[SprinkL3]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

Since yesterday I have been suspecting that I have more voices, separate someones, than I thought I had.

[SprinkL3]

Originally Posted by buddylife

I'm a florid system my alters are shaming themselves to make sure we're important to one another. Sometime there is good gossip and uplifting the spirit is usually what we get out of one another . It usually goes like shameful shameful shameful. Then I'm rewarded with history or who is out further or other thing that discovery provides that makes it enjoyable and understandable on why it is important to know who you are.

[SprinkL3]

We had a good therapy session discussing the icky feelings we get - sometimes in dreams when our alters are in the dreams experiencing icky stuff. The T helped us to see that we're not icky, even though it's hard for us to feel not icky. The helper alters inside help the littles know that it's the abusers who were the icky ones who did bad things.

We are working more together. We discussed how some alters are working more with one another and how some are alike, but also how they differ.

We feel better talking about things in bits and pieces, and our T knows how to talk with us about stuff that is icky.

We also talked about other things like the political stuff that worries us, and how there was some webinar talking about how the extremist groups in our area were threatening some people (not us, but others in our state), which then triggered us and our system because we live in this state with those groups. But then we realized that those groups are not as big, and that is also what this webinar discussed, and how there are more people against the extremists. It's scary that these conversations are taking place locally, but we decided not to watch those webinars anymore because they just keep us freaked out.

We know people are fighting the extremists, and that's all we needed to know. We don't need to know details or sign up to go to some dangerous legislature; we just needed to know that there's a group of good people trying to fight against the extremist stuff going on.

But then all that affects our system, and so then we dissociate and different parts come out. Our T knows about those different parts. Our T listens to whomever comes out. She sometimes asks who is out, and other times she guesses. Sometimes she guesses correctly, sometimes we have to tell her who is out.

We've been working together more though - just communicating inside. We thought there was an alter with an alter, but it's only just one alter instead of a double-alter. The alter was able to work things out over the course of a year with our T, which helped the alter to feel more whole and not as split off into two parts of herself. But there are many other alters. The alters are all working together more with one another and also with me, though with me they take things more slowly in their approach.

It's hard sometimes to process what the alters say or feel - or even dream.

The icky dream really caught me off guard.

[SprinkL3]

Originally Posted by buddylife

I'm a florid system my alters are shaming themselves to make sure we're important to one another. Sometime there is good gossip and uplifting the spirit is usually what we get out of one another . It usually goes like shameful shameful shameful. Then I'm rewarded with history or who is out further or other thing that discovery provides that makes it enjoyable and understandable on why it is important to know who you are.

@buddylife - we hope that you find good support here.

We struggle with shame, too.

(((hugs)))

[SprinkL3]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

Since yesterday I have been suspecting that I have more voices, separate someones, than I thought I had.

@Breaking Dawn - we hope that you are okay, and that maybe the voices are there to help you in some way. We hope it isn't too scary.

(((safe hugs)))

Thank you for sharing and helping us to feel safe enough to share, too.

[Breaking Dawn]

I just woke up from a dream. It was so complicated but interesting. Two characters from a tv program that I watch were in my dream. But I didn't realize that until I was awake thinking back on the dream. I'm feeling very sad & stressed at the moment.

[Desoxyn]

Last time I posted here, I was having dissociative DP/DR panic attacks almost every day I think (In 2020). I was put on olanzepine 10mg in the summer of 2020 after having a 5 hour panic attack at the hospital and by December of 2020, I had my last panic attack.

Throughout 2021, I had an episode of DP/DR once in February and two (Both times while in a restaurant with my family) in September and October. I took clonazepam during all of those times.

I know you're all suffering, and I'm not sure what DID is like (I just got DP/DR from my bad psychedelic trip that happened 5 years ago) so I'm just posting this here to say that olanzepine has helped me greatly - Even though I still have intrusive thoughts, I take a breath and focus on it a few times a day, then it goes away. It won't be jinxed by telling anyone because I say so.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Last time I posted here, I was having dissociative DP/DR panic attacks almost every day I think (In 2020). I was put on olanzepine 10mg in the summer of 2020 after having a 5 hour panic attack at the hospital and by December of 2020, I had my last panic attack.

Throughout 2021, I had an episode of DP/DR once in February and two (Both times while in a restaurant with my family) in September and October. I took clonazepam during all of those times.

