How do you deal with knowing about your condition and also to "see" it in action but helpless to effect positive change or control?

I mean like....

Okay....we are like a guy at work even though it's so like disconnected and barely any memories about it, but......we know that we "switch" transforming into an entirely opposite Other- me when we get home.

It makes me pukey thinking about it. Even the guys get sick thinking about it....that I know.

It's like peeking at their essence through a window....watching with no self awareness.

Now I'm up and everything else is a dream. Is this for real?

Just knowing that we are suppose to be one but totally fragmented drives our anxiety and stress. I feel so disgusted in myself because I know that which makes it fantasmal.

How do you handle being in a body that is yours but yet not yours?

Like I'm in a guys body and it's not right but I also know that we have guys that are like okay with this body, so I feel alien.

Not to only mention that I'm out almost as much as they every night on my time.

It's soul devastating to be me so much I hate being me. Even though we get to do our girl things...it's just not the same. We are so in a league by ourselves.

Does it bother and how do you deal to accept it? I'm so mad at God right now that this is all so unfair.

our current problem is like yours.. our original (or host), no longer wants to be here- no longer wants to live this, and even more distressing, no longer wants to be part of this world (meaning we're all in danger of being wiped out)

trying to convince the original they are just as important as us

hard work

Our younger cross gender teens are a little upset and can't handle all this- never have and probably never will.

But it's okay.....we tough right through this on a daily basis.