[crazy1]

Ive known forever that a small child existed deep inside that I had tried to show others but it was never recieved well. It usually caused others to run like hell. Over the years I have been able to hide this inner person but lately due to extensive cercumstances I have been unable to do this. Well anyway I finally showed this person to my therapist and admitted that at least two identities live within myself. Ahhhh im scared. Now it is real and that scares me i feel like crying all the time. The anxiety is killing me. I am so afraid of what i will find that it was my fault ect. Sometimes i want to drink but know i can't but the tension gets unbearable.

[nothemama8]

Welcome, please feel safe here , we do know where your coming from
Angie and all

[Kiya]

=( welcome.... good that you told someone, hope your t is understanding

[crazy1]

Thank you for acknowledging my post

[wanttoheal]

Hi Crazy,
That's great that you were able to open up with T, though I know that is hard to do as we were often programmed to keep secrets.

That's also great that you know your limits as far as drinking or not. It's hard to find other coping skills but it's great that you are working on that. I used to think if I drank it made me crazy. I found out though that what really goes on is that it causes a lot of switching (which probably looks crazy to others and sure feels crazy to me if I am present enough in between). Thankfully I needed control due to the out of control feelings in general that I did not turn to drinking. I did, however, turn to other non healthy methods of coping that I am trying to work on now.

Good job telling T. I hope your T is able to reassure you that you are not crazy. Dissociation is a coping skill and it worked when it was needed.

[kimmydawn]

Welcome!

How brave you are and what a great accomplishment for YOU! I hope that your allowing yourself to be vulnerable is well received and nurtured.

Please remember, showing T doesn't make you "different" or "more", you're the same person you always were. That's hard to remember because allowing or putting it out there kind of makes it feel more "real", doesn't it? Just remember that you're the same as you always were, and I hope that this is the beginning of wonderful for you.

Again, welcome and WAY TO GO.

KD

[crazy1]

It is funny that you say that I'm the same person. After being depressed all weekend I finally told myself that I have known this for a long time and that doesn't change who I am--It did make it more real and more scary but I am doing better with that.

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((((((((( c1 )))))))))))))))))))))))))

KD

[CedarS]

((((((((((c1))))))))))))

[wanttoheal]

How are things going crazy1?