, and I have interacted with their alters. I was just wondering if it was similar. I do have borderline personality disorder and people with that disorder lack an identity, so maybe it was just me adopting someone else's identity because my own was absent. I'll talk it over with my therapist.

After reading about depersonalization and derealization....yes, yes I do both. Not everyday, I don't think. But I remember occasions where I've done that. Sometimes even at work. No one sat down and explained these things to me when they told me I have dissociative features. In fact the psychologist just gave me the results and said to call him if I have questions. I've been educating myself, but I've got a list of diagnoses, as you can see, and I've been hitting them one at a time.

Thanks for the help and information.

[Gr3tta]

Hi everyone! So much going on! Some good some bad.
Really trying to focus on the good.