[UglyDucky]

My T thinks I dissociate (not diagnosed w/DID). Several months ago, T said it was interesting that I don't dissociate when I'm talking in session. Then a week or two ago, T asked me why I look away when I'm talking? Hmmmm...At first I thought I avoid eye contact w/T when I talk bc it seems too intense and I don't want T to think I'm in a 'staring contest'. But the fact is, I always maintain eye contact w/everyone I talk to except T, so the 'intense' thing really doesn't hold true.

Has anyone here experienced dissociation while talking to their T? If so, do you recall what you said? What happens when the one who dissociates does it when talking? T asked me where I go when I dissociate. I said I don't go anywhere; it's dark, there are no people w/me, no one talking - it's like I'm in a sound proof, black room. It's not scary. I'm just not w/T for a short time.

This dissociation thing is frustrating for both of us, mainly bc I dissociate for just a minute or two at a time, but I've missed enough of what T has said, that I need T to repeat what he said. Aarrgghh!

Any suggestions or thoughts would be appreciated!!

[Loose Screw x 2]

To my knowledge I haven't changed in the presence of my Therapist but, do look away from my doctor when describing shameful feelings or embarrassing or secretive stuff. My new T was asking me about other personalities last time I seenher and I was able to bring some of them up but, when I got to "V" I paused and had to take a deep breath and became figity and nervous. "V" is a well guarded secret that only my very best friends are aware of. V and I are very close and V doesn't come out much for personal reasons. I still need to do more reading but, if what you mean by the word "dissociate" is the same as switching then, I suppose you could say that I became my nervous and worrisome teenage self at that question. I endured a great deal of trauma as a teen and sometimes feel that I am still that person and when I'm in that frame of mind or way of thinking and percieving, I become very afraid and unconfident and worrisome. I always thought these experiences were just extreme mood swing but, according to my research it is tied in with DID but, there seem to be some here who think that I have no idea what I'm talking about and this is becoming very frustrating and triggering for me as a result. I don't know if this is just random doubt in some people or a coordinated attack to make me look like a lying jackass to the rest of the forum. Sorry for getting off topic. I'm just mixed up right now and don't know what to think.

[Amyjay]

I dissociate and switch multiple times per day because that is the nature of my dissociative system. Different alters deal with different aspects of my daily life. I always switch in therapy. T doesn't always know when this has happened. I never remember a full therapy session and hardly ever remember what we talked about last time. For the last couple of months my t has got me to audio record my session to help with associating and memory but what I find is I often switch when I listen to them at the places I switched when it was happening so I struggle to get new information from them anyway.
There are also times in therapy where I dissociate but don't switch. I stay as me but very floaty and unreal and disconnected from the room and from T. When that happens I often can't respond and T tries to get me back in the room by getting me to engage in grounding techniques. You could talk to your t about different grounding strategies she could help you try when you start to dissociate. They usually work for me but sometimes it takes a few minutes.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by MavriforceK9r

I always thought these experiences were just extreme mood swing but, according to my research it is tied in with DID but, there seem to be some here who think that I have no idea what I'm talking about and this is becoming very frustrating and triggering for me as a result. I don't know if this is just random doubt in some people or a coordinated attack to make me look like a lying jackass to the rest of the forum.

Hey Maverick, sorry you're experiencing this. It has happened to me here before too and it can be so triggering to be invalidated and unsupported like that. I have found the best way to deal with it is to go to your settings and put those people who repeatedly write triggering things on to ignore. That way you won't see their posts and they won't be able to any of your threads or comments. It really can help.

[kecanoe]

I dissociate in session all the time. Sometimes it is a switch, sometimes more of a depersonalization thing like Amjay described. Floaty and just not there.

When I switch, my Ts usually just ask who they are talking to, and sometimes want to know why. Or they will point it out to me (but this is after years of therapy, I am mostly co-conscious).

When I dissociate but don't switch, to me it feels like a "freeze" response. They talk about fight/fight/freeze responses to trauma, so that is where I get the language from. Disconnected is a good way to describe it. When that happens, sometimes I just need time to unfreeze, but at first, Ts would almost always help me do grounding things. T3 likes to tell me to look around the room, notice the colors and shapes, feel the chair.

