Prison

I seriously can't help to feel that I really need to be in prison.

Because.

Prison wouldn't help you at all. It would only make you worse.

Prison is where we find ourselves when we are trying to see beyond where we are.

That just came spilling out. I know what you mean. My parts that I've found have felt bound up and boxed in.

It's safe there, but it's also very binding and straining.

We want freedom.

Don't know if that applies to your thoughts. It's what I felt when I read your post.

I don't like saying (( hug )). It sounds so impersonal. But, that.

It's so tiring to navigate a day let alone life. We flourish in confinement.....an external routine to follow....no major decision making...no pressure and stress of responsibilities- triggers...

We loved school...it was a planned routine. Once we graduated....we fell apart.

Work is good for us. We get up at 6 a.m. And we do our work routine till 4:30. After that...we float till the next morning. The weekends we just sit unsure and wait for Monday morning.

I'd rather be committed to a hospital, but prison is more long term.

too many people, too crowded... i dont wanna go to prison

maybe a residence shared with other people like me... but im not even sure about that since i need so much alone time...

Wouldn't it be great to have a community? People who understand each other. People who can talk openly and honestly about what they are walking through.

Hum. That kind of reminds me of the movie "The Giver" maybe not a good idea.

It is worth entertaining. Maybe an island? Not a prison though.

With routine comes control. No surprises, no triggers, no switching. We know what to expect and can relax more than none.

I think the other people in the prison would probably be very triggering for me.

I do agree that routine is helpful, though. Have you thought about structuring your weekends so that you know what to expect?

We got some who think prison sounds like vacation. Them ones say in prison you do one bad thing n get your very own cell n they bring you food every day n theres always heat n water n food n you never gotta be round other people n well thats good. They dont do no bad things to get us lock up tho cuz other ones of us well we think prison sounds scary so they behave so they dont set us off.

Through our crazy and addictions we came very very close. We have those here that are scared of it, too.

So far saturday we do mithing and subday we get ready for monday like laundry and clean house.

I unfortunately have done about four years of incarceration since 1999. My first experience was 18 months in Orange County Jail in Orlando. Most male dissociatives end up in jail and prison. I saw many in Orange County Jail. I saw young men who cut, burn, pierce, etc. Jails and Prison will give out psychotropic drugs but that is it. No therapy at all. The drug companies make a fortune off this!

You can see every mental illness in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual on Mental Illness in Orange County Jail.

I have never been in prison but I have been in jail and jail ain't no picnic.