[Fuzzybear]

Hi everyone,

I really need all the help I can get.

How do you deal with abusers and *** holes who just won’t stop their sick and dysfunctional behaviour

I asked this question once before in the check in thread I think and someone sent me a helpful reply.

Any supportive (of me) replies are welcome. I hope it’s ok to post this here.

(Not about anyone on pc)

[Amyjay]

I do my best to not deal with them. As in I choose not to be with them talk to them engage them. I choose to be respectful to others and I choose to spend time and engage with people who are respectful to me.

Of course that only works for ME. Others in this system aren't quite there yet.
I think life is so short. So much of my life has involved being abused, being powerless against it, learning to accept it and live with it because I was unable to reject it.

I don't want the rest of my life to be like that. I am much much happier on my own than I am with aholes in my life. I want to keep on working towards that. I don't want to be with sick and dyfunctional people anymore.
So I choose not to deal with them, not to give them a voice or a place in my life anymore.

[TishaBuv]

Avoid and ignore them when you can.

I have had countless run-ins with A holes. I wish I did as I said above. Instead I jousted with them. But it always ended with me losing the relationship or accepting the mistreatment anyway.

When someone shows you they are an A hole, believe them. Know that whatever you do they will still be an A hole.

I’m not sure why this post is in Dissociative Disorders. I have only known the people in this forum to NOT be A holes!

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Avoid and ignore them when you can.

I have had countless run-ins with A holes. I wish I did as I said above. Instead I jousted with them. But it always ended with me losing the relationship or accepting the mistreatment anyway.

When someone shows you they are an A hole, believe them. Know that whatever you do they will still be an A hole.

I’m not sure why this post is in Dissociative Disorders. I have only known the people in this forum to NOT be A holes!

My post is here for that exact reason, the people here are NOT A holes so I was hoping for some helpful replies

Also as I explained, in my original post, I had asked the question in the check in thread and received a helpful reply. I’ve found the people here very helpful,

In contrast I’ve received more than a few knee jerk responses (at best) in another forum. It gets boring.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

I do my best to not deal with them. As in I choose not to be with them talk to them engage them. I choose to be respectful to others and I choose to spend time and engage with people who are respectful to me.

Of course that only works for ME. Others in this system aren't quite there yet.
I think life is so short. So much of my life has involved being abused, being powerless against it, learning to accept it and live with it because I was unable to reject it.

I don't want the rest of my life to be like that. I am much much happier on my own than I am with aholes in my life. I want to keep on working towards that. I don't want to be with sick and dyfunctional people anymore.
So I choose not to deal with them, not to give them a voice or a place in my life anymore.

Thanks for your reply

Assholes comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. For one thing...they all smell the same...so I always go like bye- you hold no value in my life...and walk away.

It is hard to do at times because situations are so intertwined...but I’ve also have learned to cut my losses and walk away....it’s like paying people to go away, take what you owe me or what you have of mine, keep it and disappear.

It’s cheaper in the long run. Moving has always worked. Not owning stuff or not putting too much into stuff makes this easy, too. Everything is of this Earth...dust to dust...it’s all borrowed anyways. Do we REALLY own anything? Even this body is on loan.

Materials are tools for enslavement. I’m not a real materialistic person...just damaged goods.

[Chez3]

That depends... can you punch them? And if so, would there be consequences? And if so, would those consequences be worth the punch?

[Fuzzybear]

I don’t like snakes. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Not about anyone here

[Gr3tta_0]

Do not engage.
Block phone numbers, emails, social media contacts. Delete all contacts for person. If more messages are received, continue to delete and block- do not respond no matter what. Do not read/listen as soon as you have identified the caller/sender.
Do not ever open your door. File a personal protection order/restraining order and report Every violation. Ignore completely in public places. Report harassment to management/security/police, as needed. Assert your right to be safe in your own home, and in public spaces.
Do not violate order yourself by calling, texting, emailing, messaging, or otherwise contacting abusers for Any Reason! If you feel a strong urge to do so, call a safe friend, or an on call service you are engaged with, or a crisis line for your area. This is a True Emergency. Treat it as such.
Longer term goal - work on building a network of safe friends. I am not so great at this myself. But, i would Far rather have 1 safe person to call on than 100 unsafe people.

[Fuzzybear]

I’d rather have one safe person to call than 100 unsafe persons too