Headaches

A part of me came forward two weeks ago. It's not really a new part, it's been there, but silent as far as being heard.

It was originally attached to Compliance, but Compliance was unburdened from it a few months ago. Since then that part had been silent.

The feeling from it of wanting to be known and acknowledged grew stronger.

I acknowledged it two weeks ago with my counselor. I had to share it with him on a card for him to read silently. I could not share it verbally but I needed for it to be there and be known.

I remember that night that I had a headache as it was acknowledged. We talked about it, generally, this past Wednesday and I got another headache.

I've been trying to journal what I feel from that part and I get the same headache. Along with it, is this weird feeling that there is more there, that I can't "get to" and the more I try to "hear it" the worse my head hurts.

Has anyone else experienced this?

If so, how did you work through listening to it without feeling like your head was going to split open?

Hey there I have experienced headaches with some parts of me coming forward too .have you tried asking inside if anyone knows anything about them or why you are having them? Sometimes that helps me figure something out.

Thank you!

It just hurts. When I try to lean that way, that part of me shrinks back.

Detached attachment is what I believe fuels it.

That part wants to be heard and felt. It wants comfort and relief. It's afraid it will be pushed away and not be known. It's afraid to put it's feelings out there. It's not safe. It never has been.

I want to show it that it is safe.

I just need to connect with it/her without it hurting me so badly.

I get very frequent headaches from parts. Either coming forward (those are the worst ones) or being in distress. I think the common denominator is their wanting to be heard from behind some dissociative barrier.

I could write your words! I know exactly how that feels. I have a part that came forward initially about a month ago. He has the habit of getting a point across by giving me stabbing feelings in my chest. I don’t think it’s intentional. Right now it’s the only way he knows how to be heard. He is talking to one of the others a little bit, whose trying to convince him to talk to me instead of putting out so much pain. ((((Hugs)))) <—for you and yours.

Compliance has been thinking about what you said, "He is talking to one of the others a little bit, whose trying to convince him to talk to me instead of putting out so much pain. "

Thank you!

Compliance felt relieved that she was unburdened from this part, but there is compassion for her to not feel left and alone.

Yes.

Thank you!

The advice to ask other parts about what they know about the new part has also been helpful for me.

Another thing you might try is allowing the "headache" part to draw how they feel. Not necessarily a picture of something specific, it can be just color with the colors that express the feelings.

Or, what about using a cold pack/heating pad to bring comfort to that part, to let it know that you will be kind and supportive and you want to help with the pain.

Or directly ask that part what you can do to help it feel better.

In my experience, those terribly hurting parts really want to be heard, comforted, taken care of. They are very young. Maybe cuddling a stuffed animal?

Thank you kecanoe. The thought of drawing was there but I really didn't know where to go with it.

The color idea put a different perspective on it.

About the only time that I get headaches myself is when I try to cross the barrier and access that parts mind... to try to make it my own, I'm often met with solid resistance and can never do so. . Is it brain strain? Maybe so. Just to avoid that head pain, I just quit trying and let it go so that it would maybe voluntarily share without me prying to take a peek. The underlying truth is that I want to meld...integrate...become one to have a singular whole personality...and trying to use force to hopefully.....it worked. It usually just leaves me frustrated and hurting to have this mental veil that I can feel but not reach beyond....so incomplete and denied.

What you said sounds very real to me.

The crossing the barrier part. I feel like it's resistance also.

Thank you. I am going to keep that in mind and it makes much sense.