In the shower we were discussing nail polish and that any mature female would know that it is better to not wear any for the sake of system safety from aggression and conflict.

So we narrowed it down to the teens....Then a young alter Karen said that it wasn’t fair that we weren’t like other ‘normal” multiples where we can have longer out times with less alters.

Now we are jealous of other multiples.

Then the idea of integrating the lesser parts came up to minimize the clutter to a certain amount of alters- customizing your system so to speak.

Can you “pimp” your system?

(Ever seen the show “Pimp Your Ride” (for clarity sake)?)

Sometimes I just can’t believe the stuff that I hear in my head.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

In the shower we were discussing nail polish and that any mature female would know that it is better to not wear any for the sake of system safety from aggression and conflict.

So we narrowed it down to the teens....Then a young alter Karen said that it wasn’t fair that we weren’t like other ‘normal” multiples where we can have longer out times with less alters.

Now we are jealous of other multiples.

Then the idea of integrating the lesser parts came up to minimize the clutter to a certain amount of alters- customizing your system so to speak.

Can you “pimp” your system?

(Ever seen the show “Pimp Your Ride” (for clarity sake)?)

great idea

that said I don't think you can customize DID systems. its one of these situations where each persons system is exactly the way it should be in order to survive. for some reason while you were going through all the trauma's that you went through you ended up with what you have, that helped you to survive, grow up to be who and what you all are now.

that said some peoples systems are the kind that my location calls evolving, where there are alters in the system who's sense of agency is to continue to learn and grow.

since you seem to have a great deal of co consciousness with each of your alters maybe you can find out if your system has these kinds of alters that can help everyone to get along better and get their needs and wants taken care of.

maybe you can pick a day where it doesnt matter whether you wear nail polish or not. by the way here in america even normal non mental disordered guys wear nail polish, color their hair, even skirts/ dresses with out any retribution from things like getting beat up, bullied or made fun of. here in america we have this equality movement things going on where being different is perfectly acceptable now, we have the metoo and others too.

we even have adults copying their facorite music and tv/ movie stars when it comes to dress codes and make up and nail polish....

my point.... i know someone who was afraid to let their opposite gender alters be what ever their sense of agency was but then decided to try something different and told their friends hey I saw this music video and decided to try this nail polish on for size what do you think... now his friends fully expect him to show up in dresses, skirts, picks, purples, make up, nail polish you name it.

another one of my points in todays world there is a way that will allow things for this to happen without fear of aggression. maybe you can start out with a bit of cos - play.... copying your favorite actors and actresses / music artists. then work your way into letting your alters be who and what they are.

just a few suggestions

[Amyjay]

Wanting to be able to experience more (time) seems like a legitimate want to me.
I don't think its an impossibility either. Alters can integrate. Our T suggested a couple clusters of our fragment parts could "move closer together", that is towards integrating in the future.

I think it would take a lot of internal communication and cooperation but could definitely be done.

Can I say that we are highly intelligent...but also air headed?

Our “intelligence” is alter related...but as a whole, we are an empty room with a 25 watt light bulb lolol

[Amyjay]

We are too. Intelligence testing was part of the multifaceted diagnostic process we went through last year and our IQ result was very high. I don't say that to brag at all because the score certainly isn't reflected in our life. There are a couple of parts that are very intellectual and I do believe they are very smart but there are other times when this people-body can't figure out how to say even the simplest grammatically correct sentence.

I do think intelligence was probably the defining characteristic that enabled us to be functional enough to live independently (have a home, maintain a job etc). When we went through the resiliency factors that play a part in determining the outcome of a traumatic childhood we had none of them (things like one supportive person, someone outside the family who listened to you, one person who believed in you) but I told the t the one thing we did have was that we were intelligent and we knew that what that family did to us was wrong. So we were able to not take on the crap they threw at us and take is as truth. We were able to see a picture that was much bigger than the one they wanted us to believe and keep some parts of ourself fully separate and protected from them.

