Our son moved back in and it’s got our system in another uproar. While he was gone we were peaceful, but now everybody is bitcing and cursing in a foul mood. He’s rude and lacks compassion for my mental illnesses.

Its so sad to be like this. I really try and then something stupid happens in which we look petty and outrageous like cleaning up messes, do his own dishes, working,....

Whats with todays kids? Entitled thinking I owe him and he aint moving out till he makes good money? What? When I graduated I couldn’t leave home fast enough.

He also triggers me on purpose for fun...getting us screaming- no good because we live in an apartment.

It makes us realize how mentally screwed we are with no hope no one caring as long as they get what they want.

[Shazerac]

I’m a little confused...why did you let him m move back in?

[Amyjay]

That sounds awful, AlwaysChanging. So hard when its your own child. Is he planning on staying for long?

Originally Posted by Shazerac

I’m a little confused...why did you let him m move back in?

He is our son. I’m also confused and what seems bad to one alter seems okay to another alter.

Consistency is not our finest trait.

He isn’t THE trigger- but he is a big fat thorn in our collective’s side. Lol.

I think he triggers the borderline in us....never considered that....something worth noting.

Originally Posted by Amyjay

That sounds awful, AlwaysChanging. So hard when its your own child. Is he planning on staying for long?

God I don’t know. We tried to get him his own place with me co-signing, but he hasn’t started school yet as a full time student and just changed jobs. It was okay when he was working nights- never saw him...but now we collide.

Everyday I try to reset...then bam I get triggered.

It just needs to be me and our Cleo...someday one day peace.

[RubyRae]

Sadly,AlwaysChanging2,I can relate to what you're going through.I allowed my adult son to move back in about 5 months ago and I have been really triggered so many times since(PTSD).

It's very hard having a child living with me when he is an adult,it just doesn't work and I am trying to push him back out on his own.Again.He currently has no job and no where to go and I can't afford to rent a place for him and pay his bills every month(which I have done in the past).He 'says' he is trying to get on his feet and will move out once he does yet hasn't been applying for jobs.He is just kind of stuck here for now and I feel like I am stuck too.

unfortunately where I live there's a thing called squatters rights and trying to have the police remove him from my home does no good since this is considered his residence.

I love my son but once he does move out I will have to stand firm and say no next time he wants to stay in my home for a few days or a week or two(he always says it will only be that long).I have said never again each time but when it's your kid and they have no where to go it's always so hard to not let them.

Don't beat yourself up over this.I assume it's a difficult thing even for parents that don't have a mental illness.I understand though,I beat myself up every time I lose my temper with my son and rant and rave at him to pick up after himself,do his own dishes,etc.But dang,it sucks for an adult to expect for me to do everything just like when he was little.

He triggers me purposely too and tells me I am just crazy and over-react because I have PTSD.

It looks like both of us need to stand strong and put our own needs and our own mental health first and let them figure things out on their own.It used to be that kids looked forward to moving out and being on their own but now a lot of them expect to get a free ride indefinitely.I don't understand it.

The ironic thing is my son tells me he hates living here when he's mad and threatens to leave.I tell him please do.

[Amyjay]

That is really tough, RubyRae.

Originally Posted by RubyRae

Sadly,AlwaysChanging2,I can relate to what you're going through.I allowed my adult son to move back in about 5 months ago and I have been really triggered so many times since(PTSD).

It's very hard having a child living with me when he is an adult,it just doesn't work and I am trying to push him back out on his own.Again.He currently has no job and no where to go and I can't afford to rent a place for him and pay his bills every month(which I have done in the past).He 'says' he is trying to get on his feet and will move out once he does yet hasn't been applying for jobs.He is just kind of stuck here for now and I feel like I am stuck too.

unfortunately where I live there's a thing called squatters rights and trying to have the police remove him from my home does no good since this is considered his residence.

I love my son but once he does move out I will have to stand firm and say no next time he wants to stay in my home for a few days or a week or two(he always says it will only be that long).I have said never again each time but when it's your kid and they have no where to go it's always so hard to not let them.

Don't beat yourself up over this.I assume it's a difficult thing even for parents that don't have a mental illness.I understand though,I beat myself up every time I lose my temper with my son and rant and rave at him to pick up after himself,do his own dishes,etc.But dang,it sucks for an adult to expect for me to do everything just like when he was little.

He triggers me purposely too and tells me I am just crazy and over-react because I have PTSD.

It looks like both of us need to stand strong and put our own needs and our own mental health first and let them figure things out on their own.It used to be that kids looked forward to moving out and being on their own but now a lot of them expect to get a free ride indefinitely.I don't understand it.

The ironic thing is my son tells me he hates living here when he's mad and threatens to leave.I tell him please do.

Exactly this. I can’t help feel taken advantage of...

It time for them to step up and become their own persons. Now since he’s here, he has no real urgency to get his life together and free float because all his friends live with their parents forever, so why not me?

I’m more concerned about my head and staying alive and taking care of my mother then holding the hand of an able bodied man child.
It’s brewing and I can feel it comin on. At least my kid works, but he says 39 hours a week is all he going to work and it’s not enough to move out and live on.
He needs to live with me till he makes as much as I do. What? It took 35 years of experience to finally make $18.oo/hr working 50-60 hours a week.

Then he hangs out with his girlfriend. They laugh and giggle which makes my blood boil....triggering the Angry One.

It’s going to happen, soon.