[MyCommittee]

I was in a relationship for 2 years. Long story short, I grew unhappy, which always happens. I ended it, started seeing another person.

Things keep going on with the guy (BF), though. And he's certain another alter is "running the show" with this new guy. He says he's heard certain phrases indicating it's Rachel.

Rachel still waits for my ex-husband to come home. It's been 8 years, longer with all the years of fighting that went on. She still waits. BF thinks RACHEL thinks she's found a replacement, for the ex-H. The butterflies, the lifestyle, many characteristics. Right down to the narcissism, but Rachel doesn't care because she knows that stuff.

Sometimes when I'm on a date with the new guy, I see another person, ex. Especially if we are drinking. I have to look away, then look back.

I've made a huge mess and with this new news, it feels even bigger of a mess.

...how do i know if "I" wanted this or if Rachel really is doing this?/??

[Skeezyks]

Hello MyCommittee: I'm sorry I cannot comment with regard to your concerns. However I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by MyCommittee

I was in a relationship for 2 years. Long story short, I grew unhappy, which always happens. I ended it, started seeing another person.

Things keep going on with the guy (BF), though. And he's certain another alter is "running the show" with this new guy. He says he's heard certain phrases indicating it's Rachel.

Rachel still waits for my ex-husband to come home. It's been 8 years, longer with all the years of fighting that went on. She still waits. BF thinks RACHEL thinks she's found a replacement, for the ex-H. The butterflies, the lifestyle, many characteristics. Right down to the narcissism, but Rachel doesn't care because she knows that stuff.

Sometimes when I'm on a date with the new guy, I see another person, ex. Especially if we are drinking. I have to look away, then look back.

I've made a huge mess and with this new news, it feels even bigger of a mess.

...how do i know if "I" wanted this or if Rachel really is doing this?/??

the only people that can answer this question for you is you and Rachel.

let me give you an example.... If I told you I discovered a new sweater in my closet can you tell me whether it was me that wanted that new sweater or if it was one of my alters...

of course not right because you are not a mind reader and you are not inside my body to know what each of my alters may have been thinking and whether it was me or my alters before I was integrated that bought that sweater.

only I and my alters would have been able to tell others who wanted that sweater.

my suggestion is if you can ask your alter rachel whether it was her, you obviously would be able to answer whether it was you because you would know whether you wanted a new relationship or not. people usually do know whether they are interested in dating becoming friends with someone or not.

[Luce]

Hi, MC. Welcome.
I guess the only way to find out the answer is to do some internal work / communication with the ones involved. Do you see a therapist who can help you with this?