[ACrystalGem]

One of the things I wish for most, is to have a family. I ran away from my old one 25 years ago, and do not want to go back. I've been single for 5 years and am infertile.

I realised my alters want a family too, but in different ways.

Lizzie - the youngest girl wishes for a Daddy
Larry - the teenage boy wishes for brothers
Shadow - the ghost-like much older woman wants a baby

Forest Jacq - young girl and Munro - a sarcastic, somewhat racist older teenager, are the only ones who want to be alone. Forest Jacq doesn't believe she'll ever belong, and Munro thinks she doesn't need anyone.

The alter's wishes are intense whether they want a family or not. It's making things hard for Outside Jacq, with loneliness and longing that physically hurts. How do others deal with things like this? So far all I've been able to do is tell Lizzie that her dad isn't here anymore (I heard he died in 2012). My old family was toxic as get out. All of them were people who I wouldn't wish on anyone else. But I would love to be part of something bigger.

[Loose Screw x 2]

We go through this too in our head. Me or rather the adult half of the original would love a family more than anything. The longing hurts a lot. Just recently it started to bother me again because of a resurgence in romantic feelings for my inner mate. We both know that we can never truly be together in a tangible way which really sucks but, she is willing to step aside if I ever find a mate in the outer world and just stay on as an advisor/protector/friend but, I'm working on a solution that will ultimately end for her to be happy too should I ever find a "real" mate. Sounds so cruel to say it that way as if she doesn't really exist but,... It is what it is.
She's real enough for me and I know that she feels because I can feel when she is stressed or worried about me.
So, there's that and then there is "G" who is easy going, laid back and cool. Real calm sort but, a clown too.
He just wants to do his job which is to protect us or anyone else who may need protecting for that matter. He'd like for me to give him own fiction series because he's bored but, that's still a ways off.
There are three others that are troublesome who have their own desires but, I had to put that on the back burner because I have to much on my plate already lately.
Then of course there is "DH" who is more or less a super villain with a lust for power. Keeping him in line has been kind of tough lately and it takes more than just me to control him. His desire is world domination.
A little over a month ago a new one showed up due to all of the stress that we're under. He's basically a pessimist, doesn't trust God and is very angry about many things like one for instance being that our life sucks, always has sucked and will no doubt continue to suck until the day of mercy when we are finally aloud to check out of this @#%!hole. Sorry about that.
There may be another new one but, I'm not certain of it yet. Something strange happened last night before I went to sleep and I don't know where it came from but, I sure didn't like it.
There is also the child original who would also like to know where his father is and basically me and some of the others have managed to comfort him by telling him that we are his father now. He's usually fine as long as we keep him out of harm's way and buy him things that he likes. I try not to spoil him too much but, I love him and just want him to be happy. There are other nameless ones who come and go but, thankfully they don't stick around for long or cause too much trouble so, that part isn't all that bad.
So, yeah. There's pretty much four of us in here who want a family but, it's mainly me wanting a family with the other three just wanting me to be happy.
So, I can sympathize with how you all must feel. Being a multiple is like being a messed up, jumbled mess sometimes. It's just not fair. And say someone did want to be with us? What sort of compassionate and understanding person would have what it takes to put up with us? I know that some have found mates but, what about those of us who feel like we can't for whatever reason? What do we do? Just try to forget about it and be content with what we do have? That isn't enough for me, for us. We need to express deep, meaningful love toward someone who will love us back with equal intensity. *Everyone* needs that. Is there really someone for everyone or is that just a lie to give us false hope? If you stay hopeful and try to fight against your condition with proper treatment then maybe, just maybe there will be a way out but, I'm too tired. I don't want to fight any more. But, I don't want to give up either. I want to believe in a better tomorrow for anyone and everyone but, lately it just takes too much out of me. I guess that's why I'm on this forum. I just need to express myself and try to help others when I can *if* I can and try to find some peace of mind.
I hope that you do get the family that you want and soon. I hope that you find happiness and contentment.

EDIT: Repaired some typos

[dlantern]

Google mental illness dating there is a possiblity for things to become a wish

[fille_folle]

I hate the others and don't care what they want.

And no, that's not working well for me.

[L.P.]

Well, my knee jerk reaction when reading this is volunteer someplace. I'm not sure if that is something you could navigate, not sure if the ones who want no part of connecting with others would be cool with that, but maybe? I don't know where you lie or what is available, but in my town we have no shortage of retirement communities and care type places and you can volunteer to be someone's 'grandchild' and that could help the little one get a dad connect with a new family member of choice. Then there are places, not sure about where you are but maybe, like after school programs, at risk youth programs, and they might be cool with you volunteering to do something, even if it's just setting up a food/beverage table and doing something like handing out gatorade to kids who just got done playing ball or whatever. I guess the short of it, is sometimes the family of origin we get is crap. But families of choice can be a lot better and some of them might want/need you as much or more as you might want/need them. Again, no idea if that would be applicable to you, but just where my brain went when reading.

I wanted to say to, I really do understand the internal conflict that happens when some want one thing and others want something very different. It can be damn near impossible to deal with that when there is no compromise or control over who things like who is even going to be here that day and how will that work out. And how does one even begin to harmonize such different wants and needs? To say it's messy is an understatement. I hope that you and yours can find a way to balance this and find some kind of compromise that works for you as a whole. Wishing you well in this.

