[Rive1976]

If you and a mute alter are having differences with something how would you know it is from them or you? For example if I had a alter that wanted a candy bar and I didnt I may have some inner dialogue like Hey I want a candy bar then Me no I dont I dont like chocolate. If I had a mute alter how would I know that they wanted a candy bar and I didnt? They cant tell me.

[Amyjay]

Things to remember here are:
Alters are not other people. They are parts of yourself.
So ultimately it is all from you. Dissociative disorders just make the subjective experience of alters feel like they are -not- you. But they are part of you.
Go ahead and have the candy bar. And if you or another part of you doesn't want it, just put it down?
It doesn't really matter what part of you it comes from. It really doesn't.
At the end of the day, candy bars aren't really all that important. If an alter wants a candy bar but can't tell you they can just get one when they are out, or go without. Or just imagine having one. Or they can get louder with their needs in other ways. But if an alter wants a candy bar but doesn't get one, it doesn't really matter at the end of the day. Candy bars are not essential needs of safety or life.

[Rive1976]

Yeah, I understand all that. I guess I was asking how would I know? By their emotions? How do you know what's you (one part) versus another part? It's very hard for me to tell what are my emotions(as a part) or another parts emotions.

[Amyjay]

Oh! Sorry for misunderstanding.
All I can say is that I just "know" when it is an alter because I absolutely "know" it isn't me. I just "know" it is an alter and not me. I don't know how to explain it other than that. They are just not me. (Although of course I know that in theory that they are a part of me. It's just that my experience of them, their thoughts an feelings is as an "other", a "not-me".)

[Rive1976]

Ok, thanks

they could write it down.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by Starry_Night

they could write it down.

Yeah they could. I was more thinking about just emotions though. I have a hard time with knowing what are my emotions versus another parts.

[Breaking Dawn]

Excuse me if I'm intruding. I don't have DID (although I've dissociated many times throughout my life). I just wanted to ask you a question regarding the candy bar problem. Is it that you can't be in charge all the time because they can switch & buy the candy bar without you knowing? And then they can eat it without you knowing? If that can happen, that's really a problem. I would hate that.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

Excuse me if I'm intruding. I don't have DID (although I've dissociated many times throughout my life). I just wanted to ask you a question regarding the candy bar problem. Is it that you can't be in charge all the time because they can switch & buy the candy bar without you knowing? And then they can eat it without you knowing? If that can happen, that's really a problem. I would hate that.

Yeah, they could if my dissociative barriers were that high. Luckily they are not.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

Oh! Sorry for misunderstanding.
All I can say is that I just "know" when it is an alter because I absolutely "know" it isn't me. I just "know" it is an alter and not me. I don't know how to explain it other than that. They are just not me. (Although of course I know that in theory that they are a part of me. It's just that my experience of them, their thoughts an feelings is as an "other", a "not-me".)

Question. I'm not talking about this same thing now. I'm just curious about knowing in general. How do you know what is one alter from another if you were that way ever since you can remember and DID develops in childhood. For example: I have had these bad impulses since I was 8 years old. That is as far back as I remember. Just a few things from before then. I have always struggled with really wanting to do them and not at the same time. Literally fighting my body for control. I was told by a Psychologist and a layperson. That when you really want to do something but don't at the same time and you are battling for control that, that is an two alters with conflicting feelings. Because it is all I have ever known how do I know that's just not what I want to do and don't want to. I might have a desire to eat 3 bags of Cheetos but not want to get fat. That's just me having conflicting feelings about one thing. How do I know that's not how the other thing is when it's all I've ever known? Then on top of trying to figure that out I have my therapist saying that she believes my true self is xyz. How do I have a true self if I'm diagnosed DID?

[Amyjay]

The very first time I became aware of my alters was when a group of them showed themselves to me. Like, the lliterally "showed" themselves to me. Internally, they stepped into the light as it were and I could "see" them. I saw their individuality, they told me their names, and I realized I "knew" some of them. I recognized one as the one who was always getting me into trouble and another as a feeling and voice that I had sometimes been aware of. So in one sense I had been aware of them for a long time, but in another I was only just getting to see them for the first time. But once they showed themselves to me there was no question in my mind that they were themselves and not me. Even in retrospect I was aware of them as "not-me". I was always baffled by the "not-me" troublemaker and the "not-me" voice, I just didn't have the awareness to know that they were alters.
I don't think that is helpful to you in any way at all, that was just me sharing my experience of it with you.
Sorry?