We are all having some form of identity crisis which amounts to one huge one system wide again.

In the past we had to build a fictional character that everyone contributed to for the soul purpose of functioning in todays society.

Today however, everyone has their own agenda and idea of what we should be....we are clashing quite a bit being not on the same page.

It's scaring us because this is like uncharted territory and have no idea of which way to go with each of our traits overlapping other traits in a days progression which amounts to some bit of embarrassment to the Other it treads upon.

For instance, I (Sherri) and Susie, Bobbie like femining it up and doing things like going shopping, but then the guys bleed in on how much they abhor it, then we fight over it and then they have regrets while we are like upset that it's not right that it's a male thing and we have to be quiet....no way Hosea.

And nobody gets it.

Who lives like this???

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

We are all having some form of identity crisis which amounts to one huge one system wide again.

In the past we had to build a fictional character that everyone contributed to for the soul purpose of functioning in todays society.

Today however, everyone has their own agenda and idea of what we should be....we are clashing quite a bit being not on the same page.

It's scaring us because this is like uncharted territory and have no idea of which way to go with each of our traits overlapping other traits in a days progression which amounts to some bit of embarrassment to the Other it treads upon.

For instance, I (Sherri) and Susie, Bobbie like femining it up and doing things like going shopping, but then the guys bleed in on how much they abhor it, then we fight over it and then they have regrets while we are like upset that it's not right that it's a male thing and we have to be quiet....no way Hosea.

And nobody gets it.

Who lives like this???

Before I was integrated I didnt have this problem. each of my alters had their own sense of agency (their own jobs, purposes, reasons for being, who and what they were, ...) each alter was how ever they were when they were in control.

it was only after integration that I had a problem of how to be, what to wear, how to behave and what to do out in public. everything the alters were had become me, so for example going to work entailed many changes of clothing, looking at my schedule to try and match what was going on that day with everything else because I now had so many feelings and choices going on, it was a bit overwhelming. for a while I divided my stuff up in categories of work, sports, hanging with the family... so that I didnt have so many emotions and choices going on. over time I managed to fall into a routine where I knew what was what.

my point even though this didnt happen to me until after integration I can understand what you are going through. what helped me was including these topics in with my sessions with my treatment providers. they were very helpful on how to all these decisions on my own.

a suggestion instead of worrying about each one trying to do the same things, maybe fall back on letting each one behow ever and who ever their sense of agency is. this way there will be less stress and chaos. then later on as its supposed to happen everything will fall into place.

another suggestion if this continues to bother contact your or a treatment provider in your location who can help with this based on whats what in your own location for these kinds of things.

Our biggest factor is the male versus female Others.

Is the aware part the original??? A conscious bent and twisted every which way moment to moment, triggered, jumping gender lines and emotions and thinking patterns, a conscious held in disarray with perplexing memory problems.

Her I sit on the lunch hour at work and since I picked up this iPad on this site (triggered), I Sherri now sits in a man world open for observation being in the open. I just gotta pretend to play it cool and hope nobody watches too closely, but this is the lunch time thing to do is read everyones thoughts.

Oh well, been this confused since my pre-tweens, so whats new?

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I Sherri now sits in a man world open for observation being in the open. I just gotta pretend to play it cool and hope nobody watches too closely, but this is the lunch time thing to do is read everyones thoughts.

I think Sherri should write a funny book explaining to women, by a woman, what men are *really* like when there aren't any women around.

Well, our guys are lacking in like empathic, love and caring traits. They are total male attitude with cold, sometimes cruel, and ambitious drive. They can be arrogant, pompous, edgy, over confident, uncaring, mean, loud, jerkish, harsh, contemptish, mechanically engineeringly talented, rude, lude, and crude, beast, over bearing....but they know that they are incomplete and lacking which pisses them off. Typical guys.

They live by the attitude, 'hit me I dare you, D.Azz', but with a touch of respect and restraint...but you can see it in the eyes. Being old back world rough carpenters, they are pretty hard on jokes and language with hardly any moral restraint.

Actually, they have soften up and let us fems be more active and influential in our day to day living. They are adjusting seeing we tend to co-present and switch all day long.

We used to be just holed up and denied any out time, but things are different today because they can't cry, laugh, and love.

Actually, part of the 'identity crisis' is the introduction of our femininity in the daily life once dominated by the male ego. It's taking a bit getting used to for them because they aren't used to being regarded as "gay"...poor guys...but we are not, it only looks that way so far.

Life always change, so we are pretty much are used to things changing heading in a different life direction looking for a way to fit in society and life. I guess you can say we've almost tried it all by now.

Actually, we just defurred and did some make up and our nails. We did our eyebrows the other night and they are just dealing with it. They are taking it in stride and actually being non-resistant. They are drones and are wanting to just perform their job and want a break from trying to be the face of this system. It does get old trying to pretend to be something without all the tools. They can't even laugh at a joke, so they are tired of trying to be human.

After all, we are mostly fem and they are like a smoke screen to appear male normal...they get that.

We've often discussed all this and have all voted and agreed on the present direction in our system life. It's just taking a little getting used too.

This is a very big thing for us. We other luv it or hate it depending on our p.o.v., but it virberates through our inner world as a canker to the one feeling it.

Being one way or another causes strife, an endless internal conflict of mental squawk.

Nobody can live like this...so why do we?

Too many opinions over why we can or can't do something. What is peace?

The girls want to appear "transitioning" but the guys totally say ******** and want to be WWF rockstars.

So it's an endless internal battle!

Who decides that "this is us"? We all seem to do....but too many are scared of the actual visual observable effect.

I, the system, is a glass jar lacking color, purpose, and identity. The Others are the color, personality, and identity when they fill the glass jar- the jar is now theirs.

But often more then not, they swirl against each other in the same jar which causes confusion and conflict within, so now we are a mish mash of Ids clashing against each Other. Even fears from the lessers inner twine in the menage.

We only pray or wish for relief at any cost if allowed. Period.

Alcohol okay, endless sleep better but denied.

Somebody tell me that there is a pill to fix all this. I've done every drug under the sun licit or illicit to fix this.....except the red one.