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#1
Other thread has reached over 100 pages so here is a new thread
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Member
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 37
8 3 hugs
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#2
Slept good last night. Self-hating fragment is certainly present today but I'm not depressed enough to do anything. Trying to focus at work but having a hard time since it's just me and my dog here. I want to work and be productive (I'm a grad student) but it's like I fear success, whereas being a ****-up is comfortable and known. I think I'm feeling like I'm more in a mindset to work on articles and datasets, but there is this barrier still.
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 2,709
16 339 hugs
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#3
I hope your day goes okay, Kevin.
Today we go back to work after having some time off to study (blah - didn't happen). Kinda looking forward to getting back into a daily routine again. |
kevin_pc
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: the sunny side of the street
Posts: 672
12 1,231 hugs
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#4
daily routine is good, but we find it hard going back to work after having a holiday...it feels stressful and tiring because because we put on the facade that we are 'normal' and everything is peachy keen in life. plus some insiders struggle that they can't be themselves at work.
today i have realised that one of my littles is still upset about a major rupture that happened with T over four years ago (thought we had pretty much worked through it with T at the time...maybe it was other insiders who rectified with T). now this little is feeling sad and hurt again by what happened and i am not sure if it is worth dredging this up again in our session. it was quite painful the first time having to work through it |
Magnate
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 2,709
16 339 hugs
given |
#5
Quote:
Maybe for you, if there is still hurt then there is still healing to be done? |
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Guest
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#6
we're sort of in meltdown mode
we've lost our christmas decorations (bear with us, we've not lost our minds) no.. we have christmas decorations hung on our doors all year round because it makes us feel safe- and now we've lost them, we have no clue where they are.... they've not fallen down, or taken from the handle (as far as we know), hmm... it's a strange thing. stacy's back at work today doing her job as a therapist. like she said to us yesterday the weekends are so boring.. and she's so right (she was going to post here, but didn't) 0 sleep again, though i suppose that's to be expected |
Luce
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 2,709
16 339 hugs
given |
#7
That must be worrisome, SS. Do you think one of your alts might have interfered with them?
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Guest
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#8
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Luce
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Veteran Member
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Leon Valley
Posts: 678
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#9
Today has been bad. I keep hanging up the phone, starting things, then not realizing I'm doing them. My blackouts are on a whole new level today. Anything stressful and I'm feeling anxious, then I'm gone. I'm having to try to focus really hard because I feel like nothing is real right now. Like I'm in a bad movie. I keep watching documentaries to keep my mind in check. It feels foggy, my head hurts, and I'm finding myself unproductive.
Sent from my iPhone SE using Tapatalk. __________________ (ᵔᴥᵔ)You'll struggle but as long as you're alive, you've got a chance.(ᵔᴥᵔ) |
Basketball101, Luce
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 2,709
16 339 hugs
given |
#10
Second day back at work, working with the woman who triggers the heck outta me. Last night I was reading about trauma and attachment and recognized the pattern in how she behaves towards me... (it has always been obvious to me that she has dissociation/unresolved trauma stuff going on.)
Her relationship with me is as an internalized abuser to a weaker object. With others she is the 'good' person, an almost child like persona that seeks attachment by pleasing everyone around her. With me she attacks, criticizes, belittles... she often speaks to me with what I can only describe as 'venom'. At least now we have a third person working with us, and this person was shocked to see how I was treated and was able to stand up for me. (When this woman attacks me I haven't figured out how to stand up for myself yet... I freeze, switch, have panic attacks etc). I hate my work at the moment. |
kecanoe, MessyDesk, TrailRunner14
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Guest
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#11
still no sleep.
still no sign of our door decorations otherwise good. we ordered some twizzlers off amazon, after someone suggested we might enjoy them having takeout pizza tonight |
Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: the sunny side of the street
Posts: 672
12 1,231 hugs
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#12
Quote:
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Guest
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#13
uggg extremely switchy today.
not going to fight it- all ready lost an hour and we have voices of the first person in our life who we ever showed ourselves too, open and honestly oh.. maybe being online here a bit will help me stay in the present |
Member
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 37
8 3 hugs
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#14
Quote:
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Luce
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Guest
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#15
spent yesterday afternoon drawing animals to stick on our wall
all red animals red parrot, red dog, red cat, red snake, red lion we are feeling pretty focused and with it for the moment |
Magnate
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 2,709
16 339 hugs
given |
#16
I have been trying to write out the weeks long list of bullying incidents at work to make a formal complaint. I can't do it. Everything is so switchy and chopped up. I just keep losing time.
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kecanoe
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Guest
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#17
I feel insane.
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kecanoe
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Guest
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#18
we seriously have nothing else to do, so are wondering why our toes are tickly
toes toes, tickly toes, why mine are tickly, no boddy knows! |
Guest
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#19
thanks to something that happened yesterday, we currently have no sterrio
blah |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: In my own little world, NO trespassing!
Posts: 4,660
11 77 hugs
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#20
My niece recently graduated from college with a psych degree & wants to move on to her Masters.
I got a chance to talk to her about what she'd like to do in the future. I told her I'm a huge fan of IFS therapy that I've been using & reading about for years Bec of my issues with dissociation. She said she didn't know about IFS! I asked her if she wanted to specialize in CBT & she really couldn't say much. I don't get this! Wouldn't they cover the basic foundations of psychology in college? How would she know what to specialize in if she doesn't even know what's out there? I really wonder about the psych industry..... __________________ "Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
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