[Jennifer1084]

I really have no idea what is up with me. I was all great and then all of a sudden, yesterdy, I am not. I no it's because there is major upheavel inside. Now I think I know why. I told my T I wasn't really ready to work with everyone. I just wanted to get more of a foundation built of myself. I just thought of that. I don't know my feelings are everywhere. I think I slept most of the day to get away from the chaos. I am just not ready. I don't think staying here at my parents house is the best for me though either. I think that is a big piece of what is going on. I was abused alot growing up by them, more neglected though, what I remember of it anyway and here I am staying with them again. I just got out of this situation last February because I was a mess, that's what started me with the assisted living in the first place and here I am again. Though it is temporary until I get my apartment, but who knows how long that is going to take. I am just a mess again and it happened instantaneously. I have been trying to shift my thoughts and everything and communicating with everyone and everything. I was feeling a tremendous amout of anger earlier, but it wasn't even coming from me, I almost went and got help because it got so bad. I am just at a loss at what to do. I can't go back to the assisted living because that is a wreck for me and yet here I am here where alot of nightmares and bad memmories keep hitting me, let alone the old bad feelings all over the place. I am exhausted. I don't know what to do at this point.

Jennifer

[valuable1]

Hi Jennifer 1084,
i don't have a lot of advise. I know for me I just have to remember to do what I can in the moment. Try not to worry about tomorrow, only what you can do right now. I wish the best for you. Keep writing. It sure helps me to get on here and hear from other people, and be able to express myself some place where others might understand.

[Zorah]

(((((Jennifer)))))

just keep talking, let it all spill out, that's the only way you can work it out

[Fuzzybear]

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((((Jennifer))))))))))) I'm sorry you are struggling right now. Do you have any friends that might allow you to spend a night here and there to break up the time spent at home with parents? Are you getting disability that you can use toward getting a place by yourself to live?

I just got done with a visit from parents here and it completely rocked my world. I am struggling to come back to the present even as we speak. I couldn't live with parents so I understand the stress you must be feeling right now.

I think writing is a great idea if you can do it. It helps for me to get things out of my brain. Sometimes I cling to my journal to stay alive.

Please do what you can to stay safe. And let us know how you are doing when you have time.
Take care.