I do have to ask T to repeat things. I usually cannot hear when I am in that state, or I can tell they are talking and sometimes even recognize the words but I am not able to put meaning with what I am hearing. Sometimes it is like the old Charlie Brown movies, where you would hear a teacher making weird sounds but you couldn't understand what they were saying.

[Loose Screw x 2]

Originally Posted by kecanoe

I dissociate in session all the time. Sometimes it is a switch, sometimes more of a depersonalization thing like Amjay described. Floaty and just not there.

When I switch, my Ts usually just ask who they are talking to, and sometimes want to know why. Or they will point it out to me (but this is after years of therapy, I am mostly co-conscious).

When I dissociate but don't switch, to me it feels like a "freeze" response. They talk about fight/fight/freeze responses to trauma, so that is where I get the language from. Disconnected is a good way to describe it. When that happens, sometimes I just need time to unfreeze, but at first, Ts would almost always help me do grounding things. T3 likes to tell me to look around the room, notice the colors and shapes, feel the chair.

I do have to ask T to repeat things. I usually cannot hear when I am in that state, or I can tell they are talking and sometimes even recognize the words but I am not able to put meaning with what I am hearing. Sometimes it is like the old Charlie Brown movies, where you would hear a teacher making weird sounds but you couldn't understand what they were saying.

Some of what you are saying makes sense to me, especially the last part about the teacher in Charlie Brown. I sometimes just drift off in thought or seem to loose focus on the here and now but, I've always thought this was something to do with ADD like day dreaming or staring out a window in class. Is this or a feeling of not being real associated with DID because I've had that too at times and recently like with in the last year or so, I sometimes feel like I'm moving up and down within my body as though my sould is trying to escape from my body. I thought it was just some physical thing but, now wonder if it's related to all of the stress I'm under.
Does any of what I have described sound familiar to you?

[RubyRae]

I don't think looking away from T while talking is a form of dissociation in itself.

I didn't make eye contact for the longest time because it made me feel too vulnerable.

[StuffandThat]

I have a problem with eye contact in general. Looking away from my T is the only way I can begin to talk to my T about difficult stuff. It's defiantly a fear of being vulnerable, I've always thought of the eyes being a window to the pain inside, and I really struggle with anyone seeing that.. I can't withstand closing my eyes in the presents of anyone but in session I want to hide my face, which I think is kind of contradictory but it's the way it is. Anyway sorry digressed.

I always dissociate in session, were now working on better grounding techniques and using flash cards to describe feelings when the session is finishing to make sure I'm going out in a safe headspace. I have the tendency of saying im okay when I'm not at all.. I guess its something you just get use to doing.

I'll also add I've not been diagnosed with DID.

[RubyRae]

Originally Posted by StuffandThat

I have a problem with eye contact in general. Looking away from my T is the only way I can begin to talk to my T about difficult stuff. It's defiantly a fear of being vulnerable, I've always thought of the eyes being a window to the pain inside, and I really struggle with anyone seeing that.. I can't withstand closing my eyes in the presents of anyone but in session I want to hide my face, which I think is kind of contradictory but it's the way it is. Anyway sorry digressed.

I always dissociate in session, were now working on better grounding techniques and using flash cards to describe feelings when the session is finishing to make sure I'm going out in a safe headspace. I have the tendency of saying im okay when I'm not at all.. I guess its something you just get use to doing.

I'll also add I've not been diagnosed with DID.

I have always thought the same about the eyes,as being a window to the soul.And there were times I did hide my face in sessions or turned my chair around while talking because I just couldn't bear how looking at my T made me feel.

I think it's a fairly common thing that happens to people in therapy,not making eye contact,regardless of what their diagnosis is.

I don't have DID either and have dissociated many times in sessions too.My T helped me ground myself when it happened and could always tell when I was doing it,even though I wasn't aware of it.

[dlantern]

Practice word association on the topic trying to get out before sessions. I guess the thing is once you get asked a question. If the problem is blanking out ..It may help you get thoughts feelings memories consistently in session.