Oh not again!! May trigger

I don't know I was doing pretty well and all lately, I mean I had a few rough times but I was making it through. But these last few days have got to me, and obviously more than just me, all of me. I don't know I was trying to help a friend out who was in a tough situation and said she could stay with me until she got plans set up. Well she ended up going back to her boyfriend the next day after we moved all of her stuff here. But I mean it was like last night I just freaked when she told me that, not because she told me that, but it just triggered other things inside. I couldn't quit crying for an hour and a half. I mean she's even a friend I really just started talking to her as a friend. I mean I worked with her at my job and all, but we got to talking and after awhile we just kind of became friends. But the thing is I was sobbing and I had to call a crisis line, not because I was suicidal, but because I couldn't calm down, I had locked myself in my room because my friend was coming to get some of the things she needed that night and got the rest today. So the last few days have been really overwhelming, especially for myself who is rarely even around people at all. But it was like she didn't come get her stuff right away, so I put it all outside and left. But then I decided to go to the library and they were closed, then next thing I know I have this guy at my apartment, which I know he is not a good person to have in my life, but I don't even remember stopping at his place. I had no intentions of seeing him again, cause it's always chaos. So my guess I switched, cause I don't remember much of anything. I remember saying stop once and then left again and when I returned again, he didn't but then I asked him to and he did then, But now I have this overwhelming guilt and shame. I don't know what to do. Please help?!

Jennifer

They key word seems to be "overwhelmed". All of this other gal's drama overwhelmed you. Intense emotion can cause switching, and that probably did happen. Nothing to be ashamed about. It happens to folks like us. It's over. You are calmer. And there is no "good" reason to torment yourself about it.

Focus on today, on Thursday. What can you do to make it a better day. I'd say you are off to a good start by coming here and posting.

Look at what you can learn form the experience. Maybe you need to avoid getting pulled into other's difficult situations? You have already re-defined your boundaries with this guy and that is a good and positive thing.

The reality is there are still things that can trigger you. That is true for most of us. You are not a bad person because of that! Let it go. Today is a new day.

Folks here understand and accept you just the way you are.

My wish for you is that you will choose not to beat yourself up over what happened. It is done.

take care Jennifer,
Judee

(((((((((((((((((Jennifer1084))))))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry you had a rough time. Maybe you can take some time now to do some soothing things for yourself. I agree with JudeeB. Today is a new day. Just keep going forward if you can.

Please keep us posted. Congratulations on being able to live on your own now too.