[Lost_in_the_woods]

Umm..ya so here's like the deal or whateva
I'm pretty sure sumthin like REAL REAL BAD happent but no1 is tellin me $#¡T!!

So ya ummm..I'm only 14. I NEED HELP! Like 4 realz!
So ummm I have been like pretendin 2b a grown-up 4 like idk a wk I think? N I'm no baby or nothin so I can act like a freakin grownup when I need 2..but I neva been left out this loong b4!! N the 1s who r most xs in charge r like GONE! Like I mean their not gone gone but their like wwaaayyy chkt out!! I'm freakin out here n I cnt get em 2 lizen 2me! At 1st I figurt they were like jus havin it hard cuz xmas × n all...then a cuppa dayz I didn't c their hubbie...so I jus like ummm figurt he wuz b-in like a bigger Ahole then ush. So last nite..I'm like freakin out wickt bad cuz Umm DUH! it's been like a,freakin wk n I ush only out like 1-3 xs a mnth n short jus 2 deal wit our mums cuz I'm the only 1 who don't care boutique tellin her 2 F' OFF n stuff.

Newayz here's like the major stuff...umm k?.
Last nite, I'm like wiggin BIG cuz I cnt do this no more!! So I'm like screw em n I'm txtin the hubbie. I dnt care if their pist or whatevs..he told me like idk a Whyl ago 2 call txt whateva him if like sumthin wuz wrong or I jus like needt nethin. So I sent him like a million txts n the fone sayd he got em or answrt..Umm idk how it workz!! BUT HE GOT EM!! I waited 4likeEVA n Nothin cum bck! I got like wickt mad n $#¡T n wuz like beggin him 4HELP!!! Or even just freakin answr me!!3 n NOTHIN!!! Then I think I like musta fell asleep cuz it wuz mornin n the fone wuz ringin!! I got like soon xcitd!! Cuz I thout it wuz him, but NO! It wuz a stranger lookin 4him!! I realwyed tht had happent like 1nc a day or more since I been stuck out here!! Then I start puttin evrythin 2gether n... ummm like k....?
1.All the Callz 4 him 2 their fone Not his...
2.All his stuff is like still here jus like nothin movt at all.
3. He dnt answr NE of the callz or txts...hmmm..
4. The 2 big 1s who r like actually his wifies or whateva have like gone nutz..n r like super outta it gone..n left me in charge??!! WTF?! Tht jus dnt happen like neva-eva!!
I SENT 1 more txt 2 him tell him all this n say I'm wickt scart cuz like now I think I kno wht musta happent! I THINK HE MUST B DEAD! 4 REAL!! I waited 4 him 2 answr 4 a loong × jus stairt at the fone...NO ANSWR! ....so YA!...ummm freakin out like 4 REAL SIRIUS!!...I lookt at Google no obit... then on FB n lookz like he wuz on his fone their 1 day it sayd....soo ya ummm like now I'm EVEN more cofust n scart then eva!! Cuz IDK WTF 2 think!!! I dnt undrstnd!!! Y wood he ignore me?!! I mean ya I kno tht he is thinks I'm like a super annoyin brat sum xs but I tolt him wht the wht wuz goin on here...N then I ast if he wuz DEAD n still notin!! N no inside grown ups 2b newere not 1s tht kno NE thin bout this newayz!! So wht do I do???!! NE adults here kno how 2 HELP? I dnt wnt 2 ask NE grownups out here cuz like Idk wht 2 say n they will jus think we goed Kahrazy n lock us up again n I am NEVA goin bck! N I kno we not krazy like looney bin krazy I mean... obs. We krazy..lol buy 4 REAL sum 1 tell me wht 2do??!! Pleez! Cuz I'm only 14! N sumthin is SIRIUS broke n I am not who knos nethin bout this stuff..n I can help but I can't b INCHARGE!!! YiKES I am not a prime. I'm jus a ked!

