we gettin close

we wen to see owr T today. we gettin vere clos to the most bad, scary, awful, yukky, evil stuf what happen to us. an now we vere scard an we wanna frow owr commuter at tha wall.

why is the sexabus stuff the werst of all? why it mak us so scard we cant hardly stand to rememrs? if we rememr will we die? worried we mite die. angre, vere angre at the bad peepls. i jus cant bleev peepls wud do such bad to lil kids.we want to die but we cant do that or the bad peepl win.

is gona be 3 weks befor we see owr T again cos of holdays. is too long too long. how we stay saf? byby

leli pixie, rachel pixie, jane an leah pixies

i don't know why it seems that it is the worst of all the abuses that happen to us...and it seems like if we tell we are going to really get it, or worse...but i know one thing...that what happened is in the past, and we survived, and so that awful, scary stuff isn't so difficult to go through again...even though it seems that anyone who hears it would be so disgusted with us that they would throw us out the window right away...sometimes i get so scared about telling that i try to hide away, like a little church mouse, being very quiet and not letting anyone in to see how awful i am...and while it really feels it is happening all over again, it isn't, and it isn't going to kill us at all...even though we might want to die so we DON'T have to tell...our heart hurts with yours as you struggle to keep safe these next three weeks...i'm here, and maddie and Leah and Crys will be here too these next three weeks, so you can talk to us anytime you need to...we may not be able to do much more than listen, but we are good at that...safe hugs to all of you pixies...abbi

Safe hugs and kind thoughts to all of you
please keep safe
with respect and care
furry paws

fank u, abbi u is vere nis to offer to tak wif us during long time wif no T. we try an not bothr u. we just gotted scard cos we not use to such a long time wif owt owr T.

peepls keeps tellin us "is is the past, jus let it go". HOW???
we don kno wat a hman person does to forget the past. we thot we wer gona die when it happns they were soo scary an did stuff nis peeple don evr say owt lowd. my T ses God is helping me to get all better. in lots ways we IS LOTS BETTR!!! is jus this is the werstest cruelist bad. so scary.

one gud fing is we taked to owr dad yestday. it tund owt ju fine so i not scar of him nex tim we needs to tak. we go see him aft. chrismas time. he no care abowt holida, just wanna visit.

we jus wishs we nevr had to fink abowt or tak abowt sex again.EVER.

pixies;

(((((FURRY PAWS)))))

BIG HUGS!

Three weeks is a long time. I'm sorry We are here if you need someone to talk too.

We are sharing our hope with you. Ali and friends

((((((((((((((((((all the pixies))))))))))))))))))))) I know how hard it is being without t for a while. I am here if you want someone to sit or talk with. Know you are not alone. I am sorry that you are going through such hard stuff in t too. It makes it all the harder.

BB

((((((((((((((multipixie9)))))))))))) You are very cared for.

im stayin up xtra late ta come stay by ur side...an later, we cn go make snow angels (even tho this looks like rain, it ain't, it's snow) cuz we got almost a foot of it an its just waitin for us ta make angels...

deer nis peepls. fank u for bein frens wif us. we gotted sik. it wuz awful bad. we missd u wil we wuz gon bein sik. we don lik the way owr time gos awa lik that. alla suddn is a difren day an we don kno wer the tims went. do u kno wat we meen?

thank u's to ali & frens, bipolar bear an sannah an fuzzybear. u are all such nis peepls. do u wanna com an mak sno angels wif me an abbi?? jewels can we stil go pla in tha snow togever??? i lik sno we never get sno wer we liv. is too warm. only not toda. today is cold like 23 degree cold is veree cold here. brrr. lets all ware snow suits owtsid. i herd tha ar vere warm an keeps the sno owtsid of us. mabee we can mak snowmens an we can drink hot choklat. we hav fun an not think of nuthin bad atall. nis. veree veree nis.

we so glad we can has frens lik u peepls. u tak gud car of uselfs an stay safe an warm an ok. we lik u vere much.

leli an kiki an jane an rowdy an leah too.

