Feeling "little"

My schedule is limited but if it were on the weekends, I would make whatever accommodations necessary to attend. Just wanted to let you know that there is interest.

We have some very 'accomplished' child alters in here too. Whaddya mean 10 year olds can't drive?

My friends and I met through our shared T. I recall she used to post messages on a notice board - perhaps you could ask your T if she knows of any other multiples who are looking for connection?

My counselor has suggested that I attend an alanon group meeting. I would like to. I've had flashbacks with him and the babbler part of me has come out with him. It makes me very nervous and afraid to open myself up to people who do not understand.

Does that make any sense? It makes me feel very vulnerable.

My wife took her to the casino this afternoon and the little one drove.

One of my Ts other clients had asked if she could put her name and number on the noticeboard in the waiting room, specifically asking to meet others who have DID. T agreed, and the client asked if T could let her other DID clients know about it.
So you could ask your T if you could leave a note for other multiples to see.
I met a couple of multiples that way - at first just talking on the phone (back in the 90s, no internet) then meeting at a café.

Well I guess these days you could set up a separate email account for it. That would probably work better.

It seems like I may have posted this before, but it's very much on my mind.

Does anyone else feel "not grown up" at the age that you are? I don't believe that I have ever felt like a grownup and I'm 52.

I can't really put a time or age number on what I feel, but I just don't feel like a "grown up" and can't explain that either. It's not like I feel like a "child" part of myself or that I'm having problem functioning as an adult. Mostly. I just don't feel like one.

My counselor is younger than me, I believe by 2 years, but when I meet with him there is a safety there like a parent. ? It's not authoritative in feeling. It a feeling that I'm younger and he is an adult. He is safe.

I also feel like that dealing with most other adults. The younger feeling, not the safety. That puts me in a weird place as far as normal trust for a friendship or average occasional social interaction.

I'm having a hard time describing this. I hope it makes sense.

Anybody else?

In short, yes. I don't have the happy kinds of experiences that so many are reporting here, though. For me, the younger selves are soaked in a lot of pain and they have roles or tasks. Understanding them is hard because of what they come with.

People are less likely to make comments about strange youngish behavior because of the kind of work I do, but there is one colleague who regularly says, when there are meltdowns, "What are you, five years old?" And she does it in a shaming way. For me, none of this is a happy experience. I'm not even sure I accept it, but things are unfolding and making sense and I'm working on understanding. There is a lot of conflict. A lot of pain on all fronts.

My hope is that my younger, fearful and anxious parts, can find healing and safety and maybe I could entertain with them the thought of engaging in the activity that would give them happiness. I'm trying to imagine that and it's there, but very distant. As long as it's there, there is a desire to believe it.

Thank you, TR14. You sound like my therapist who has been working with everyone to find what those things might be. It's very slow going.