So.. everybody's system is different.

I am mainly writing this for the newly diagnosed, be it self-diagnose like us, or an actual diagnosis. We were confused and couldn't stop doubting each other if we are indeed DID.. And the main reason for that is that we were looking at other people's systems. And they were completely different. The other reason was because other singular people were calling us out and calling Scar fake, for which he is definitely not otherwise I wouldn't be writing right now.
Do not doubt yourselves. You know you the best. And if you know that you means 2+ other people, than let it be!
Yes, systems are different. There can't be two same systems because the body has went through different things in life. We don't know what happened to us because the original memories are gone with the core. We work in a team and manage everything to the best. We don't struggle with time loss, we don't hate each other (leaving Noah out on this one cus he is a ****) and me, Waidth and Scar are all three hosts. Scar is dating Carolinae (which is another alter) and Waidth and Evee are siblings. Noah is my twin, and we have no communication with each other. We all have visuals of how we look and we all have different voices in our head but not in the world.
So if you didn't know it: Systems vary as the person does. There aren't same people and there wouldn't be same systems. There will always be doubt, but don't let it take over. Lots of hug from us, and thanks for reading
-Vladimir

i have definitely doubted myself a lot over the years. i have had others doubt me as well saying that everyone has other parts to them, ego states, etc. and while i agree with that, not everyone experiences them as separate with different names, ages, genders, characteristics, voices, etc.

i still have times i just think i think too much or times i don't know whether i'm just talking to myself/answering myself back or not, moreso during times of increased stress where i may be dissociating more..but even how the dissociation works at any given time is different which can cause me to experience the others in many different ways, subtle where we blend together and can't tell who is who or things get very disorienting/fuzzy, etc. with dissociation and things internally get very strange which affect things externally as well. i guess with so many variations, that is partly what confused me too, also losing communication with the others over the years as they were not needed as much anymore. but i know they are real and there because even so many years later, things remain consistent in how things feel related to certain ones, though some things have changed too which add doubt at times.

there has rarely, to my knowledge, been total take overs by others in my lifetime. it's always been a type of blending, though the memories i have when dissociating disappears too for the most part.

but overall, i know it is real because i live it. it's not something that can be explained easily just by the DSM or just by a professional explaining the DDNOS/DID spectrum because of the variations. but it's still very hidden for me. i keep it from those in my immediate life because they would never understand. so, i am very private about it and have a hard time even talking to my psychiatrist about it which makes it more difficult in trying to sort some things out. i feel like at times though, that is what the system needs too, to stay hidden/quiet because of what 'could' happen...either i might get lost among them all again or well...i don't know...

yes each persons ...internal system of alters .... is different, in that it is how ever each system needed to be in order to survive, and along with this here in america we have uniform diagnostic criteria for each of the mental disorders that american treatment providers treat. what that means is before a treatment provider can call someone DID that person and their system must meet special guidelines called diagnostic criteria.

here in america its kind of like when you go to the doctor with a sore arm, the doctor can not call that sore a broken bone unless it meets special guidelines.

just the way american treatment providers are, most that I know dont like to jump to conclusions and err on the side of caution when diagnosing mental disorders in general, there are many different mental, medical and normal problems here in america that share the same symptoms so to make it easier america has uniform guidelines called the DSM 5 that says what each mental disorder is and what each mental disorders individualized diagnostics are.

my internal system was different than yours but because I met the diagnostic criteria my treatment providers said I had DID.

How true!

Fmw- ".... i have had others doubt me as well saying that everyone has other parts to them, ego states, etc. and while i agree with that, not everyone experiences them as separate with different names, ages, genders"

Us too! I've heard the same, just like "everyone has mood changes" when it comes to bipolar- nobody gets it nor do I expect them too, but yet to still be judged out of their ignorance. Whatever.

A broken arm is a broken arm, even before seeing a doctor....but it takes a doctor to initiate quality treatment, so see a knowledgable doctor.

We knew that we were always different- and was told so a multiple number of times by other people in sayings like "people like you..." Or "you are different..."... Or you get "the look" or the stare...

It sounds like you are having a tough go at it now. I'm sorry...people suck.

I haven't been officially branded, but I've spent a lifetime with self-imposed system wide blinders on in active self-denial, which means I knew 32 years ago. Since it was such a new thing then, it was easy to ignore and to go on in our daily business like we always had up to that point- we had teen issues to deal with that were more of a problem then this. Now that I look back, if I didn't have this, I wouldn't be having the teen problems that I was having. DOH!

