Our B-day rant

Today the body turns 49

Where did life go?...a yearly reminder of how fast we are dying. Our birthday memory consists of childhood resentments. I'm sure we had b-day parties...but can't remember any of them.

Our biggest resentment is getting our birthday money and then told I can now buy Christmas gifts for my abusers because I had money. Huh? Everyone else not born next to Christmas gets to buy things for themselves. "Don't be selffish...your father..."

Or when they forget your birthday and then hand you a christmas gift from under the tree...that's it. Forgotten for b-day and jipped for Christmas...to a kid this is horrific.

This followed by maybe a gift or two for the rest of my life...always the giver...hardly a recipient which is an ego blow as to how everyone appreciated me.

Rant rant rant...sorry. This is the worst month of my life...an ever reminder as to how screwed up our life is of which no amount of drugs or alcohol can wipe the memories away.

This is a yearly recurring rant...just can't seem to let go.

AC2, I'm saddened that you weren't allowed "your day". Just because it's close to Christmas doesn't make it less of a day and should still be celebrated like everyone else's day. I'm sorry you didn't get to experience that.

And you are absolutely right, when you got money for your birthday it was for you, not for having to buy gifts for anyone else. If you wanted to spend some of your money like that, it would have been fine, your decision, but to not be able to make that decision for yourself, one way or the other is a real shame.

I hope things are different for you now and you can make up your own mind as to how and when and where to spend your money. And even though this time of year and your birthday don't hold good memories for you, I hope you can find one good thing in the here and now that can help you get through this time a little bit more easily.

I, for one celebrate you. You are deserving just like everyone else and for that reason I wish you a Happy Birthday! Every single bit of you!

Thank you so much.

My son just told me he that he failed the first semester of senior highschool through excessive absenteeism and won't be able to get his drivers course done and it was the schools fault. I went in to a speel about growing up....leaving work at 10 pm but not getting home till 2 am but can't get to school..blah blah blah...

There went my planned morning nap.

I feel incapable of dealing with this anymore, especially if he fails. He's moving out regardless if. I can't handle any of this anymore. I can barely manage my mind...but having to deal with a self assured delusional teenager, too? I am at a breaking point.

Oh well, b-day over. Got chores to do.

Yaaay. Got to sleep all day...me and the dog Cleo just dog napped. Now to do whatever.

i know the feeling, my bday is on the 6th and no one really ever thinks about it because of christmas, why do people like christmas so much

Glad you got to have a nap, and that is was enjoyable. What else can you do that will be nice for you??
I agree with you that birthdays suck. Just a way to slap it in your face that you don't matter. We have learned tho to be nice to ourselves on our birthday, and we like to go out for breakfast lunch and dinner. Because we hate cooking and we hate dishes and we hardly ever go out. So we go out and eat yummy stuff.
All day.

We went and picked up take out Chinease (lo mein) food and ate in watching t.v. It was delicious and definetly a treat.