[zoiecat]

Has anyone experienced a Memory of Abuse where the first half you ate in your body and feeling the physical feelings you did at that time, but as the memory progresses to a worse part you switch to viewing it from outside of your body and you pretty much lose the physical sensations? I am wondering if that was the moment i split or dissociated as a kid or if my current memory system is just a bit off and not ready to go all the way there.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by zoiecat

Has anyone experienced a Memory of Abuse where the first half you ate in your body and feeling the physical feelings you did at that time, but as the memory progresses to a worse part you switch to viewing it from outside of your body and you pretty much lose the physical sensations? I am wondering if that was the moment i split or dissociated as a kid or if my current memory system is just a bit off and not ready to go all the way there.

here where I am located this is a common dissociation symptom called depersonalization, that comes with many different normal, mental and physical health problems....

examples someone who is sleep deprived will feel this, someone who has PTSD will feel this, someone who has depression will feel this and people who have various dissociation disorders, or any other mental disorder will have this problem.

my suggestion is to contact your treatment provider, they will be able to tell you whether this is dissociation on a normal, mental or physical health level and how to best treat it.

[ACrystalGem]

Originally Posted by zoiecat

Has anyone experienced a Memory of Abuse where the first half you ate in your body and feeling the physical feelings you did at that time, but as the memory progresses to a worse part you switch to viewing it from outside of your body and you pretty much lose the physical sensations? I am wondering if that was the moment i split or dissociated as a kid or if my current memory system is just a bit off and not ready to go all the way there.

Yup, I've had that 'leaving my body dissociation', both during the child abuse and later during a hospital incident. I suppose we can only deal with so much - when it gets too awful, we check out and someone else takes over or we move ourselves to a safer place (for me, it was often on the ceiling). I have lots of memories of people coming inside my room, the door shutting and then everything goes black.
You're not alone with this.

yes, quiite a lot- not too much these days, it has gotten better.

[elevatedsoul]

yeah...
the few memories i have are third person...

[anais_anais]

Yes, like elevatedsoul- they did not happen to me, they happened to her.

That is starting to change, slowly.

[zoiecat]

I what confuses me the most is that the one memory changes half way through. It starts with me being on my body but changesvhalf way through to me being an observer. I do however have violent muscle spasms currently when i relive the second half (observed) part of the memory. I just dont feel the physical sensation in my body like i do durimg the first half of the memory.

Originally Posted by zoiecat

I what confuses me the most is that the one memory changes half way through. It starts with me being on my body but changesvhalf way through to me being an observer. I do however have violent muscle spasms currently when i relive the second half (observed) part of the memory. I just dont feel the physical sensation in my body like i do durimg the first half of the memory.

I do that in real time....but also...memory may start in first person then zoom out like I'm watching a stranger which I take to having switched midmoment then recorded as such because there is like total disconnect.

[dlantern]

I would probably say yea assuming you have DID dx viewing from the outside as those instances happen symbolic of splitting could be how first one got here. I'm actually working on understanding this for my system working on our clues. It's been a long road final about to understand that from the research floating from the ceiling a few feet away in a room as in inner world is finally opening up for us.

[Shadow13]

My experiences with this have been numerous. Mostly in my childhood I stayed in the corner of the ceiling, sometimes I'm just sitting on my own shoulder, or peeking over. I have often disappeared and become more like my surroundings and invisible or even dead-like.
Love you all, and a huge hug

[dlantern]

I think the premise here is when you really unpack it is when someone is outside of you bed, if it on the ceiling at the end of the bed on the side of bed and it is happening to someone else. I take this example to the mind/brain it is a no wonder why that is not you that is experiencing is like that space not in the bed where the abuse occurred is symbolic of being in the mind burred away someone where. The space the buffer of what ever keeps it . I like to say what is in the brain membranes flesh skin to lighten up the mood what we are going to call the amnesia walls. It totally make sense what if those abusive moments where only like 5 minutes 10 minutes what would we especially if your extremely fragment got alot of crap to get passed to get to the trauma ones.

If i had a artist create a rendition of those in those rooms house whatever it consist of you can take it three or fours alters in the areas. I'm not saying can you externally create that inside your mind or outside. I think you can have an artist draw it probably a talented artist that would include several florid alters in their homes . I think you can understand because sometimes alters get like this order I know such and such is in this home because they are related.