[notz]

A tremendously fearful time in therapy today. I struggled to stay there mentally. I was out of my body almost the entire time. I had to gently press my skin with my fingernails to bring me out of the trance several times. No pain, nothing injurious - just enough to wake up a synapse or two to bring me back into reality.

Such difficult topics to face. But I think I did well, all things considered. I certainly have come a long way in therapy. Good thing because I'd be dead a while back if it weren't for it.

Just thought I'd check in and put this out there. I'd appreciate some feedback especially about dissociating. It's still one of my "secrets" in my real life. (whatever real life is!)
Thanks.

notz

[multipixie9]

notz,

dissociating is how you survived terrible, fearful things when you were little. being in therapy is when you bring things up and deal with them and that is very fearful and so you are again doing what worked in childhood.

however, you are now an adult and the dissociation is not the helpful adult way to deal with stressful and hard things. going into therapy is a way to work through your past and find out how to handle it and the adult life in new ways that do not include dissociating when you are upset.

it sounds like you are where you should be, doing what is good for you and healthy. hang in there and come her for support and i am sure you will find it here.

leslie and her pixies

[wanttoheal]

(((((((((((((((((((Notz)))))))))))))))) I'm glad you're here. Hang in there. Things can get better.

[___Shadow___]

Hi, i want to say
I can't read what others have posted here but i hear ya notz

[___Shadow___]

Yippy I can read this.
K, but wow I'm glad that pinching yourself works. I only seem to get it to work once and while. Maybe it's my timing, I let thing get to far before I can stop it, I don't know but ya being with T is soooooo hard. My little is unable to take so people think I'm really strange but I can help it. I can sometimes squeek in a bit and then sometimes not. Words come out cracky and stagered, I'm sure I should just get up and leave but nope, can't get my body to do that either, Not in enough. I hope your next T visit isn't as much trouble