I know you're all suffering, and I'm not sure what DID is like (I just got DP/DR from my bad psychedelic trip that happened 5 years ago) so I'm just posting this here to say that olanzepine has helped me greatly - Even though I still have intrusive thoughts, I take a breath and focus on it a few times a day, then it goes away. It won't be jinxed by telling anyone because I say so.

Thank you, @Desoxyn, for visiting us & for your caring message & for the helpful information.

[Breaking Dawn]

I guess this thread is going kind of dormant lately. I still dissociate quite a lot.

[Breaking Dawn]

The voices & I have been at opposite ends & I'm trying to figure out some different strategies for myself. Basically I'm trying to be stronger so my emotions don't keep me from fulfilling my goals.

[Desoxyn]

This Common Anxiety Symptom Makes Me Feel Like Reality'''s Slipping

we just recently discovered daniel tiger's neighbourhood and the instructional songs are fun!

" think about what you're gonna do, and pick the clothes that are right for you"
good bit of advice..

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

we just recently discovered daniel tiger's neighbourhood and the instructional songs are fun!

" think about what you're gonna do, and pick the clothes that are right for you"
good bit of advice..

I love that show, too.

[Breaking Dawn]

This morning has been better & I did some work already that I've needed to do for a long time. I think I felt some encouragement from some of the voices. I think they were kind of praising me while I was in the process of accomplishing my goal. I have plans for today, mostly paperwork & going to the post office & a store. I'm crossing my fingers for myself.

[BlurryfaceSystem]

Hello Everyone! We’re new here, we’ve not yet been diagnosed but we think we have OSDD-1b. I just wanted to stop in and say hi!
-Kyra

[susannahsays]

I feel bad. Don't feel like getting into details of my DID. It is a diagnosis I still feel defensive about even after almost 20 years. Wow, just realized how long it's been. Yet still I am not well. Apparently.

I'm just so tired. I wish I was someone else. Maybe that's part of the problem.

Originally Posted by susannahsays

I feel bad. Don't feel like getting into details of my DID. It is a diagnosis I still feel defensive about even after almost 20 years. Wow, just realized how long it's been. Yet still I am not well. Apparently.

I'm just so tired. I wish I was someone else. Maybe that's part of the problem.

I have wished to be someone else, too (or in my case, something else)
what I really want is to become a cat, dog, or dolphin, and just live the life of an animal- it would be so much more carefree. just imagine being someone's pet dog, playing fetch, getting lots of strokes, going on walkies, having treats, I don't know about you.. but it's a darn sight better than being someone you're not happy with.

I'll never have the body of an animal, and it really depresses me. I've often even wondered if it has a name, a human thinking they belong better in an animal body.

one of my alters does actually identify as a dolphin, so their's that.

[Breaking Dawn]

I don't want to be an animal. I have briefly wished I was someone else. More often I wished I was invisible. I can relate to being too tired. And not getting things done leads me to feeling bad about myself.

slightly frustrated

yesterday I was hoping to post a story that I'd written about a baby getting ready for bed- but when it came down to posting it, I found that I don't actually have it

must have been deleted but don't remember deleting it
shame since it was the only thing I actually put thought in to in my entire life

I still don't have a dvd player, either

[Breaking Dawn]

I have also woke up to flnding things deleted. I guess I did it when I was dissociated.

I have been having quite a hard time lately. But I have better sections of time now & then. Yesterday I did pretty well most of the day, then the voices, or one of the main voices, changed their/his mood & it's been difficult.

[BlurryfaceSystem]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

I have wished to be someone else, too (or in my case, something else)
what I really want is to become a cat, dog, or dolphin, and just live the life of an animal- it would be so much more carefree. just imagine being someone's pet dog, playing fetch, getting lots of strokes, going on walkies, having treats, I don't know about you.. but it's a darn sight better than being someone you're not happy with.

I'll never have the body of an animal, and it really depresses me. I've often even wondered if it has a name, a human thinking they belong better in an animal body.

otherkin is the word you’re looking for, I think. Dogkin potentially

I have not so much as yawned in the last week

you'd think I'd be at least a little bit tired by now, because I'm not resting.

but nope

sleep's really messed up

[Breaking Dawn]

It's really been very hard.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

It's really been very hard.

hugs to you