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#1
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So T says it's going to be a long road because I can't seem to wrap my head around something but says it's ok...it's going to be slow and long and it's ok. So what I am struggling with is understanding what happened to parts also happened to me. The reason it's so hard to understand and relate to is because I don't feel it's my experience, my thoughts, my feelings, my wants, my desires or anything. Some parts feel the same about me. I logically know one mind one body but I can't be like it's me and believe it 100%.
Wondering how anyone else deals with this, or if you do feel like parts are you and you are parts kind of thing? Not meaning integration...just accepting that parts are you and you are parts. I feel so separate from parts and they feel the same. But we all seem to know on a logically way that what happened happened to all but our views remain different. |
#2
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It took a long time for us to come to that understanding and accept that we are one person... we are still walled off from some parts, so I guess some are not there yet, too. But when we first began to gain awareness of each other some had an adamant denial of any relationship whatsoever.
Dissociation works. It does a good job! Your T is right. It takes a long time. And it really can't be rushed. You may seem to make progress at times and then something might happen and the dissociative walls might go up again. Our front group is the most cohesive it has ever been, and it is because it is managed by me, who understands that we are all part of one person and that we need to come together. I have no denial. It is easier for me because I am less emotional. The more emotional ones struggle with accepting stuff because they feel it more. It is much harder for them. I am waffling. Sorry. But yeah, it takes time (because it needs to!) Last edited by Luce; Aug 02, 2016 at 01:37 AM. |
#3
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I am emotional-less too. I used the analogy of being a cup, and my moods and views etc...change with the type of stuff inside. I sometimes feel I am a place holder and you never know what your gonna get. I think it's why I can't feel connected to the emotions.
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#4
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In some ways I think it is the emotions that give the air of reality to something. Knowing something intellectually is very different to knowing it on an emotional level. And alters often hold opposing viewpoints / realities... so it is really hard for one alter who loves a person to understand the reality of another alter who was abused by that same person. Their emotional realities are completely different. Incompatible even. It takes a long, long time to work through such extreme emotional conflict to find a middle ground.
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#5
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Those name droppers are the ones that want their ownership, so I try to keep that separate. I'm at the mindset if they are truly out in T names will be said, or to a lesser extent something about them. I think you have to play it by ear.. Talking internal communication, if you have that as well. Go with whatever is okay to do, if they seem separate they are.
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#6
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Think is everything that makes something seem whole and even one piece missing messes it all up. Partly when I heard T say it will be a long time to process as I am stuck, I just felt a find of hopelessness. Almost like why then am I bothering trying to be here and waste your time, but I can't say that to her. I know she doesn't feel it's a waste and that there is hope. It's just a thought.
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#7
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I don't think its a waste stuck is temporary.
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#8
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Think your right...I just feel like I am stuck all the time, which feels hopeless. But not necessarily a waste.
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