Someone wrote me this

Someone wrote me this on another forum. I am not mentioning what forum or a persons name so it shouldnt be a problem. Does this make sense to anyone?




When a child touches the stove against what's been told to them, and hurt themself, they learn a lesson. They will not touch it again, because bad thing happened because of it. If same thing happens inside a system in a fight between two parts, there's no learning. Sexual part wants to do something, but you know it's not right, they will hurt someone if they do that. Let's pretend they win the battle and you end up doing the wrong thing, like a child ended up touching that stove. Afterwards YOU feel bad because the bad thing happened, but your sexual part still feels the same. So they ended up learning nothing, and will do the same in the future too.

The fact you don't know what is the difference between these two things just tells it's normal to you, because you have been more than one person as long as you can remember. So you grew up thinking others experience same things than you do. But they do not, not people with one personality. It doesn't mean life and choices are easy to them. For example with addictions, conflict can be real. But when ever they end up continuing their addiction, it's a choice they made themself, against their better knowledge, they gave up and thought they'll do it anyway, for that moment. And the regret can be there instantly, and they can feel addiction is out of control. The point is, addiction can be what ever, but their body never was out of control. It never does anything they themself, with all the knowledge, made it do. No matter how easy it was to act on the addiction and how big the regret is afterwards, when they acted on it, it was their own decision they agreed with and when they regret it, it is also only one opinion about it. Their opinions can change, but that is not the same thing than having parts who never agreed.

With DID your body can do things against your will and you can not do a thing about it. Or you can be co-present and fight over the control of body. Or you can black out and find out later someone did something with your body. Doesn't happen to people with one personality. They are the only one physically moving their body, it can not happen without their own active choice. If they regret their doings afterwards, that is when they are not in a section 2 (acting on a decision) anymore, but in section 3, the aftermath.

People with one personality can have many kind of problems. Their ability to control their behavior can be lowered. Therefor they can react and do things before they ever got any choice to think about what are they gonna do and make decision, so their behavior is reactive, and they understand the consequences afterwards, but it's too late then. That certainly is a problem, but that is still a different problem. It's not what you have. You want and don't want something at the same time all the way when doing things or not doing them and having consequences or not having them.

Now the main thing. Your sexual part is a danger to everyone and everything around you. So instead of concentrating on nonsense, concentrate on healing that part. As long as you keep your denial about them being separate from you, you are not working to get communication with them. Communication and co-operation and healing traumas is how that problem is gonna be fixed.