[Luce]

Hey there. I can see you are pretty freaked out about all that is going on. I can also see that you don't know what is happening and your mind is racing trying to think of all the possibilities, because you are just trying to figure it all out. It must be pretty hard for you not getting any answers from the outside or the inside. No wonder you are freaking and feeling alone.
I have no idea what is or could be going on with your inside an outside people, but I know things usually have a way of becoming clearer over time. If you are not in any immediate danger from anything I suggest waiting. Do something to fill in your time. Watch a movie. Fix yourself something to eat. Read a book or play a favorite game on the internet. Just fill in time until things become clearer. Because they will, eventually.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Thanx. I wacht sum TV. Scream Queens. It made me laff I still have like no freakin clu WTF is goin on aarrggh! But I dnt care sooo much now. I jus h8 b-in like comp. outta the loop. I kno evrythin gets betta sum ×. Jus wish I new when!! I dnt like when thins get all wonky n nobdy lizens 2me newayz eva. I jus neva helt the fort down 4 sooo loong b4. It's Makin me like wickt kranky. Sum1s gotta. Or who the hell knos wht wood happen...idk? Jus sux. I'm not like wickt mad at ne1 here cuz obs. they r not ok. but their man!cuz like If he ain't like 4 realz dead..then yo thts jus fuct up!

[Luce]

Sounds like you're using a couple of ways to keep yourself occupied. That's good.
We have had similar things happen over the years... for one reason or another a bunch of us lie low for a bit and leave someone else out in charge (usually a kid part) who, like you, is freaked out about the whole deal and scared because they don't know if the others are ever coming back or not. It is a scary situation to be in for someone who isn't used to handling all the life stuff, for sure!
But they do come back, they always do, because there is nowhere else for them to go. They will have a good reason for being gone, because it sounds like they wouldn't have left you in charge if there wasn't another choice. When it happened to us our front people really needed a break. Things had just been getting too overwhelming for them and they just couldn't cope anymore. So they needed to check out for a bit.
So you know, just do the best you can while they are gone. Look after you, look after the body, and hold the fort as best you can until they are able to come back. It's okay if you don't do a perfect job. They will be back as soon as they can be.
You got this.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

((((LUCE)))) Thank you so much for talking us down last night! means so much to us! We are not dealing well with the aftermath of something that suddenly and drastically changed our life..possibly irreversible.. I hope it isn't permanent... it all happened on fast and the triggers were like lightning...that I honestly have no clue how it got so out of control and who actually reacted and made the judgement call. I remember somethings but it was in and out fuzzy and then just fear and shock..and I trust that the right thing was done at the time...but I didnt and still don't want any of it!!! I never thought that I (mepart) was ever going to have to feel all of this horrible deep sadness....I don't even recognize myself anymore. I am a protector/ ANP. My counterpart and charge..we just started to figure out how to function co-consciously again after a very long backslide into full amnesia. And I now I don't even know where to start to help her! I've look at myself now and I see all the weakness that I used to see in her and promised myself I would never let you that be my fate!! I'm so heartbroken and still just in shock...and she is so far worse off than me.. she is just beyond broken in ways that I will not share with anyone. So I just sat with her and cried and made sure she was safe. Me n her we are generally who deals with home family work daily stuff. I guess everything hit so fast and hard..that even though I have been out front almost everyday for whatever I can handle..I guess i never thought who was out in my absence??!!... it should have been M.H. I guess i just assumed. I didn't know until it was far to out of hand last night that 14 was out and alone like that!!!.. it's my fault really...I am the front line. It's my job to watch the gate unless H.J. is prime. Then I stand back unless she clearly needs me... but 14... that's awful on so many levels! She does have her own guardian, but 14 is a strange part. I can explain really but I have always felt like she was my responsibility... because I might fairly sure it's my fault that she even exists at all. I wanted to push her out of the way so bad last night but I think I maybe couldn't reach her or someone or something was pushing me back its,all been so foggy. Then HJ started screaming so I had to go to her... I'm so sorry 14. Nobody ment to leave you all alone in the dark like that!! There are two others who should be very ashamed of themselves!! But I know it's not for me to judge and one I only know of. I have no consciousness w/ Dr. B only know basic info. MH on the other hand...She's a,slippery one comes,and goes...no one I guess everything finds her..she finds you...but I do have a small amount of co-consciousness with her..when she shows face that is... sorry I ranted. tl;dr....so sorry everyone. Today is crap.

[Luce]

Sounds like you are all doing the very best you can in an overwhelming situation. Go easy on yourself. 14 survived it. Probably even learned that she CAN hold the fort in emergencies. She kept the system safe. She did fine.
Are you okay?

[Lost_in_the_woods]

No not really. But I'm still here and breathing...that counts for something I think?...

[Luce]

It does.
If you are still breathing there is still hope.