[Mookster]

I saw one t today, she had me meet with the centers yoga dude. She wants me to try some yoga to learn to ground myself a little more... Probably so she can get some info out of me in sessions... Seems like there's too much switching lately... I don't remember ever being this bad, tho at the same time, I've never let anyone know about it either.... For the first time they've got someone to talk to.. I think they are still a little shy tho loving it.. Finally someone to listen to them..

Tho have you had any success with this? Right now I'm desperate for anything to work..

Wow, that makes sense. I can't sit still long enough to yoga. Ya therapy made me a switch and dissociate really bad because I was exposing nerves.

I hated it.

I love to do yoga. However, my brain is always so loud and busy that i cannot concentrate and focus like one is supposed to.

I used to love Yoga, and sporadically over the years used to practice it. I love the way it makes me feel, and I am more relaxed afterwards. But its so hit or miss - If I go to classes there are so many issues that can come up, it became a bit of an ordeal going. And similarly at home, if I was practising in front of the TV, a whole bunch of different issues could come up. Now I haven't practised for a couple of years. Since starting T Ive been trying to work out why I don't ever do something which can feel so good. I think its a mixture of feeling like I don't deserve to feel good, and I don't like my attention being drawn to my body.

[Mookster]

Yeah, I'm afraid of the issues it might bring up, I've... Well not me, my t has already warned him about touching... Which will bring up the angry one in a flash... Rewords that after getting yelled at.. Will bring up Quinn in a flash.. Which I'm afraid won't be good... Plus being in a room alone with a man is going to bring up so many issues.... Especially with him telling me what to do.. Tho right now if we don't find a way to ground me some... We are heading to a place I never want to be in...

How long did it take for you to see any difference... She said it might take 6 months to a year to see improvement... Not sure exactly what she meant by that... Tho I don't think I've got 6 months in me right now.. Which is scary... Tho I'm willing to try this, I need something to help..

You know, that brings up a good point....I need to see my pdoc for some buspar for anxiety. I used to take it, but I hated how it felt. But when I left that Ts office that day, I sure could of been using them.

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[Mookster]

They have me... Well... They gave me Ativan to help with anxiety, tho I'm so med phobic I can't take it.. Besides even if I did want to, someone keeps hiding it on me...