The word "I"

I was just sitting here writing an email to a possible new "T" when it dawned on me just how much we hate the word "I".

I equals some but not all.

It draws unwanted attention to ourselves- putting us in the spot light.

It's like proclaiming ourselves to the world for recognition- we really don't like being noticed.

It makes us feel like liars, like taking claim for an others accomplishments or failures and then reaping the unwarranted consequences.

It's embarrassing when having to take claim for an others "I'd never do" actions.

It is hollow feeling/sounding, like looking back into a shell of a person with the word echo/fading into the darkness.

It's really icky feeling.

It sets us up for failure when we promise to do something but can't or we forget.

It causes us to crazy switch trying to find the appropriate other.

It causes great anxiety to panic attacks.

It causes us to stutter- "I...I...I..."

It causes us to dissociate- to a staring daze with crossed vision and wide eyes.

It draws attention to the fact that the body is all wrong.

It makes us hesitate, checking ourselves, a very noticeable action.

It makes us feel humanly/mentally defective.

It leaves us speechless.

It makes us self-conscience.

It brings on waves of self-hate.

It brings on a round of "Who dunnit?"

It makes us look and feel stupid when memory fails us.

I word "I" sux.

Thanks for sharing your insight, AlwaysChanging2! When I was young, I always wanted to stand out... to be different... to be noticed... I always dressed in ways that I felt, made me stand out, & tried to speak in ways that I thought would make me seem "special". However, as I have gotten older, I no longer want to stand out. In fact, I do everything in my power to just blend into the crowd... well... actually... I avoid crowds at all cost! But if I were to be in a crowd, I'd want to be completely anonymous.

There are allot of "I's" in sentences written above. Which is probably an indication of how difficult it is to get away from the word. But, that's okay... the word itself doesn't bother me... as long as the person that is me can stay in the shadows...

for me using anything but the word I would draw attention....

example....

me.....we are going to go play on the swings.

teacher, parents, friends, therapists, doctors.... what do you mean by we, who is we, who are you going to go play on the swings with, sorry unless I know who you are going to be with you can not go play on the swings....

the end result even though I had some co consciousness with others I learned very quickly as a young child to use first person (I, me, mine) words when talking with anyone.

as for my alters when they were in control they too used first person wording. each of my alters had their own way of being, their own jobs, purposes, reasons for being, there to them everything was in the first person (I, me, mine, Im)

I did fall into using the terms designating more than one (ours, we, both of us, us,....) during the merging\becoming one whole person again part of the integration process. towards the end of the integration process some of my alters would want to be recognized as part of me\combined with me. I would start to say first person words (I, me, mine, Im and I would hear a voice saying no its we, Im here too, then I would say the inclusive wording we, our, us simply to acknowledge that voices existence that they are becoming one with me again.

After integration I went back to using first person phrasing because everything the alters were became me, one whole person again.

when i am feeling more like just 'me,' it's easier to use 'i.' i've rarely let 'we' slip out loud and said it more in ways that could have fit to mean 'anyone.' personally isn't an issue for me. it's more used in my head though when talking/deciding things, etc. and a variety of things depending.

when one of you is there maybe a bit stronger than another (if that happens), do you not use 'i'?

how do you differentiate between each other if you don't use 'i'?

i think if i used 'we' more when i feel blended, it would confuse me more because i still have separation between them and i (well, unless blended or feeling one stronger). but when blended, no one knows who they are, so it's a way for me to remind myself of who i am even though they still exist too. it doesn't take away from them still existing.

Parts of me aren't sure that there is an "I".

Ya. Saying it to the world is so everything above, pretending to be a single, pretending to be someone ur not.

We all have "I"'s, but as the collective focal image....

I agree. We have a tough time saying I.
Even as a cnild, we always said "we."
My father would always tease, "we? You got a mouse in your pocket?"

Me 2' I don't use pluralism local. Everytime I say that word though, I have a bad reaction on the whole, except on here because it's different.