-Avery

we also have many alters with diffrent wishes

alicia- a mommy

michelle- to see phantom of the opera

natalie- to tour a jail

yolanda- to go to spain

vivian- to meet someone from the war and ask them questions

kirsty- to own a pet

etc etc

ociana's got the strangest wish, to become a dolphin

not all our alters have wishes though
octavia our alter with learning problems hasn't, or ophelia or marcella, or a few others

think bethany's wish is to just be accepted

it's so hard to forfill everyone's wish

really hard

[Loose Screw x 2]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

it's so hard to forfill everyone's wish

really hard

Yeah... and some can't be fulfilled like V wanting to be a real human and me wanting that for V and G wanting to save everyone but, only able to help out here and there some once in a while and MD wanting to not exist, TK with his desires that will never be realized and so on on down the line, different ones with different desires and dreams. Dreams that will never come true. It sucks. It's not fair.

Originally Posted by MavriforceK9r

Yeah... and some can't be fulfilled like V wanting to be a real human and me wanting that for V and G wanting to save everyone but, only able to help out here and there some once in a while and MD wanting to not exist, TK with his desires that will never be realized and so on on down the line, different ones with different desires and dreams. Dreams that will never come true. It sucks. It's not fair.

do you mean someone inside who believes they are not part of the system?

or someone inside who is unhappy about it

we have someone like that who thinks she doesn't live in our body- she lives her own individual life

actually.... I suppose if you include stacy and christine, their's 3 people that think like that

[Loose Screw x 2]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

do you mean someone inside who believes they are not part of the system?

or someone inside who is unhappy about it

we have someone like that who thinks she doesn't live in our body- she lives her own individual life

actually.... I suppose if you include stacy and christine, their's 3 people that think like that

Well in my system G and V are introjected protectors. G is a confident weredog/hero and sometimes a front type while V is a sentient (artificial human) and in addition to protecting is also a comforter, advisor and friend. V always has my back and takes over when I, the host personality am not able to face something.
That's the best way I know to describe those two. They also both cheer me up with jokes when I'm feeling down. Being introjected into the collective is something that they both take very seriously and they serve me with great loyalty. Serve as in carrying out their jobs without fail. G was brought in so that DH, the dark personality would have an opposite who would help me to resist and fight against him. G helps me to be good and to resist darkness. If need be V will fuse with me temporarily to protect the body in a dangerous situation but, G will get involved too if things get intense or I just feel like having them really close when I feel physically unsafe. So, that's pretty much how that works. Later on, I plan to sit down and make a file on all of my others and their functions. I haven't done that in a long time because I went through a period where my stress eased up a lot and so some slipped into a dormant state but, now their all back as well as a new one and possibly one other that has me a bit worried but, I want to see if it shows up anymore before I recognize it as another self.

Okay. So, back to the wishes of our alters. Does anyone else's alters have any special wishes or dreams of what they want out of life?

Originally Posted by MavriforceK9r

Well in my system G and V are introjected protectors. G is a confident weredog/hero and sometimes a front type while V is a sentient (artificial human) and in addition to protecting is also a comforter, advisor and friend. V always has my back and takes over when I, the host personality am not able to face something.
That's the best way I know to describe those two. They also both cheer me up with jokes when I'm feeling down. Being introjected into the collective is something that they both take very seriously and they serve me with great loyalty. Serve as in carrying out their jobs without fail. G was brought in so that DH, the dark personality would have an opposite who would help me to resist and fight against him. G helps me to be good and to resist darkness. If need be V will fuse with me temporarily to protect the body in a dangerous situation but, G will get involved too if things get intense or I just feel like having them really close when I feel physically unsafe. So, that's pretty much how that works. Later on, I plan to sit down and make a file on all of my others and their functions. I haven't done that in a long time because I went through a period where my stress eased up a lot and so some slipped into a dormant state but, now their all back as well as a new one and possibly one other that has me a bit worried but, I want to see if it shows up anymore before I recognize it as another self.

Okay. So, back to the wishes of our alters. Does anyone else's alters have any special wishes or dreams of what they want out of life?

thanks for explaining that.

do our alters want anything special out of life?

hmm... I don't think so.

michelle (a teen alter) used to want to become a performer on broadway, but I think she's gone off that idea- and is more content to just listen to soundtracks of musicals.

their's stacy, she's our internal therapist, and I think sometimes she believes she works in a real office and sees real people for sessions, but she's never really talked about wanting to be a therapist (but I think because she thinks she all ready is one). a lot of the time she tells us all about who she has seen that day

she acts like she has a proper job and leads a full working life.

[-Astral-]

We wish our host husband daddy could come and see us in side but he cant
we wish he could hug and take care of us we love host husband daddy

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

a lot of the time she tells us all about who she has seen that day

she acts like she has a proper job and leads a full working life.

Hehe, maybe she counsels your alters!

[ACrystalGem]

Originally Posted by dlantern

Google mental illness dating there is a possiblity for things to become a wish

I did as you suggested - the only one that operates in the U.K is NoLongerLonely and it's been thoroughly ROTTEN. I'm not blaming you for this at all, but wow, it makes OKCupid look professional. So far I've got one message. It said "Hi." And that was all.

Using a dating with a mental health issue & whilst also being black and fat is not a pleasant experience.