[Rive1976]

No one has given me a definitive diagnosis. My therapist tries to tell me that having a diagnosis isn't important but it actually makes me feel like more of a freak of nature not knowing. She told me that I had DID despite knowing anything about it. (I also have that diagnosis from a specialist( I tried telling them from the very beginning that I do NOT dissociate. Now my therapist understands that and has taken back my diagnosis. She said she thinks the thoughts I hear that arent mine (chatter) are because I don't feel. Things are to traumatic for me to feel but it is IFS parts not DID parts. So I understand all that. Im not saying she's wrong. Why the Heck does my chatter always talk about being five? Or when I go to the grocery store the chatter talks like a child (my voice in my head but like I'm talking like a child and I dont think them) and the chatter says they want everything in the grocery store. Like I eat cake because I'm five. I want potato chips. I want everything in here. Etc. Why would this happen now at 44 years of age. Im so tired. I can't see anyone else nd keep here. I tried that and my insurance didn't pay for the specialist but the specialist isn't trustworthy anyway.

[Yaowen]

Dear Rive1976,

I am so sorry that the situation has not been improving. It must be so difficult and frustrating for you.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

[Taylor27]

Hugs

[Amyjay]

Even non dissociative people have parts of self that can feel like a five year old or a 16 year old or whatever. My t once specifically gave me an example of being in the grocery store and having a younger voice in her head saying things like "Oooh, I want those!!" and then her more adult self replying (in her head) "Well, no, that's not healthy, I'm not going to buy that" (with more back and forth going on). My T doesn't have and never has had a dissociative disorder. But she does have parts of self, like everyone does.
As to why you're only noticing this now... maybe you're only paying attention to your own inner experience now. I really only started paying attention to my body this year. Realized I've been living in pain for 20 years from a condition I never thought to mention to the dr before, because although I was in pain, I was acclimatized to it - I wasn't "listening", I wasn't paying attention. Maybe you're only noticing this now because you're in a space where you can pay attention to your self, to focus on your self.