Are you as crazy as you think? I know I am! But nobody knows because most get to see the one they get to see, or assigned to them, or whatever, like the workers are the main for the work thing, friends get the friend main...and we do swap during them times, but when you put on the same body, nobody notices! Ever notice getting a weird "I can't believe..." look? Guilty!

Except here at the house, our 'free to be me zone'....the kid notices but forgets and we end up having them awkward moments of 'but you said....', and the partner is straight up in denial! Lol.

But whatever. I hate it when I'm called a liar over something that I don't know I lied about. It's frustrating because I don't lie...I'm just in "conflict". I conflict with myself. I'm conflicted. I'm a conflicter. I'm a conflictee. Conflict.

Even though we try to maintain a "good attitude" over MI.....it does suck. But our new attitude has been "screw you, now you have to deal with me!" The bipolar aspect has taught me that....deal with it people. Watching my "P's" and "Q's" have gotten old.

After a lifetime of being crapped on, "kizz my azz" has been the new motto. We are now 48....the first 18 years of abuse was forced on us, and the next 18 we allowed to happen. Not no more....let our crazy shine! Because we just don't care anymore. We've had enough....no more hiding inside ourself. We are who we are, we can't help that one bit....we were made this way. But we are doing better, don't get me wrong.

So what if we come across as "weird" or "strange"? We've been labeled and regarded as that all our life! At least this way we don't beat ourselves up over it.

Sick and tired of being sick and tired of hiding. Sure we regroup for public...we just don't advertise it. In a gentler way of expressing all this, we now try to be more relaxed of us, not fearful of discovery, fretting over every gesture...smile...step..., so self-conscious that I can puke a heart attack.

So, K.M.A. life.

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Great post Lolled a lot, agreed even more!