I’ve done it before, shut the door on this mode of existence by avoiding looking in...changinging everything to suit one type of lifestyle...become absorbed by things not of this immediate mental condition...let all present beliefs and knowledge fade off into the darkness...fighting against all inner urges and impulses keeping a singular mindset.....forgetting all of this, to stay this mental obsession of self...to once again to just become a tumbleweed in the desert plain of life...buffetted and blown by the daily happenings and letting the chips fall where they may...doing volunteer work off hours....staying out of my own head...fill up my free thinking time with a hobby or events....staying distracted of self till the forgetter is fully engaged.

Or has it been now been fully exposed where the door can now not ever be shut...a blistering eyesore of obvious burning in the back of my mind...

Ignorance is bliss...or was it hell? I forget...at least I would be free of this pinnacle before me...just to go around and around blindly.

If I can’t fix it, I most certainly can ignore it....deleting all vehicles of self-centeredness, focusing projecting outward, literally boxing all reminders and effects putting them on a shelf to be forgotten (throwing them out never works because it’ll be bought again :/ )

It only takes a little time for us to forget that it just becomes a forgotten dream that quickly fades away...

Can the blind that saw go blind again?

It sounds like changing my M.O. is once again a possibility. At least I was living instead of waiting- for what?

This has to be an internal and universal commitment under agreement of such for this to take place like before eons ago....

Just thinking and planning of such....hoping....or am I kidding myself and it’s too late.

Idk....but I am willing to try.

Sounds like work.

[zoiecat]

I was able to do it for a few weeks (for the most part) by constantly practicing mindfulness and trying very hard to be present. It lasted almost 4 weeks.

At least I know I can do it now. I decided to stop because I felt like such an empty shell. I could not remember a thing. I would be mid sentence and totally forget what I was saying. Also one of the littles decided to take over driving and then freaking in the middle of an intersection.

I was semi successful.

Yes, I guess once you know....

Yes...we totally forgot that we were going to try, or at least he did. Lol

[Fuzzybear]