We are a functioning system: make a check, pay the bills. Beyond that....cuckoo.

I spend my day going about my business doing my job all the while wondering if other people heard me talking to myself, or saw an alter walk like she did before we caught her, guarding at best as much of what comes out of the mouth, Floating in my head in a daze spewing jokes or funnies, or watching my day like at the movies....always ready for damage control.

This is tiresome and takes a lot of energy in trying to appear....without questions....normal. Always on guard for out of characterness. Back tracking here, Bull shitting there, avoid apologizing, playing it off, it’s a job just having a job/career.

We excell at the task....but dealing with human organisims is quite the challenge trying to remember words, appearing confident, cordial, but also tough, edgy.... making all the switching between parts seamless and believable as a singleton.

For as difficult this sounds....we do this without thinking...we just do it, right? I mean it’s like a job of a coordinator/scheduler/manager/stage hand/a conductor.....

A daily job well done when no one suspects, gets mad, eyes you funny, no breakdowns, no fiascos, nothing expensive happened, everyone still smiles around you, not ostracized, accepted, no wish you were dead moments, no regrets, no embarrassments or self butt kickings,...

Hiding being a multiple is of the utmost importance to us....can’t see a life with people knowing.

One day there will be peace, but until then...this the usual.
Yes?

How do you manage living your day...or do you? Suggestions in approaches in getting by?

…. I don't even have a job, so you're one step ahead of us

for us, our daily life consists of sitting in a chair and eating, having flashbacks, posting on here and occasionally play a trivia game/ word game

it seems simple, right?

no it isn't...

most days we just float through them. if we remember what happens, and what we did, bonus

but most times we don't and before you know it weeks and months are just gone

looking back on it, I have no idea what we did for half of 2018

our biggist issue is people asking us... so what are your plans for today?

we don't make plans for the day, we have to stay present first, and that's a struggle as it is

Originally Posted by raging vortex

our biggist issue is people asking us... so what are your plans for today?

we don't make plans for the day, we have to stay present first, and that's a struggle as it is

I totally get this as a living in the present ...without consciously knowing about our condition....we adopted “what would we LIKE to do” or see happen as a goal.... nothing concrete and guaranteed, just a hope.

[Amyjay]

We have not been managing daily life so well until very recently when two strong but previously opposing hosts have joined forces. Their cooperation seems to have changed things a lot and we appear to be much more grounded, present and functional. It is early days yet and we are still discovering the ways this helps us, but we are very hopeful this path will lead us to a much more functional life.

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I totally get this as a living in the present ...without consciously knowing about our condition....we adopted “what would we LIKE to do” or see happen as a goal.... nothing concrete and guaranteed, just a hope.

I do see where you're coming from with that.

I think with us, the problem with making plans, (or one of them), is that we hate to fail

say we said

we're going to watch our soap opera after dinner, and then just forget the evening ever existed, we would feel so bad

that's why we take things as they come

Originally Posted by Amyjay

We have not been managing daily life so well until very recently when two strong but previously opposing hosts have joined forces. Their cooperation seems to have changed things a lot and we appear to be much more grounded, present and functional. It is early days yet and we are still discovering the ways this helps us, but we are very hopeful this path will lead us to a much more functional life.

That’s really good to hear, is their a plan or common goal in place that everyone chips in to?

Our goal is the survival of this body, because without, we are all toast.

Originally Posted by raging vortex

I do see where you're coming from with that.

I think with us, the problem with making plans, (or one of them), is that we hate to fail

say we said

we're going to watch our soap opera after dinner, and then just forget the evening ever existed, we would feel so bad

that's why we take things as they come

I don’t know, there is an innate desire to thrive in us, a need to win over obstacles as individuals and a group. I hate to fail, too.

I love taking on tasks that people say is impossible, and win proving everyone wrong in whatever we do....multitalented I suppose. When I hear the words ‘It can’t be done’...I do it. I guess being called a failure or put down for years cultivated this way of being.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

That’s really good to hear, is their a plan or common goal in place that everyone chips in to?

Our goal is the survival of this body, because without, we are all toast.

Our main therapy goal is that we want everyone to know the same things. We want everyone to know what's going on at all times and have the same information particularly about our abuse history.
And yes we are working closer to that all the time. One by one each alter is working through the denial and phobias that keep the dissociation in place. This front one that has just "joined us" (dropped her denial of us and the abuse) is a major life player so now we have a much greater percentage of our daily life time committed to and protective of self, healing and integrity.
This one is the game changer.