My Alters Repeat Words of Abusers or Triggers

Sometimes my alters repeat the words of abusers or triggers when they get triggered. This typically happens internally, where I could hear my alters from the inside. But sometimes the threat is perceived as so real that they come out and cause me to dissociate/lose time.

I then have to do damage control later.

I don't always announce when someone else is out, nor do my alters announce who they are when they are out. That's how we rolled for our entire life, even though we are distinct people.

But when they get triggered, they don't know some of the coping skills the rest of us had learned in treatment. So we have to teach them.

While we are in the midst of helping all of our parts learn better ways to cope with things, we will make mistakes.

Sometimes an alter will come out and say something completely out of place - not really speaking to anyone necessarily, though sometimes speaking to someone directly (depending). But either way, they would say something that is almost what they themselves had experienced verbally from an abuser - or similarly. It's not that they always mean the words they say; they are just saying the words that they keep hearing inside their own minds when they are triggered, kind of like trying to communicate about what their abuser said, but without actually saying that that's what their abuser said or would say in this situation.

I wonder if anyone else experiences this with their alters.

I hope this makes sense.

I'm sorry that happens. Must be distressing.

@Yaowen - thank you. It is sometimes. It's embarrassing most times though. Some people get really mad at me, even though I have no idea what they are mad at until long after the fact.

Sometimes I feel like a monster, but I know my parts aren't monsters. They just sound like monsters at times. Inside though, they are scared, sad, and hurt. They do more hiding than they do yelling or repeating.

We understand you guys it’s still Mage I’m scared too I’m brand new I know I can’t talk to Zeldas parents they don’t believe in us they only want to talk to her we are hurt too but we have each other and you guys too it’s nice to meet you! I only know this because of Zeldas memory’s I have some of them You seem nice all of you

-Mage Woods gatekeeper

Thank you, Mage.

We are sorry Zelda's parents were mean. We hope you and Zelda and everyone else inside are doing okay today.