Me

I just woke up in this body not sure who I am with overwhelming desires to help all living beings who are suffering that it makes me want to cry.

For some reason I just felt the need to tell someone.

I'm a female person that's all I know about me. ...

Is your name Cayla?

That name sounds familiar.

Some quotes for everyone I came across

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. Dalai Lama

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
Mahatma Gandhi

Those are wonderful quotes. I forget what I believe sometimes. It helps to be reminded.

The inner people want us to post here. I'm back, feeling good and healed a lot. Feels like I've been on a vacation of sleep, sometimes drifting awake a little here and there but also it's no fun having your personality jerked around all the time. No memories of black voids. Darold is here co-fronting a lot and the female person who might be Clara or HS. Mostly Paul / Darold /...

I'm glad you're feeling better. Maybe you will help others feel better. My inner world is chaotic most of the time.

Nothing's felt right for 3 days. I'm tired of SI and sitting/pacing trying to figure out how to escape this nightmare of hell. I hate living here in a toxic house. Everything's wrong. It doesn't feel right like I'm not supposed to be here! I just want to take my plant Sally to my parents house in middle of night and fly to California to take a taxi to a nice forest.

Dear stahrgeyzer, I feel so sad after reading your post. You won't have anyone if you don't have Sally. And we don't know enough about the plant world. We humans can't exist without them, I do know that. What if she ends up feeling plant grief & like nobody understands her anymore?

@Breaking Dawn sometime yesterday that part of me left and everything went better. It's good that part rarely stays long enough to follow through with the forest ending.

I hope you're doing well.


Sally is fine. She gets a goodnight kiss on a special leaf of hers every night and she's told how special she is.

Just now read your answer, @stahrgeyzer. God bless you. And I'm sending some cosmic love to Sally.

For now, we are shattered. But one day we will all be one again! Angel Fire

I just feel like typing. About 5ish days ago Darold was in for a few days. He was the last person who actually knew who he was. Since then it's been like a revolving door, a roller coaster ride. For a few days someone was very suicidal, which makes the whole body ache for days afterwards. I feel okay but have no idea who I am. I'm recalling decades ago when this body actually had friends how they would call us a chameleon. We didn't think much of it back then but now everything makes sense.

How is one to be productive when their personality, desires, dislikes, mental state changes so often? Decades ago it seems like we didn't change as often. Some of us have so much passion to do things, but others have the most intense desire to only die. One day we may only desire to be a spiritual person like the Dalai Lama and feel like puking at the thought of science, but one minute later be the complete opposite. Some of us want to date. Some of us would rather die then talk to anyone. Some of us want to start a business and become wealthy. Some of us want to live in the forest meditating all day. Sometimes we just want to scream for help.

We don't have any therapist now, but our DID therapist kept getting upset at us because we refused to get disability. I guess that would trigger certain parts to come out who wanted just one thing, to become a successful business person.

Anyway I feel like typing a book but will stop. I just feel so confused like I'm a thousand people at once right now, a desire to scream at the top of my lungs, to go to the library, to make friends, to go to a Buddhist temple, to go to a mental hospital.

-- A thousand voices

Whoever you are, God bless you!

Life's been difficult lately. Overwhelming panic feelings. Memories of being in dark places for a long time. But feel okay now. I don't get to front much lately so wanted to come here to say hi.

Yesterday there was a plant person fronting. She changed our smart bulbs to green like a forest. There are memories of her having strong desires to be in tight spaces. I've always been the opposite, claustrophobic.

Then lately we have another alter (I think new) who wants to be a billionaire. He's good for us. Maybe he'll make a lot of money so we can buy a nice cabin in the forest. But he wants to live in a skyscraper in New York. I feel him getting close to take over the front so I'll post this now.

Take care, Paul/stahrgeyzer

Oh my goodness, a skyscraper. Just the thought of it, because I have acrophobia. I hope someday you can afford that forest cabin, at least as one of your residences. Nature & tranquility.

Is there a way for the admins to move this to the main DID section?

I haven't asked for anything like that. But I saw Doc John say to someone that we can private message any one of them about whatever we need. That was in the community feedback & technical support forum, I think.

Thanks admins & BD! Sorry to all for it being posted in the wrong area. BE

I find it funny and disturbing at the same time that our new alter, BE, speaks with a thick accent that I think is southern. I don't hear anyone in our life or in online videos speaking with a southern accent. So where did it come from? Like yesterday I was in the background somewhat near the front and BE is driving the car speaking to himself in a thick southern accent. It makes it easy to know who's fronting but it gives me chills!! I swear if he starts taking us to trump rallies I'm gonna lose it! Adult Darold

A few inner people encouraged me to come here. I have this overwhelming feeling that I'm a new alter. Female 10 to 12. There's this wonderful feeling of being at peace. Memories tell me that most before me are in constant pain.

All have bad and good times. If you're having a bad time then just know the good times are headed your way. If you're having a good time then spread the peace to others.

Who are you?? So much of what you say feels like me. Am I hallucinating?

I feel the same. Am I hallucinating? Can the brain create alters of people in real world? Who am I is a good question.

Oh my goodness! I feel so strange too much of the time. But I have these beautiful moments that can't be described. Do any of you ever feel that way?

Hi Breaking Dawn,
What is feeling strange to me is switching to other people. It's confusing. This forum is a place where people seem to have trouble so I feel bad talking about good experiences even though this is the first day for me. My life just feels so peaceful and that's all. Why am I like that and others aren't? I can just sit still and life feels like an opal of liquid love swims through my heart. I wish that feeling for everyone!

No Brittany or Billionaire for long time except Billionaire a few fronting for minute here and there. We have a lot of expensive equipment he bought just sitting on benches in our bedroom and nobody has the slightest interest in it. Hopefully we have enough rent money left till next year. Last night we took a sleeping pill but all we did the entire night was lay in bed wide awake and somehow found a way to completely let go of reality and all beliefs without a care in the world which resulted in crazy psychedelic like experiences which at times was scary.

I'm sorry but I really don't believe any of you are real. I just think I'm dreaming a nightmare in hell. We're afraid to death that dying will result in a reality that's even worse so we don't know what to do. All day we do nothing, just living in fear, hoping hoping hoping someone will save us. We thought Billionaire was going to save us. Then we thought Brittany was going to save us.