A thing or disorder?

I hate saying disorder because it requires excuses and explanations. When I say "its nothing but a thing"...

Nobody cares.

I think I'm nothing but a thing.

I see it as a natural result of our developmental experiences. In context it is a very normal way of being. That's how I feel about it anyway.

Officially they call it a 'disorder'. I don't interpret that as an anomaly to be rectified. I interpret it as merely a difference from the norm.

It has adaptive traits I'm told. We had to do something with our experiences to survive

? Wha? I never seen this before!

Sigh

i say that about everything

aint nothin to it but to do it
aint nothin but a thing

move along... nothing to see here...

Every now and again I say 'I'm off', nuff said it slows people down and people are little more considerate with a bunch of explanation I agree with you. I'm comfortable enough in the system to express that to someone at this point in my journey. Before, I would just hide it then get myself in trouble with task or whatever.

You tell others about your condition? Anyone you meet? I can't imagine doing that. Well, I told my old friends that laughed at me, and they still laughed at me.

I'm pretty open about my past, at least what I can remember, and I'm open about my mental/physical health issues. I feel like the more I keep it to myself, the less people can learn from me. I'm not being myself, I'm hiding away for their pleasure. I don't want to associate myself with people I can't talk to about my condition. In return I've met some great friends! I've become comfortable with my unique oddities. Now to get myself healthy enough to handle my job...

Sent from my iPhone SE using Tapatalk.

I'm sorry you haven't had supportive 'friends'. I was first diagnosed with complex PTSD and my therapist explained that dissociation was a normal response to overwhelming situations and that it helped me survive. When my self-destructive and 'everything is OK' fragments started 'switching' a lot she told me I have fragments and explained that they all exist to get me through the world.

I've had other people be upfront about mental health to me, which allowed me to see therapy as helpful and not something for 'freaks'. I try to pay it forward now, but I'm specific in how I disclose. I usually describe what I experience and where it comes from, because this humanizes my experience for others.

I updated my adviser recently about my OSDD-1. I said something to the effect of: Sometimes I 'switch' between thinking X and thinking Y. Sometimes I don't just think these thoughts though but actually step into or become that mindset. It's confusing because it feels like putting on blue-tinted sunglasses and then suddenly seeing the world through rose-tinted sunglasses without actually changing glasses. I've been told this is because I have fragments, which means I'm fractured although I don't have separate distinct identities. Fragments are one way young children are able to survive and manage trauma.....

I think I like that approach, Kevin. I am 'not there yet', but I can see myself possibly being able to be more open with others about my own dissociation in the future. The more I read and learn about dissociation (causes, development, expression etc) the more I see it as 'normal' rather than something to be ashamed about. It really is just the natural consequence of trauma at a particular stage in development.

Hmm, just had an insight into my own thinking around it... for me/us perhaps the shame is more about the trauma rather than the dissociation (although the dissociation brings its own unique brand of shame as well). Certainly back when our old hosts were new to learning about the dissociation and causative trauma they felt huge shame about both. But the greatest hurdle was accepting that the trauma happened at all. You know, that old survival double bind thing.
Anyway, thanks for providing some good thinks to think on.

I think there's a lot to that! Bouncing off your post Luce:

We internalize what was done to us/feel ashamed as the primary stigma, and then we experience our natural response (dissociation) as stigma too. Both are inherently survivor-blaming, but we're so invested in it because it's what we had to do to survive.
It's not just us though! It's also the perpetrators and bystanders (who perpetrate by refusing to intervene, acknowledge, or support us). It's a normal human response to trauma. Now that we know this though I want to see trauma-informed everything! Trauma-informed schooling, trauma-informed law enforcement, trauma-informed policy....