[anais_anais]

Originally Posted by Hazelbee

Hi. I was recently diagnosed with DID-nos and am unsure if I am supposed to post here or not.

Welcome hazelbee yes of course, there's this thread which is general status updates, there's a just-for-fun questions thread, and other threads for whatever you like as you can see. And there is the garden subforum for little alters too.

[darkpurplesecrets]

Just feel the need to reach out somewhere and hope someone can hear maybe what we are unable to say. Feeling so alone and as though we don't matter like no one even notices we are not around, that we have pulled away into silence. Why does no one seem to ask the question of what did they do that has caused us the inability to asked for help, to fear even those that are supposed to be safe, to shut down to silence when it is clear we are not okay. Seems no one cares and while no one can read our mind or know what we need, our silence and absence should speak volumes but seems to only scream how much we are really alone and mean nothing. Feels we are disappearing a little more each day and no one even notices or maybe they do and it is for the best............

[Solnutty]

I see you, here. I'm listening and reading your post. Keep posting. People are here to listen.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by darkpurplesecrets

Just feel the need to reach out somewhere and hope someone can hear maybe what we are unable to say. Feeling so alone and as though we don't matter like no one even notices we are not around, that we have pulled away into silence. Why does no one seem to ask the question of what did they do that has caused us the inability to asked for help, to fear even those that are supposed to be safe, to shut down to silence when it is clear we are not okay. Seems no one cares and while no one can read our mind or know what we need, our silence and absence should speak volumes but seems to only scream how much we are really alone and mean nothing. Feels we are disappearing a little more each day and no one even notices or maybe they do and it is for the best............

I have felt a bit like that myself. I've shared a bit with some friends, not a lot but enough for them to know that this is hard for me. They pulled away from me too.

My heart tells me that maybe sometimes people don't know how to respond or be there when someone is walking through things that are not a physical issue. It doesn't make it feel any better but I have tried to see it that way.

Please do keep posting. I have found friends here who do understand and it has helped me greatly.

feeling good, but worthless.

which is a weird way to feel

but yeah

[dlantern]

Feeling good glad for the weekend.

[Solnutty]

I'm starting to drink again. I have to stop.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by Solnutty

I'm starting to drink again. I have to stop.

I'm leaning towards over indulgence myself. It's causing me to feel pretty bad about myself.

I've decided to train for another half marathon and find a weekend yoga class.

I'm hoping that will help.

(((Hugs)))

[cogladaid]

I posted in another section but figured I should post here instead.

Last couple days I can't tell if I'm just unfocused or if I'm missing chunks of memory. I don't remember some small things like watching back from lunch and picking up the phone. A couple moments like that leaving me confused. How I got there.

[TrailRunner14]

I reached out to a friend tonight who I talked to earlier today. We've friends many years and she's not really understanding what I'm walking through.

I was pretty transparent with her and it wasn't a good choice.

Just saying.

[Solnutty]

I have one friend I've known more than a decade and I keep wanting to talk to her about what is really going on with me, but knowing her I feel she will never understand or be able to accept really knowing me. I always decide to hold back. My heart goes out to you

today we have a consultation with a new councelor

originally, he was going to do it by phone, but now he wants us to use this secure chat website where no personal information is shared.

we signed up yesterday to have a look and ugg

we're not exactly the best fan of it, but hoping that we can use it for the duration of the consultation (about an hour)

yesterday's consultation was difficult on us

braught up a lot of early memories of abuse (the questions we were asked were things we'd rather forget)

Possible trigger:

it got to the stage where, halfway through, we punched oursellves in the face, because it was getting too much for us.

thought we were going to have a pannic attack too, because we felt ourselves starting to shake, but we didn't which was okay.

the website we used for the consultatios turned out not to be too bad, but we left a little early to try and recover from the memories that were braught up.

we were going to come on here and ask if someone could talk to us for a little bit, but we didn't.

I don't remember what we did for the rest of the evening actually. it's a blur.

all we know is that we didn't sleep last night, and today we're just feeling fed up with our lives

[Solnutty]

I'm sorry that happened to you. I'll be watching your posts to keep up on how you're doing

we're having a tough time today.

Possible trigger:

so in short, we turned on our phone this morning and discovered that our family (who were our abusers) had left us a voicemail.

they withheled their number, so obviously they don't want a response, but now we are extremely worried, since we really don't want them back in our lives, especially at this time when we are figuring lots of things out.

[Solnutty]

I'm in one of those times when I can't get myself to want to go to bed. I just stay up for hours.

Originally Posted by Solnutty

I'm in one of those times when I can't get myself to want to go to bed. I just stay up for hours.

I hope you get some sleep soon.

I know it sucks. I got no sleep yesterday either

I feel pukey...also working on the truck in the hot sun. Too much beer we drank last night...don't remember after 8:00.

Possible trigger:

heard from family today

used a lot of well... select words, and scared us majorly.

nothing else happening though, nothing, and it's sort of depressing.

Possible trigger:

actually, scrap that. life can't be depressing if life's not even happening for us.

could we please end it now?

it would be nice..

Son is experiencing first heartbreak...asks me about mine....have zero memory of it. Feeling helpless in helping.

I wanna shoot these other alters. Getting sick of this. -_-

[Gr3tta_0]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I wanna shoot these other alters. Getting sick of this. -_-

I have often felt similarly. I do not know how to solve, but i empathize.

[TrailRunner14]

I'm not in a good place.

This is hard.

I don't want to be here.

My words are tied. There's no place to put this.

I don't belong here.

I'm so tired of this.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Thank you for hearing me.

[Amyjay]

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

alive I guess.

another day tragickly wasted

still wondering the point