so we post all the time about how we get annoyed when someone uses the body's name when talking to us, or they use the body's birthday rather than ours

recently we've been struggling with a new issue:. that issue being, being asked about the body, about the past, about their official information (bank details etc), about their life (not ours, the body's life), about all sorts of things.

the person who owns the body is never in control, and none of us feel okay about discussing that person behind their back (which may sound weird, but you get what we're saying)

some of us don't even know the relevant information... this information (or most of it), are for forms we have to fill out, so we really need to provide it, but yeah

it's not just a click and you have it type sinario

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

so we post all the time about how we get annoyed when someone uses the body's name when talking to us, or they use the body's birthday rather than ours

recently we've been struggling with a new issue:. that issue being, being asked about the body, about the past, about their official information (bank details etc), about their life (not ours, the body's life), about all sorts of things.

the person who owns the body is never in control, and none of us feel okay about discussing that person behind their back (which may sound weird, but you get what we're saying)

some of us don't even know the relevant information... this information (or most of it), are for forms we have to fill out, so we really need to provide it, but yeah

it's not just a click and you have it type sinario

with me when ever I got triggered by something the alter who's sense of agency it was to deal with those issues did....

example Hug - a - lot (just snatching a name out of the air here) handled money matters so if there was a question on a form about money hug a lot provided that info

Thelma handled answering the phone so she is the one that wrote the phone number on the form.

line in the sand my alters all had their own sense of agency and amount of co consciousness with me and the others. those that didnt still knew somehow when I was dissociated and that they needed to take control and do what ever their sense of agency was. Someone somewhere had the info needed whether or not they talked about me. Also since it was one whole body when they were answering questions about me and my life it was their life too. i mean its not like I could just leave Rainy at the neighbors house when I went to a movie or thelma leave me behind at home watching tv while she was out on a date. its all one body so what was ones life was also everyone elses life.

when Red was in school so were everyone else all one body, when rainy was sitting on the couch, so were everyone else.

also it isnt like i just became DID one day in college for a college assignment of doing a psych eval and enter therapy. I became DID before I was 5 years old due to extreme trauma. so whether I or the others liked it or not, our whole lives has been the alters answering questions, doing things, when a teacher asked a question in elementary school someone answered when I was dissociated, in college the same thing, at work the same thing, out with friends as a teen the same thing.... a whole life time of the alters taking control when ever I dissociated and doing what their sense of agency was...

my point is somehow some way there was always someone who would take control and do those forms, answer the questions.

maybe you can ask inside to find out how this situation has been handled all your whole life time since the very first alter creation. then you can ask inside to the appropriate alters for more help in doing these forms that you need to do, more help in answering questions....

[dlantern]

I'd just prep an alter to be comfortable with the amount etc of information that is given out at the bank. I think you all can write it down claim to be ill not talk that much or you can just send someone else

Originally Posted by dlantern

I'd just prep an alter to be comfortable with the amount etc of information that is given out at the bank. I think you all can write it down claim to be ill not talk that much or you can just send someone else

hopefully in time we're going to sort out a new host/ regular fronter. we do need a replacement person because the person who owns the body is litirally never here

it's like they died and just left all of us struggling for control

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

hopefully in time we're going to sort out a new host/ regular fronter. we do need a replacement person because the person who owns the body is litirally never here

it's like they died and just left all of us struggling for control

my alters believed that about me also. One even had an idea of what happened to me... someone must have taken a giant eraser and erased me out of existence, another had me still down in the mine shafts, another had me lost in a cavern, another had told my therapist that I must be in a grave somewhere..... so many interpretations on where I was....and why they felt I was gone forever....

then one my treatment providers explained to them that no one dies, or goes away permanently, cant be erased. couldnt be in some cavern or grave somewhere. that as long as the body lives everyone that lived inside the body is still alive. He also told them that, thats what DID was for.... to make sure that everyone (the body and everyone in it including the one who's name belongs to the body) survived.

then he explained what co consciousness was.... the knowing that others exist, sharing, being aware of whats going on inside the body at the same time knowing what is going on outside the body.

then he used a concept that they all could understand.... think about something they like, a favorite toy, clothing, its at home and out of the present moments sight you cant hold it right now, smell it right now, hear it right now but you know it exists. thats being co conscious, then he told them about something that he has in his home that they had no knowledge about, his hairless dog. none of them even had any idea that there was such a thing as a hairless dog, they have never seen one, heard one, touched one... had any involvement with one in any way. thats an example of not being co conscious.

his point was that because of this thing called co consciousness those that were not co conscious with me, they were not aware of my existence in the sense of my being alive, did not mean I died or left the body for ever. It just wasnt part of their abilities to know me and me know them. that i was still there, just outside their awareness/ not co conscious with them at this time. that some day as we all got better it may be time for them to know me and be with me.

I remember the first time one of my non coconscious alters realized I wasnt dead, lost or in a cavern or erased. my head was full of what the .... what the... who are you, where did you come from, why am I hearing you, you must be a new alter (my word not the alters, the alter had a different non postable word for it) right,.... it took many days for that voice to calm down, they thought they were being possessed by a dead spirit or something. my therapist was able to calm her down and get her to understand that having DID does not mean being possessed by ghosts and spirits and that if she was she would not have been DID.

my point is please dont worry about your alter or body person being gone, and needing a replacement. you are all there for a reason and if the body is alive (which if it were not you all would not be posting, someone has to be making fingers or what ever type right) anyway your body born is still there just you dont know where they are or feel anything from them. sometimes that can be scarey and feel like death but if the body is there for you to use the body born is still there somewhere. Someday that one born tot he body may surprise you like I did my alter. it just takes lots of time, many years and therapy to become co conscious with someone.