In daily living, I've always felt like something is missing, like a part of me that everyone alive enjoys is dark, turned off....the ability to feel sometimes or put a past experience together in the present to make a more complete picture...some part of me is missing, hidden, unaccessible.

Do you all every feel that way? That something is missing from the complete picture of you? Can you feel it? Sense it? But can quite put a finger on it?

I feel like that incomplete picture puzzle, the one with 1-2 missing pieces that are simply gone.

I've always felt that way and still do...at least I think I know why now....but could be wrong.

[scar12346]

Oh we know that feeling.
Since the original one (the one born with the body) is gone we feel like that almost every day. You kinda get used to it. It's bad that we have no clue what happened when she was out and doing stuff but that is why we have pictures of her childhood and some memories that are just ours. So we can clearly remember going on stage and dancing or acting but I have no clue what it was the rest of the time.
It might be a part that went silent. That part might come back, or may not. Sending you happiness!

It just makes me upset (angry, sad, disillusioned, a mix)....like a dark cloud blocking the light of whatever making me feel like an incomplete person. Sometimes I see it as a retaining wall, blocking access to something that I feel I know or am. I want to cry.

[scar12346]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

It just makes me upset (angry, sad, disillusioned, a mix)....like a dark cloud blocking the light of whatever making me feel like an incomplete person. Sometimes I see it as a retaining wall, blocking access to something that I feel I know or am. I want to cry.

Vladimir for little:
Aww mama Scar has always said that even that we don't remember who we are, where we came from and what we did, everything is okay. It doesn't matter that we don't remember those parts we just need to build a future on it.
-Annie

Believe me, as hard as it sounds building your new future will ground up your past. It was hard, especially for me, to get over the fact and feel that half of our life is missing, but I focused on the parts that are here. I focused on their future. I best know the feeling of emptiness that is missing one of your parts, there's no way around it. The only thing you have now towards that missing part is hoping that he/she/they will come back, while doing so you must stay strong and give time to your other parts. I don't know if your system has roles like ours and if I am talking with another system manager, but you are not alone on this one. Our system has a hole and I am sure that other's have holes in them as well. Just a nasty thing that comes with DID. If you need help you can contact us. Hang in there strong friend hugs from us !
-Evee