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#301
I’m always tired...wake-up at 3 a.m. usually with the mind dreaming, sometimes part of sometimes not...petting Cleo...dreams are weird and anxious...get up to clear the head, then try to sleep. Beep beep beep goes the alarm clock.
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#302
Upset, last night kid runs out of room freaking out startling/triggering us over nothing. Angry One comes and yells at boy in our apt. Neighbors look at me weird. Angry One too loud. Wish we were alone. Nobody understands, kid don’t care making Angry One madder. Thinks we have to move. Need to kick kid out.
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Guest
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#303
So tired, so mentally tired. I wanna new drug, one that works. Or boost my prozac by double.
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Guest
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#304
I am feeling extremely nautious.
I've been feeling like it since yesterday, but I can't get any relief from it. not yet anyway I have also had bad back pain yesterday which seems to have cleared up. also had 1 seizure (also yesterday) today I am also feeling quite depressed- bordering on suicidal thoughts, you want to know the only thing that's stopping me from actually reacting? if I get up, I'm going to throw up everywhere (maybe) well okay, maybe I'm not that suicidal- maybe I don't want to kill myself, but
Possible trigger:
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Anonymous48690, Laurel1562
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Member
Member Since May 2018
Location: Blue Springs
Posts: 65
5 114 hugs
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#305
Another day of obsession and questioning. I hate how this thing is taking over my life, yet...yet...
I've been undergoing EMDR therapy for childhood trauma for months now. A few weeks ago, I found myself unable to talk for myself and discovered I had an alter named Billy. This revelation has thrown me into a tizzy and I am looking at myself and my life differently now. So many things make sense now. My therapist has told me I have DD-NOS, which I now know is currently called OSDD, but in my reading, it looks like I may actually have DID. I am no longer sure I want to delve into my background trauma. Why rock the boat? Cat's out of the bag and ain't going back in. __________________ DID, Bipolar, ADHD, Me, myself and I! Lamictal 200mg |
Amyjay
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
7 692 hugs
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#306
Quote:
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Laurel1562
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
7 692 hugs
given |
#307
I have therapy in the morning. I am very ambivalent about going. Last time we sat unable to talk, silenced by ?????? someone? Something?? It was awful. T was unable to help. At one point we were able to push forward enough to say "We are stuck, we can't talk, please help". T said "Hmmmm, you feel stuck." Then nothing. Silence. For the rest of the session.
We wanted her to help get us grounded, that is what she is supposed to do when her trauma clients get stuck in hypoarousal!! I am worried that tomorrow that same issue will make us get stuck again, and she again will just sit with us in silence while we are stuck there. |
Laurel1562
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#308
yesterday I felt extremely nautious. it was horrible (it's one of the worst feelings ever)
it's gone today though just feeling blah, not really feeling anything
Possible trigger:
not really any reason to be I can see |
Amyjay, Anonymous48690
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 691
12 314 hugs
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#309
It's been a long time since I've posted on this site.I think it's been since early 2012.Things have really changed since then.I didn't think it would ever happen and it wasn't the plan but full integration occurred.It was a slow and gradual process. I'm glad I stayed in therapy and trusted my therapist.
It's good to be back here. |
Anonymous48690
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#310
Everything is becoming a blur....it’s like everyone’s changing, becoming something other then what has been set and established...
Maybe it’s being tired for I haven’t been sleeping well plus the summer heat.... But it just doesn’t seem like the guys haven’t been themselves lately for some of the fems have been fronting on the job Just wish that all this will just end. Cue water works |
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#311
I can tell that we are having another emotional type breakdown....we are crashing. Trying hard to not cry...but seeing double and the eyes are wet.
Going to shower, got to change out....so I can just disappear. |
Amyjay
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Guest
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#312
Tuesday our little doggie goes open mouth surgery. I hope she okay
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Guest
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#313
Cleo’s out of hospital and vet says she’ll be doing better then before. Littles been worried, but it’s all good now.
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Amyjay
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Amyjay
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
7 692 hugs
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#314
So glad Cleo is okay. I hope you all feel more settled soon AlwaysChanging.
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Guest
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#315
Feeling stressed and lethargic. Still weird feeling...many flashbacks to moments of childhood happiness...can feel the carefree and happiness of innocence. Sigh
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Guest
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#316
Ugh. Due to the nature of our job...we are working a 14 day spread. It’s day 6, thank God time flies in our head, lol. Mentally, I think that we are back on track. Surprises: I hate surprises...just a normal flow of routine with no unexpected triggers.
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Laurel1562
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Junior Member
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 16
5 |
#317
Sb has been quiet recently
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Anonymous48690
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Guest
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#318
just blah, blah, and blah, I guess.
very difficult week with very little to enjoy or look forward to wishing for better times, but not sure at the moment what they'd consist of (really not well) |
Anonymous48690, Laurel1562
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Elder
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,037
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#319
I've been having a lot more time loss lately. Also was IP and one of the insiders flat out snapped at the pdoc we had in there. We hadn't disclosed the DID when we were in admissions this time, cuz ww were pretty out of it so this pdoc didn't know. He lost his temper at Webb saying "typical borderline" crap and that we were being manipulative. We disclosed the DID the next day when we were more lucid and he understood better. He also realized that some of our behavior while we were there could have been dissociative also.
Lesson to us, always tell the professionals about the DID. __________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain |
Anonymous48690, Laurel1562
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Member
Member Since May 2018
Location: Blue Springs
Posts: 65
5 114 hugs
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#320
So many little voices crying out to be heard this morning and they wouldn't shut up. I yelled (inside) for Billy 1 to help me out, but he, being a typical teenager, was sleeping. Well, he finally woke up at 11 and made them all shut up! Phew! Billy!
__________________ DID, Bipolar, ADHD, Me, myself and I! Lamictal 200mg |
Anonymous32451, Anonymous48690
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Closed Thread |
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