Our entire system is in fear of rejection- maybe because a lifetime of rejection might have something to do with it?

This has impeded us from being strong, assertive, confident, calm, at ease, nonchalant,....

We are too needy which shows...needy for acceptance, companionship, being liked, acknowledgement,...which has left us wide open for further abuse.

When will the cycle end? We have an idea...but it's too finite.

[elevatedsoul]

im like this too

i actually talk to my therapist about it a little... i need everyone to like me, as long as everyone likes me they have less chance of wanting to hurt me i feel like... so i try so hard to be likeable...

[Luce]

We deal with this same fear by not needing. IRL we avoid people and don't need expect or want anything from anyone. We operate from an assumption of rejection. We are (usually) pleasant kind and compassionate towards others but we literally expect nothing in return. Not the 'oh, nobody will care for us' or 'nobody will think of our feelings' kind of thing, but a flat out expectation and acceptance of not being liked cared about or considered. We usually withdraw before the awkwardness can begin.
At the same time we have strong connections with and care for each other, so there is no loneliness. We have no expectation that anyone would like us at all. We are not likeable or lovable. Sometimes people might think we are but they are wrong. I guess all those feelings of rejection get avoided this way.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Rejection, abandonment,shame, ridicule, fear....fear they will see the truth. That they will see that "there is no man behind the curtain"....that all of us are special effects, flash pods, and projected images...we are real, but we are illusions, smoke and mirrors. A grand facade crafted by a vision of "what we should be/look like/act"...acrylic fabrications of a small scared child hiding in a dark closet..crying....I'm not bad I'm not bad I'm not bad I'm not bad I'm not bad I'm not bad.....

[Luce]

Originally Posted by Lost_in_the_woods

Rejection, abandonment,shame, ridicule, fear....fear they will see the truth. That they will see that "there is no man behind the curtain"....that all of us are special effects, flash pods, and projected images...we are real, but we are illusions, smoke and mirrors. A grand facade crafted by a vision of "what we should be/look like/act"...acrylic fabrications of a small scared child hiding in a dark closet..crying....I'm not bad I'm not bad I'm not bad I'm not bad I'm not bad I'm not bad.....

Hmmm. Can relate.
It's a nasty ole bad luck of the draw we all ended up with, isn't it? What happened to any one of us on this board wasn't our fault, but we sure didn't luck out in the 'safe and secure childhood' lottery.
And just look what a mess it leaves us all in...

[kecanoe]

Yeah, fear of rejection. For some reason, I fear it with everybody but my H. And I consider not feeling that with H to be a huge blessing. I think it is probably due to me mostly being adult when I am around him. Although I guess I think I am adult more than he thinks I am.

I don't know...it reminds me of a puppy dog looking for approval....disgusting.

We have Others craving positive attention which makes us looking needy.

Stop it!

[Michael W. Harris]

If you are abused by your intimate family members when you are a toddler, fear of rejection is going to be a constant part of your life. (Except in some special cases, maybe.) Also problems with personal relationships are common.

I have always had a fear of rejection. Because of how I was treated by my Mother and two year older brother, people who I innately loved, loved ones can trigger me into my alter states. I have had an extremely hard time with intimacy or keeping intimate relationships.

Happy New Year.

Originally Posted by Michael W. Harris

If you are abused by your intimate family members when you are a toddler, fear of rejection is going to be a constant part of your life. (Except in some special cases, maybe.) Also problems with personal relationships are common.

I have always had a fear of rejection. Because of how I was treated by my Mother and two year older brother, people who I innately loved, loved ones can trigger me into my alter states. I have had an extremely hard time with intimacy or keeping intimate relationships.

Happy New Year.

Very very true here. My fourth (final?) relationship has died. Hoping to finalize divorce real soon. This fear of rejection has caused us to avoid meeting new people....but we are going against our fears and are going to step out of our comfort zone to attend meetings.