A bit of a breakthrough

I was feeling very down last night, thinking about how lonely I am. I haven't had a partner since 2016, and I am definitely touch-starved. I've had many bad experiences using dating sites too, so it's not really an option for me. So while I was saying to myself,
"Who would want to be with me anyway? I've got mental health issues, I'm black, fat, genderqueer and bisexual. I've faced racism, Fatphobia & biphobia even in long-term relationships, as well as physical, sexual & emotional violence from most of my exes. I've got so many things going against me."
And then suddenly, a little voice spoke up: "But you've got 5 alters rooting for you!" And it was the most amazing thing. I'm sure the voice was the youngest alter, Lizzie/Little Jacq. She is usually pretty quiet, but the voice was so clear, and I felt it in my chest.
This has honestly given me a spark of hope, and I'm really glad about it.

Congratulations on your progress.

question did you ever discover why your alters call them selves alters?

just curious because none of my alternate personalities called their selves alters. mine never considered their selves to be alternate to anything or anyone, they functioned just like any other human being... they went shopping, they ate, they went to work, they did everything that other human beings did,...

in other words my alters sense of agency was that they thought of their self as human beings not just a personality that takes over for me. a substitute. they didnt think of their self as subbing/ substituting. they didnt even know they were part of me and came from my personality due to dissociation.

they thought they were human beings just like me, just like my neighbor down the street, my best friend and any other person..

so I get curious when ever I see posts saying their alters call them selves alters. I have trouble trying to figure out why they felt they were just an alternate personality instead of a fully functioning human being like mine.

Isn't it a great feeling when alters band together to protect and care for one another and look out for one another? I have a small group of alters who do that for us and it is such a good feeling to know they have always "got your back".
I am so glad you have Lizzie/Litte Jacq and the others with you!

wishing you well!

Sorry, my fault entirely. The instant translation in my head went from "You have five of us rooting for you," and turned into "You have five alters rooting for you."

You're adorable in my head so hah! But in all seriousness this is great. I don't think everyone realizes what a great support system being in a system is, especially when It's viewed as such a bad thing sometimes. So good for all of you for finding a silver lining. If you need any outside support then we're all here for you. I mean I'm as white as paper but in basically every other aspect I get where you're coming from.