I put that down to intelligence through and through. Most children believe whatever they are told before the age of six. They just take it in and make it a part of themselves. We remember looking at that family and assessing them as "wrong" as young as two years old. Of course for survival purposes we were completely dependent on them so had to have parts that played along with their wrongness for the sake of our immediate safety. But we sure as heck kept our self belief away from them and didn't let them get all of us!

I truly believe if we didn't have high intelligence we would not have been able to protect ourselves as well as we did and we would be far far less functional than we are.

How do you think high intelligence has helped you? And another question which you are welcome to not discuss if it is triggering for you - were your family members highly intelligent too?

Our parents were average...but we have a knack of seeing the correlation of relationships. We naturally understand the principles behind why anything does what they do which makes us good at troubleshooting machines, relationships, people, and life. I guess we learned to see behind the scene and are fairly accurate.

Getting lost in books and projects kept us not thinking about our abuse- an escape even though reading comprehension was a chore. We were able to academically surge within the rigor school walls of ritual and routine...but upon graduation, when those walls dissolved...we fell apart and drifted for ten years or so bouncing house to house, relationships, states living various types of life depending on the alter that was present at the time. We needed an institution...it took years for us to learn to build our own walls to function in...that’s why today we preach routines...that’s our walls to adhere to...no surprises and a schedule etched in stone. Anything other than that causes a breakdown and weirdness.

Now, it’s our ability to excel and rise to the top of any work environment in short time which pays better. It usually takes us a year to rise through the ranks of any business. This is also why we work 6 days a week: routine. Can’t get in much trouble with one day off, plus the money is a bonus. People don’t get that even if I tell them that, lol

[TrailRunner14]

Routine keeps me centered and on course too.

Thank you for posting this because I’ve not really thought about it. I’ve always liked a routine, knowing what’s coming, and I’ve considered myself a very habitual person.

Looking at it from this perspective, it makes a lot of sense internally.

When things get out of whack, routine wise, I experience not realness in different levels and time perception gets weird.

Just rambling.

Originally Posted by amandalouise

great idea

that said I don't think you can customize DID systems. its one of these situations where each persons system is exactly the way it should be in order to survive. for some reason while you were going through all the trauma's that you went through you ended up with what you have, that helped you to survive, grow up to be who and what you all are now.

that said some peoples systems are the kind that my location calls evolving, where there are alters in the system who's sense of agency is to continue to learn and grow.

since you seem to have a great deal of co consciousness with each of your alters maybe you can find out if your system has these kinds of alters that can help everyone to get along better and get their needs and wants taken care of.

maybe you can pick a day where it doesnt matter whether you wear nail polish or not. by the way here in america even normal non mental disordered guys wear nail polish, color their hair, even skirts/ dresses with out any retribution from things like getting beat up, bullied or made fun of. here in america we have this equality movement things going on where being different is perfectly acceptable now, we have the metoo and others too.

we even have adults copying their facorite music and tv/ movie stars when it comes to dress codes and make up and nail polish....

my point.... i know someone who was afraid to let their opposite gender alters be what ever their sense of agency was but then decided to try something different and told their friends hey I saw this music video and decided to try this nail polish on for size what do you think... now his friends fully expect him to show up in dresses, skirts, picks, purples, make up, nail polish you name it.

another one of my points in todays world there is a way that will allow things for this to happen without fear of aggression. maybe you can start out with a bit of cos - play.... copying your favorite actors and actresses / music artists. then work your way into letting your alters be who and what they are.

just a few suggestions

Yes thanks...but when you work construction...

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Yes thanks...but when you work construction...

Love it!

I’m trying to learn to accept living the type of life dealt me...with all it’s curiosities and oddities, and own it- so gotta quit beechen about it. Sure it’s embarrassing...but that’s on me. I need to learn how to deal with it and fight off any triggered adverse feelings about it...and put it back in the faces of my detractors. If I show that I’m bothered, then they got an edge....but if I can learn to not be bothered....or be ready to kick their ....