The moment someone said the words (my spouse did because she just started watching 'United States of Tara' on Netflix in her room) "multiple personality"...a bunch of others in our system jumped out stating "That's what we have!" emphatically in an alcohol induced fervor. It was like a coiled spring finally sprung after all these years, let the crazee erupt! Lol.

That was a year ago. Our life now makes sense, the why we did what we did when we did what we did is clear. Now we wish that that has never happened, but the elephant is hard to ignore. Ignorance was bliss.

Multiples go undiagnosed all the time, but the really affected ones stick out, I guess.

People can't see you for what you are because the same voice comes out of your mouth, you are wearing the same clothes, the body doesn't change all that much, sure your posture is different, some gestures are too, but people don't see that. Outwardly we are kinda the same even though inwardly we are jumping off of skyscrapers and bouncing around like a rubber ball of the sides of our head.

People expect (like in a side show kind of way) that all of sudden we speak different languages, wear our hair different, dress different, become different....we do, but they expect drastic changes like wearing dresses one day then 3 piece suits the next, speaking English then Swahili and then French. Some DID'ers do, but not this one. We wear what the body has because we know what the body looks like (regardless how much we hate it in a depressing way), though we have different tastes in colors and styles. Some of us put on some clear polish and color and some of us don't care. We just don't want to stand out and be noticed in a very publicly noticeable way. We used to be very careful to adhere to strict body rules, especially in regarding to looks following the host's lead, but we've become more laxed in them with a little more individuality since our outing.

If people could hear what's going on in this head, like hooking up a speaker to my head, we'd be seriously locked up... Even though that doesn't seem to far off at the moment! :P

suggestion talk with a treatment provider for what you call official branded. please dont go just on your spouse self diagnosing you based on a tv show. That tv show has a disclaimer on it in very little print in the credits that says the show is not meant for diagnostic purposes and is not a representative of the mental disorder. that show is written as a comedy, it adds humor, pot shots and symptoms\problems that do not actually happen with DID and dissociative disorders. Usually shows like this lead a person with any number of mental and physical health problems to think they have this or that mental disorder.

let me show you what I mean...a very dear and close friend of mine watched the show, hoping to get incite into what I was going through. well she watched the show and went into major panic and anxiety because what was happening in the show was what she was going through. for months she thought she had DID. finally she went to her treatment provider, got a referral for diagnostic testing. her problem turned out to be postpartum depression.

another person I know watched this show and was so happy because they now knew what was wrong with them...DID. but one day through a routine exam it turned out that she had epilepsy, and bipolar disorder.

Im glad that you may have discovered you have DID, someday I would love to hear you went though the diagnostic process, you are doing so well on the self diagnosis, and things you find on your own, I can just imagine what you can do with the new options available to dissociative's that you cant find except through treatment providers.

Im not trying to push getting diagnosed through a treatment provider, just dont want someone to do more harm then good accidentally to their self, the line in the sand is that sometimes self diagnosing is a hit the nail on the head but most times it can lead others to great harm, thats why I say the only way to find out with 100 % certainty what a persons mental disorder is, is by contacting a treatment provider.

Yep. Thanks for pointing that out. Self-diagnosing is harmful to ones safety and sanity. Consult a qualified professional in such matters.

As far as I am concerned...I'm just stating the lifelong obvious.

For everyone's benefit, I've several years in college psychology- no degree, just enough to know some things like basically how the brain works up through hypno-therapy. I'm a trouble shooter with a systematic scientific approach to problem solving.

Self-diagnosing is not good. The human brain can be highly suggestible to which can cause false symptoms to manifest itself as real misleading the person in to believing that which isn't true. This is even the same for physical symptoms. The mind controls the body and can cause supposed physical and mental conditions to appear. If you want something, it can make it happen.

My partner thinks I'm a nut with no clue, with a bad selective memory, that does things that are "out of character" (?), inconsistent, quirky, that I lie, moody, crazy, don't know who I'm going to be when she gets home, and that I'm not mentally ill, and that I'm faking it. Sure...why not. At least I can now quit these bipolar meds and go on to living a normal productive life, except something just seems to get in the way everyday, everytime, in every way. (Tons of sarcasm oozing at the seams).