{{{{{{{{{{{leslie, leah, and all the pixies}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

our heart is with you during such difficult times.

we do not understand why the sexual stuff is the hardest either, but we dounnerstands how hard it is.bead heart feels your pain, and wishes her could make it all go away.

also unnerstands how hard it is when these T's always go on vacation at the worst possible time!

bead will sit with you if you like, and remind you to try to breathe in all of the good, positive sunshine and peaceful thoughts that you can possibly find.

we are here for you always, and you can pm us anytime.

try to hang in there, and remember that you are cared for by so many! you are NOT alone

bead

thank you for sitting with me Bead. i know it seems wrong somehow that counselors must be gone at such high stress times in our lives, but the truth is that they need all the time off they have. i know my T has also gone through sexual abuse and other cruelties and she wades through all the nightmares of my past. so she needs the breaks to recuperate and refresh her soul for when she begins again to help me do what i need her to do.

i am grateful for your compassion. leslie

bead lady, we wans u to sit wif us an breev the fresh air. we had bad dreems las nite about abuse and children and being in strange places. we woke up kinda feeling icky frum dreems. so we lik to be wif owr frens online here. owr sarah dauter is comin over to help us cleen for holida. is gonna help.

bye bye beady lady!!!! hugs an hugs to u an u inside peepls

leli an kiki an jane an leah an rowdy an protektor

(((leslie, leli, kiki, jane, leah, rowdy & everyone who wants hugs!)))



thinking of you during this difficult time... memories are such a crock!

- twilight

leli an kiki an jane an rowdy and leah we want to play in the snow too. Can we have a snowball fight with you on our team? sisa and lisha and melinda and lish

leslie and the pixies,

We know how painful the memory revisited is. Bless each of you.

notz

We are kinda freaked out because we are having dreams about things we don't think we can even say on here. I guess my brain is sending out some stuff because i am finally getting close to dealing with it. I must have thought about that dream 50 times and I had much better stuff to think about!!! We don't want to think about sexual stuff from the past. I don't mean to be some kind of prude but I think if maybe I just say what it is it will go away, does that make sense or is that as goofy as I think it is?Never mind, I think I'd rather be repressed than talk about abuse dreams. Sorry I brought it up. Rats!!!

leah

Thanks Twilight, Ali and Notz. I definitely think we should go out in the middle of the night and have snowball fights and play in the snow and drink hot chocolate and all kinds of fun stuff for cold weather. Of course I may need to catch a plane to get where the snow is! I do like all the great use of imagination on this forum. It's the next best thing to the actual fun! Take care and be safe this week and I hope the days pass pleasantly and warmly for you all!

leslie and pixies

Hi (((((((((((((((((Leslie and Pixies))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))!!!!!!

I'm all triggery these days so have been avoiding everything but the psychotherapy board....but I popped in and saw this post and wanted to send you lots of love and healing and

This stuff is too hard....and I know the feeling of being scared I will die if I talk. But I have talked and I haven't died....I have even left my sessions sometimes being surprised that I was still alive!! It's a relief to talk and survive....and it makes us realize that we have more power than we think. Our abusers can't hurt us anymore. We already survived it, and when we talk and survive that, it's a big step toward healing.

Thinking of you

(((((((((((((((leslie, leah, kiki and ALL the pixies)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

sorry bead was not online much yesterday....bad day bad words.......

you were still in our heart of hearts tho and we truly hope that today is a much gooder day. we can walks this path together because there is strength in numbers..........
you (all of you) are strong or else you would not still be here.........we see how strong u really are and reminds you that this will get easier......they cant hurt you any more please please remember that!
bead is still sits with you, and throws out life rope for whenever you need it.we will not let go!
sending you so many peaceful, safe and warm thoughts!!!!!!!

bead

(((leslie, pixies)))

i'll send you pikshures of snow when we get back home from parents house tomorrow. maybe snow doggyes or our dog playing with snow!