I hate today.

short of it is:

today in the UK is father's day, and I never met my dad- so it's always hard today.

not affecting me as much as previous years though, think I can put that down to being on the upswing.

but it's still difficult regardless

We spent Sunday getting the boys car towed to a garage, then he left with his friends for the day. Didn’t call our father mainly because he is the reason why we type on this page.

feeling mostly good today (even if a little bored)

difficult night yesterday though- issues with flashbacks and later on in the night a few mini seizures.

but quiet day today. staying inside- I need to get food for tonight... that's it.

weather is hot though, urg. I have the windows open though so should be okay

Life is itchy. Thanks IPL to my legs. I have red rectangular puffy marks on my leg like a zebra for a week now.

started off quite stable......

now quite switchy

just lost an hour, or part of an hour, or...... I don't really know

[Laurel1562]

You know, I didn't put it together till now, that 2 nights ago when I had flashbacks of fear of my father, that it was father's day! klonopin ftw.

Eliminated most of the ugly off my FB feed. I’m so sick of hearing it on my t.v.
that I watch old reruns during the news hours.

AC2... I thought you'd quit facebook anyway

or maybe I read your other post wrong.

or looked too far in to it..

Originally Posted by Laurel1562

You know, I didn't put it together till now, that 2 nights ago when I had flashbacks of fear of my father, that it was father's day! klonopin ftw.

smileyface

I'm blonde and that's something I'd totally do even without the meds

okay day so far and feeling present

no flashbacks last night too, but did fail to get any rest which sucks a bit

Originally Posted by raging vortex

AC2... I thought you'd quit facebook anyway

or maybe I read your other post wrong.

or looked too far in to it..

Yeah...uh...I quit all the news and political crap. I got a few bipolar and DID groups I check in on.

Last night I slept like crap. Parts kept talking and upset over buying a new car, interrupting my dreaming and keeping me awake.

I swear, they can’t enjoy anything for what it is. Fear of commitment, what if’s, feelings of unworthiness, panic: please give me a break already.

It’s a good thing, it means that we can and have matured as a group...or at least some of us has.

on wednesday evening I think it was (yeah, wednesday evening), I had a really rough time with flashbacks and memories. it was my fault, I guess, I should have known when to stop, but it was a hard night and I felt trapped.

yesterday was just a blah day... " yeah, I'm here, I'm alive, so what?" that kind of thing.

today is slightly better, and I did manage to get out for a bit this morning to the park while my anxiety is on a good level

anxiety quite high today (over some financial stuff), depression quite bad too
managed to read some more of my book.. that's it so far

Kinda dismayed at the little, rectangular and red use to be burn marks now hyperpigmentation covering my entire body in rows like a checker board. We set the IPL on high on a good drinking night and zapped away. So much for wearing shorts outside in the daytime (I wish it was winter).

[TrailRunner14]

Today I want to run away.

Just get in the car and leave.

I have no idea where I would go.

Away!!

having a tough time of it this afternoon/ evening

so had a seizure this afternoon (which was completely unexpected, I was feeling just fine), and now... now I'm struggling with ****ing flashbacks!. I posted a thread about it.... check it out...

Bought a 2017 impala, a real nice car with leather interior. Now I’m covered head to toe with drywall dust and caulk and texture and crap and ain’t setting a foot behind the wheel.

Now I remember why I wanted a work truck- why couldn’t I remember what and why I really wanted....not this car, and I keep hearing we tried to tell you so...wha???

Why do I feel like my brain is imagining this for? No one tried. I was bamboozled and tricked.

Anyways, luckily I’m in the company van at my apt complex so that I can shower first then go get it.

I’m still going to have to buy a truck to work in. So much for practicality.

so yesterday night was rough.

not as rough as I braced myself for (but best to be prepared), but things were still rough.

family annoying this morning on email, just trying to ignore their pointless threats though

quiet day with the acception of cooking my dinner later

tummy ache too

not sure where it's coming from.. I mean no obvious causes like overeating