[delicate grass]

I am not sure if I what I keep experiencing fall within the bounds of dissociative behaviour but it feels close enough. So the past 10 years I had to travel a lot for studies, work etc and I lived in 5 different countries. The problem started appearing when I met my first partner in UK and especially when we visited my home country in the summer. When I landed back I felt no connection to him whatsoever, as if he was unreal. And my feelings changed completely towards him. When we went back to the UK I was back to 'normal'. I thought it was a-one-time thing but after this experience I had a few episodes, panic attach of feeling I am dreaming in real life but for a year it stopped. Then a couple of year later, same thing happened with another partner; we met in AUS we were so in love, she visited me in UK and I was completely devoid of any feeling for her. Then I went back to AUS just to break up with her and I felt I loved her but this weird association with places made me feel I was crazy. Has anyone hear of a condition that resembles that? It didn't just happen with partners but also with friends and even family.

[Luce]

I haven't really heard of a 'condition' that resembles that, but have had some similar - but not exactly the same experiences, I guess. We (a DID system) have also lived in different cities / countries, and had particular groups of alters be dominant in each geographical location. This caused problems when people that interacted primarily with one group of dominant alters visited us in a different location and encountered a different group of alters. It was a problem for the group of that location that didn't know / struggled to interact with the visitors and equally problematic for the group of alters who knew the visitors to come out and interact with them in a foreign (to them) location. It was like a big ole clash of experiences, knowledge and awareness and it was always stressful and destabilizing.

I can see how something along these lines could happen even without DID... for instance if in one location where you know few people but form a strong attachment to a person there that brings out a particular side of you... and then you go back to your original location where you have a strongly established 'way of being' and other relationships that bring out 'more' of you... then that relationship from the other location might feel less connected or less important because you are in touch with 'more' of you again.
But then back in your new location you are no longer calling on the other parts of you so are more content and satisfied with the relationship again.
I don't know if you can follow that or not!

[delicate grass]

Originally Posted by Luce

I haven't really heard of a 'condition' that resembles that, but have had some similar - but not exactly the same experiences, I guess. We (a DID system) have also lived in different cities / countries, and had particular groups of alters be dominant in each geographical location. This caused problems when people that interacted primarily with one group of dominant alters visited us in a different location and encountered a different group of alters. It was a problem for the group of that location that didn't know / struggled to interact with the visitors and equally problematic for the group of alters who knew the visitors to come out and interact with them in a foreign (to them) location.

I can see how something along these lines could happen even without DID... for instance if in one location where you know few people but form a strong attachment to a person there that brings out a particular side of you... and then you go back to your original location where you have a strongly established 'way of being' and other relationships that bring out 'more' of you... then that relationship from the other location might feel less connected because 'more' of you is present again.
I don't know if you can follow that or not!

it totally makes sense, I do not feel a different person when I go to other places, but I do feel I am in a different kind of self-contained universe. And when people from different locations kind of merge into one, I get very frustrated and I feel reality disintegrates into a dream-like state

[Luce]

Originally Posted by delicate grass

it totally makes sense, I do not feel a different person when I go to other places, but I do feel I am in a different kind of self-contained universe. And when people from different locations kind of merge into one, I get very frustrated and I feel reality disintegrates into a dream-like state

I can relate to that. We feel similarly when acquaintances of two or more different alters collide (ie: them and us in the same place at the same time, regardless of location). Can. Not. Cope.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by delicate grass

I am not sure if I what I keep experiencing fall within the bounds of dissociative behaviour but it feels close enough. So the past 10 years I had to travel a lot for studies, work etc and I lived in 5 different countries. The problem started appearing when I met my first partner in UK and especially when we visited my home country in the summer. When I landed back I felt no connection to him whatsoever, as if he was unreal. And my feelings changed completely towards him. When we went back to the UK I was back to 'normal'. I thought it was a-one-time thing but after this experience I had a few episodes, panic attach of feeling I am dreaming in real life but for a year it stopped. Then a couple of year later, same thing happened with another partner; we met in AUS we were so in love, she visited me in UK and I was completely devoid of any feeling for her. Then I went back to AUS just to break up with her and I felt I loved her but this weird association with places made me feel I was crazy. Has anyone hear of a condition that resembles that? It didn't just happen with partners but also with friends and even family.

when this happens to me my treatment providers call it part of my having OCD, MS. when a friend of mine goes through this they call it AD\HD in him. another person I know who goes through these same problems when traveling they call it jet lag. in others I know its a learning disorder.

my suggestion is to find out for sure what this is with in you, contact your own treatment providers. they will be able to explain to you why you are having this problem. they can also set up diagnostic testing for all the known physical health problems that a person can have where their brain doesnt connect things in the same way when in different situations.

I don't know, to me it seems like shock: to be out of ones comfort zone. But once you are back in familiar surroundings, it all relaxes.

I go through this, always on guard like in an unfamiliar territory.

Maybe try mindfullness or yoga and just focus on your intended instead of your enviroment? Don't know....just saying. Wishes

i can't say i've heard of anything like this before.

hugs