Kinda freaking out...

So I (we) had PT this afternoon, and one of the littles, not sure which one, had a moment...

I was trying to get them back inside, and I did hear the PT person comment... so, what happened was, they had me do some exercises for my the shoulders and thoracic area, that involved a couple different sizes of the balls. And during the rest part between reps, someone started playing (not too much, but still).

I know at least one of the PTs noticed... he said something like "one more set... after you play w/ the ball for a min.) and now I don't want to go back Thursday...

Hmph.

I guess you'll be okay just go back Thursday to the class it's not so much to get over emotional about

It's so hard living in a world that just don't get it....we were and are still in hell!

I mentioned to my doctor about having Others hes like yeah okay whatever.

Your just labeled weird no matter what. Not an ounce of understanding.

Sorry that that happened to you. I'd just go back with a screw you approach.

I'm not sure if they gave us weird looks or anything... all I know is I was trying to get the kiddo back inside, and they just wanted to play... now, tho, it's kinda funny. Picture a five year old that has never had a toy be the right size for them (cuz adult body...) being handed a ball that is actually the right proportional size. The first one, we were sitting in a chair and it went to our chest. The second one was at least a two foot diameter. I am still hearing them, I believe it's Kida (2 to 3 yrs old) now that I have calmed down a bit and can actual hear inside, squealing with joy over the balls!

I think the screw you or whatever attitude is best, cuz she got so much happiness out of those stinkin balls, it's actually feeling a little worth it at this point.

I guess you have to understand things that are hard to understand just keep Livin

I know that feeling... it's one of the reasons I like working mostly with kids when I can. If I switch and want to play, it's business as usual for them... with adults I don't explain, just smile. If they think I'm a weirdo it's just the truth in the end.

this happens to me quite a lot at the gym with my trainer. i wouldnt worry about it. not a big deal.plenty of adults like to have fun as well.

I know so what you are talking about...some people just don't know when to keep their big mouth shut. I also know how you feel, or at least I think I do...shock that it happened, devastated, humiliated, targeted, embarrassed, fear, sad that you are the way we are: all at once....then totally pissed off at self after all that...that we even have to go through all that....flashbacks.....

That person was a jerk. I would call him out privately, no forget all that, their not worth it. I know anything that I say or do would be considered crazy....being too sensitive....then fantasies of taking them out would ensue (we have a Ninja)...

But not going back would eat at me because....I let it get to me...but also knowing that most of the emotions and feelings are the Others.....

I feel for you...it's so hard dealing with people...if I were the only one on this planet, I'd have very less stress....so I'm basically a social recluse, staying out of sight because looks drive us crazy. Can you just find another PT? If I'm paying for something and I feel insulted at one point as being human...I find it easier and more to point to take my money somewhere else. Good luck!

Their looks.. they drive me (more) crazy

I'll tell you a funny story. When I went out to Dallas to try to get to Dr. Colin Ross, I put myself in the Charter Hospital in Plano, Texas. Dr. Ross's staff told me he was setting up a pilot program for dissociative disorders there. I thought he would be involved in the therapy. Bad mistake.

But one day I was in group therapy with women who had a positive dissociative diagnosis. One of the women started crying because her insurance was running out and she would have to go back home. I asked her what the problem was with that. She said that her father and husband did not see anything wrong. She was afraid that she would forget about her alters. She was crying and it made me cry because I understand the loneliness and isolation. The women fell in love with me because of my male weakness.

A couple of days later they invited me up to the second floor where they lived to go to a birthday party for one of the women. She was my age and had five college degrees. She only remembered getting two of them!

So I went to the birthday party. They had crape paper and balloons taped around the walls. They had every candy that you could name along with soda pops. I got to talk to the ladies about their experiences with DID. I enjoyed it extremely. This was the first birthday that this personality was out for this woman. She would always switch into a child personality at most birthday parties.

The next day we were in group therapy in the same room. They had not taken down the crape paper or the balloons. One of the women came into the room in a child personality. She could not sit still. The therapist asked her who she was. Then the therapist said: "The child's name and said we are in a serious discussion now so-and-so, you need to sit down and try to pay attention." The woman who was older reached above her head and started playfully knocking the balloon over her head back and forth.

Two of the women were seriously DID. The therapist ask these women to share their experiences. It was horrible stories of the abuses that they went though as toddlers and then later wives who married abusive husbands. It was heart wrenching.

Meanwhile the other woman in the child personality kept playing with the balloon. During the intense emotional stuff going on with the therapy the balloon popped. I leapt out of my chair. The two seriously DID women went catatonic. All the other women were crying. It was the best proof of the validity of DID that I have ever seen.

I went up to Dallas probably 11 or 12 years ago now... I had just been diagnosed DID. My pdoc at the time said the next time I needed to go IP, she wanted me to go up to Timberlawn, and get on the trauma unit there.

I was there for 11 days I think, and there were 3 others with DID diagnoses. Because there were several of us, Dr. Ross came to the hospital and did one of the group sessions, and spoke to each of us diagnosed with DID in an individual session.

I only really remember parts of that stay, but it was one of the most beneficial IP stays I've ever had.

Puck