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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: literally hell
Posts: 2,357
6 5,660 hugs
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#581
Not sure who but another part contacted my DID therapist to start therapy again. I read the text messages. He said I can start therapy if I agree to apply for disability. The reason I quit therapy months ago is because he got angry at me for not applying. He kept saying I have a disability. I'm so burnt out on therapists!
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Breaking Dawn, SprinkL3, Taylor27
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healing from trauma
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Alberta
Posts: 30,425
(SuperPoster!)
6 24.3k hugs
given |
#582
Feeling very tired and very anxious today. I know my therapist will call me tomorrow and I hope I can explain to her how i dissociated in the session and what led up to it happening. This is not the first time it has happened, it is the first time I am aware of it.
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Breaking Dawn, SprinkL3, stahrgeyzer
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 16,689
(SuperPoster!)
4 42.2k hugs
given |
#583
I dissociated my Saturday away. And I haven't been all the way here today. But it all seems to be better now. And thank you all for being here!
__________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * * |
SprinkL3, stahrgeyzer, Taylor27
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Account Suspended
Member Since Oct 2021
Location: DELETED
Posts: 2,752
(SuperPoster!)
2 10.9k hugs
given |
#584
My system is conflicted. Some of us want to go out and enjoy walking again. We need the movement, exercise, and weight loss! We would wear masks and gloves when going out, and maybe a beanie, too, so we'd be protected. We'd also wear contact lenses and sunglasses or just regular glasses, in hopes to hide our Asian features and avoid getting hated on. But many parts are still too afraid of going out alone. We have protector parts, but we don't want to get in trouble. We don't know how to use the pepper spray we bought from Target. It's also hidden somewhere. We can't find it. But we miss being outside. We haven't been outside for a long time. The rec rehab lady said she would walk with us, but we are waiting for boosters.
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Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer, Taylor27
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 16,689
(SuperPoster!)
4 42.2k hugs
given |
#585
It recently seems that some changes have been taking place, sometimes in the positive direction.
__________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * * |
SprinkL3, stahrgeyzer, Taylor27
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Account Suspended
Member Since Oct 2021
Location: DELETED
Posts: 2,752
(SuperPoster!)
2 10.9k hugs
given |
#586
I am tired. I have been tired for the past few days. Being co-conscious is exhausting.
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Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer, Taylor27
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: literally hell
Posts: 2,357
6 5,660 hugs
given |
#587
I feel so dissociated and depressed. Feels like I’m controlling my body remotely far away.
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Breaking Dawn, SprinkL3, Taylor27
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Account Suspended
Member Since Oct 2021
Location: DELETED
Posts: 2,752
(SuperPoster!)
2 10.9k hugs
given |
#588
Sometimes I want to go back and not know anything anymore - not be co-con (co-conscious) anymore, and just live a dissociated, multiple life. Life is really scary at the moment.
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Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer, Taylor27
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Junior Member
Member Since Jul 2021
Location: Illinois
Posts: 18
2 6 hugs
given |
#589
Hi. I have been thinking I might have DID for a while but my therapist said I have PTSD and that I dissociate. I think I am not aware of a lot of things and feelings and why I do some things but I wonder how therapists decide if it is DID or PTSD. Do they say PTSD if they don't think DID exists? When I tell him I feel like a child or kitten or anything else that I am worried about, he makes me think I am normal and okay. So maybe I am okay and just worrying?
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Breaking Dawn, SprinkL3, stahrgeyzer, Taylor27
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Breaking Dawn
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 16,689
(SuperPoster!)
4 42.2k hugs
given |
#590
Quote:
__________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * * |
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katmc1, SprinkL3, stahrgeyzer, Taylor27
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Junior Member
Member Since Jul 2021
Location: Illinois
Posts: 18
2 6 hugs
given |
#591
Thank you. I will. I was thinking of posting a few months ago but I wasn't sure if I belonged so I didn't know if I should.
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Breaking Dawn, SprinkL3, stahrgeyzer, Taylor27
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Breaking Dawn
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healing from trauma
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Alberta
Posts: 30,425
(SuperPoster!)
6 24.3k hugs
given |
#592
I am feeling more better. I got some really good news yesterday my therapist is not getting fired for now. She also called me and she told me I am making good progress even though it feels scary to dissociate. I feel more grounded then I have been in a very long time.
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Breaking Dawn, SprinkL3, stahrgeyzer
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healing from trauma
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Alberta
Posts: 30,425
(SuperPoster!)
6 24.3k hugs
given |
#593
Quote:
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Breaking Dawn, katmc1, SprinkL3, stahrgeyzer
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Junior Member
Member Since Jul 2021
Location: Illinois
Posts: 18
2 6 hugs
given |
#594
Quote:
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Breaking Dawn, SprinkL3, stahrgeyzer, Taylor27
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 16,689
(SuperPoster!)
4 42.2k hugs
given |
#595
I hope it's ok to say God bless all of you & thank you for being here? I feel like such a weirdo so much of the time.
