Much like how our father is....

But kid is thrown in jail several times, does drugs, lost his job, then whines and accuses because I don’t pat him on the back enough.

I feel like a failure as a parent and as a person.

The mean one tries helping by pointing out the screw up and b*****es about it, then it goes on and on...

Frustration solid.

Now he sneaks in, does whatever and leaves, and don’t come back till I’m gone...

I feel out of control.

Having just moved, totally out of routine, exhausted, very upset and out of balance, place is in Disorder, the wall clock keeps quit working, ready to ignite...

I just want to dissolve.

[Skeezyks]

[Calla lily12]

Any way you can ask some for co operation? Hugs if you want them.

[Amyjay]

That's a really hard one. I am sorry it is so hard for you. I don't know there are any answers.
We all do the best we can. I feel like a failure as a parent too. I know my kids have been adversely affected by our trauma. My parenting has been inconsistent at best, traumatizing at worst. They will have their own stuff to deal with.
You have done the best you can, are doing the best you can do with your lot. Your kid has to walk his own path and do the best he can do with his lot too. Cut yourself some slack, be kind and forgiving to you.