Memory Integration

Our trauma therapy is causing memory integration. I don't want it. I don't want to know those things.

I'm having nightmares and hallucinating even worse.

Normally when I switch, I'm still somewhat co-conscious. Tonight I was completely gone for a bit. It scares me, especially because I've come to the realization that I'm possibly not the original person here. I always thought I was but I think I may have been wrong. I don't know if that makes sense or if I'm just going crazy again.

I'm feeling so alone. Even with the others here and people around me, I still feel so stranded. It's like no one can understand what I'm going through and I don't want them to. But damn this is lonely. I'm trapped in a nightmare and I don't see an escape.

Take a deep breath.
It sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed. Maybe the pace of therapy is too fast and its time to pull it back a bit and refocus on self-care and self-regulation. That's what we do when it gets too overwhelming. We pull it back and take a breather. We take the focus off the trauma and work on feeling grounded, safe and even-keeled again.
When do you see your T next?

((((Sò leigheas)))) I'm so sorry you're struggling so badly.

I see my T today, in twelve hours to be exact.

You're right, I'm probably overwhelmed. There's a lot going on including the trauma therapy.

My brain can't even seem to function properly. I'll try taking a step back.

Aw what a wonderful phase to intregrate, he done those things it relates to me and the alters. I'd just counter the protectors with what it will ultimately help with and please take care of the selves.