__________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * * |
SprinkL3, stahrgeyzer
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katmc1, SprinkL3
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Account Suspended
Member Since Oct 2021
Location: DELETED
Posts: 2,752
(SuperPoster!)
2 10.9k hugs
given |
#596
Quote:
DID remains controversial. It's hard enough finding a good trauma specialist, but even harder to find one who assesses and treats DID. Not all mental health professionals use the same battery of tests or evaluations to diagnose. If you are feeling undermined or minimized by your T, or if your T is not really evaluating you the way you believe you should be evaluated, you can ask for another T or simply quit that T and find a new one in a different network that treats dissociation and trauma. If you call around to therapists or view their lists online, ask specifically if they treat and/or evaluate dissociative disorders. If they try to question your integrity as to why you're asking that, they are likely not the right therapists. The right kind of therapists to treat dissociative disorders will answer with a simple yes or no, the same way they would answer anyone who asks if they treat bipolar, depression, anxiety, eating disorders. Those disorders don't get the interrogation-like questioning of, "Why would you think you have dissociation?" Or "let's first see if you actually have that." Instead, with non-dissociative disorders, the answers are pretty straightforward. So, to find a good therapist who takes you and your dissociative symptoms seriously, regardless of what dissociative disorder you may or may not meet the diagnostic criteria for, just simply ask if the therapist treats dissociation, and then see how they answer. That's the most simplest way to test the waters without wasting tons of copay monies on initial visits that wind up going nowhere. I've spent thousands of dollars trying to find the right therapist. And even then, not everyone is a good fit. I've dealt with short-term therapists and long-ish-term therapists. I finally found a really good one - the one I currently have, who has been my therapists the longest (for over 2 years now). But for the 15 prior years, I've not had that good of luck. You came to the right place! I'm sorry you struggle with dissociation. |
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Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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Breaking Dawn, katmc1
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Account Suspended
Member Since Oct 2021
Location: DELETED
Posts: 2,752
(SuperPoster!)
2 10.9k hugs
given |
#597
Quote:
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Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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Account Suspended
Member Since Oct 2021
Location: DELETED
Posts: 2,752
(SuperPoster!)
2 10.9k hugs
given |
#598
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Breaking Dawn
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Breaking Dawn
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Junior Member
Member Since Jul 2021
Location: Illinois
Posts: 18
2 6 hugs
given |
#599
Quote:
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Breaking Dawn, SprinkL3
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Account Suspended
Member Since Oct 2021
Location: DELETED
Posts: 2,752
(SuperPoster!)
2 10.9k hugs
given |
#600
Quote:
I'm so sorry you are struggling with all of that, on top of OCD. I have OCD-like tendencies (not enough for the diagnosis), and my T (who used to be at the Vet Center before transferring to private practice; and who used to also consult for the FBI; and who is a veteran officer) has stated that it is also common for some veterans to experience both PTSD and OCD from trauma that brought the OCD about. She knows how to work with that, and she helped me to see that it's about control, and also to help me find ways to feel safe. She also knows that with dissociative disorders, on top of all the above, that it takes a long time to process many of those traumas and triggers spanning from childhood to military traumas and beyond. I merely moved and then asked the VA for a referral, and I was going to ask the Vet Center directly, but then they had already referred me to my T at the Vet Center. Sometimes the VA refers to the Vet Center, and sometimes they refer from within the VA Hospital (VAMC) system. For those with disorders beyond PTSD and dissociation, for instance, they might refer out to a specialist at the VA Hospital (such as veterans with psychosis, schizophrenia, bipolar, etc.). But for other disorders, the Vet Center is more than capable of working with them. The VAMC's (i.e., VA Hospital) has walk-in behavioral health units (though it might be different during a pandemic and surge in cases), so you can always request a different T or specialized T's for different things. Unlike civilian healthcare, the VA will allow you to see a specialist for insomnia (to learn short-term CBT-i, for example), as well as a smoking cessation therapist (to quit smoking), and other providers (like psychiatrists) to help with things beyond talk therapy for PTSD, coping skills groups, and more. Not all VA's will have a specialist for dissociation, but it's worth asking about. You can also request that the VA pay for community care for a disorder that you believe will best be treated by a dissociation specialist (though this is extremely hard to get in certain jurisdictions, because not all VA's will operate the same; I know this because I've tried out three different VA's - and they state themselves that not all VA's are the same). Take, for instance, vaccines for Covid-19; many VA's offer different vaccines, and many of them have different rules for dissemination than what the public health offers in terms of Covid-19 vaccines. It's weird; and, the numbers of those included in state counts of both Covid-19 vaccines, Covid-19 cases, and Covid-19 deaths do NOT include veterans who seek care at the VAMC; they primarily only include veterans if they seek care in the community or solely through civilian healthcare). So, I'm not counted in the vaccination counts for my state, LOL. I'm also not counted in many state statistics either, since the VA holds their own separate stats for our unique population. Anyway, I thought I'd mention this to you since you seek care at a Veterans Hospital. Hope some of these things help. Private message me if you have any questions or would like to chat. |
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katmc1
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