not ok not not not

sum of us is not ok, sum us is ok. we want sumbode to notis us but we wana hide sum of us. owr thinkr is so so tird an werds go rown an rown in owr hed. we cant go to nobodee here. we hurts, we hungre but not food hugs. nobode we is nobode. we gots to be inbisbl but we sad to be ghosty.

wi, wi, wi it gots to be lik this. nobode bleev us.

i gots rusty baer an he luv me cos i luv rusty too. he vere sweet bear. he gots nis eys. i lik my cats. cats is niser than peepls sumtims only less they skrach us wen we play.

is not so fun to tak to conputer. dont want to go sleep no dreems, no no no no sleeps. run away we wans run away by owr selfs. we don wants to liv wif phil phooooey. popsikle man.

by by peepls so tired bad pixees

Hug gud. We lik hugs an wish we got them for reel. I so tired an sad an hurt an angry an vere jugbig and show kll

we sleepies an rited weerd stuf. We need nap don wana sleep wif his. Dum lesle sed she will sleep wif him an she tries to make it better an mor she tries less nis he is. That makes me sooooo mad an sad. She tryin an he not nis. He wont talk an tell him wat we trying to say

me rowdy, rachel, stormy very much stormy grrrrr. We wana be happe pixees an not rite bad angre emails bur life too any that we dot nuffing d. Too sleepy rite werds wrong sorry we hate life today. Hate phil for hurting me weget tto write herk

bye bye sannah fanks for u nis hugs. U fren. We gon now sorry for fussies, leslie an frustratd pixees. Need a mommy wanna cry

we sit wif u pixees til u feel bettr. we be ur frends

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((pixies))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry that you are feeling so unheard and misunderstood. Both those things are hard to feel. Could it be that someone outside your system can not really understand what you are going through? What they see is an angry Leslie. I know that it is one or all of you but with his perceptions it must be confusing to him. That does not make it "right" it just may expalin what he feels. I understand the lonliness and the emptiness that you may be feeling. But, rest assured you are someones and you are not invisible or ghosty. Sometimes letting the anger out in different ways helps me. Drawing whatever I am feeling; happy, sad, angry anything is ok. Writing a journal just for you or to share with your system and even t. And maybe going somewhere just for you; a zoo or countryside or watching a DVD just that all of you like. You seem to know each other maybe you can help work out some things amonst yourselves. Brainstorm. Think of things that are safe for you to do maybe when popsikle man is not around.

Know you are heard and understood here. That is a place to start. And with t. Please feel free to PM me anytime. With your joys, sadness and anger. It is all ok. Sometimes it just needs to come out and you may learn where it is coming from and how to deal with it. There are reasons you feel this way. It is ok.

Hopefully this helped a little bit. You are not ghosty you are real with real feelings. I know they can be scary but with help of t you can work through them. Very gentle but big hugs to all of you. You deserve them.

BB

You are not invisible to me.

i lik my cats. cats is niser than peepls sumtims only less they skrach us wen we play.

i agree, i sometimes think my dog, and dogs and all animals in general are nicer than people. they don't say bad things about us, they don't judge us, they love us for we are. animals teach us a lot.

sorry i don't have the pictures i promised you guys, forgot to take our camera with us to the parents' house and lost huge chunks of time too. have been writing a lot of weird stuff too.. donno what it means?

i'm sorry you guys are feeling so bad, sometimes i and some of us feel like that too, feel like giving up, feel like there's no light. but there is! we're here, we hear you and we care and want you to hang on. there are some people we have grown to care about (including you, pixies!!) and knowing they are out there somewhere, helps a little to keep going. you know the saying, that you can't always see stars but you know they're there? that's kinda how this is with online friends.

i know it's such a crock to talk to a computer. i wish i could sit with you all and we could play with plushies and color pictures and build castles out of building blocks. and no, phil wouldn't see and tell it's something we can't do.


twilight & the rest

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{allthepixies}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
we hear you........
bead here...........
bead sends all of you many many safe hugs and sits with you during these difficult times if you like....
keep rusty bear close.....he will help u feel safe......
beads has mr bear and bear..keeps us safe dont go nowhere without mr bear or bear.............also we has mergency bear in bf's truck......
we agrees with you..........aminals does not hurt us so bad as people do so they often much safer, easier and fun to love........boo ( bead service dog)
loves bead how her is now......accepts us and dont get mad at her........just
always love and accept us.........
hope your cats is same for you!!!!!!!!
bead sorry you is have such hard time right now...........
bead hopes you can at least find rest..............the liferope we is holding onto tight for all of you.......will not let go..........your not alone

beads

Hello Pixies,

I am so sorry for your

notz

(((((((((((((((((multipixie9))))))))))))) I'm so sorry you are struggling right now. I hope Phil will realize one day what goes on for you and will work on acceptance. For now, maybe you can do something self soothing to help you feel better? Please take gentle care.

deer nis frens, we forgotd we rite this email cos we no sleeps that nite and got all feelings big and bad inside and fussyness.

you so nis, fank u all for ur nis. we don feel inbisble wif u and not ghosty ether. u lik us an it help us a lot. u as much frens as we has an we lik u all.

WE GOTS GO SANTONIO, GONE TIL WENSDAY. WIL MISS U ALL. DONT WANTA GO WUZ LIVD THERE WEN SMALL, BAD HOWSE. OWR DAD IS 85 YEERS OLD AN HIS HOWSE BROKEN AN DIRTY EVN THO HE HAS MONEY TO PAY FOR CLEEN. WE SCARD AN MAD COS WE DON WANA GO THERE WITH PHIL. is ookie there.

we wana tell u we luv u all. is it ok to do that here. we dont espec u to luv us bak. but the way u is nis feels lik luv to me.

plees u tak care of uself wile we gon, we sen u hugs now. we gon tak rusty bear to santonio. we hid him frum phil. wen we think of u guys we say prayr an ask God to tak care of u. he is gud and wud not ever do bad stuff to u. ok? ok. bye bye

lesles littl pixies - leli, jane, kiki, an others

we love you too and will miss you terribly!


twilight

(((((((((((((((((ALL the pixies)))))))))))))))))))))))

beads DOES return you love leslie, leah, jane, kiki, lelie and all the rest.

bead always here
bead lissens

bead holds you all up in her prayers as you make this trip to a place you would rather not be.

please stay safe and be good to yourself as offen as you can.

we will miss you much

beads

((((((((((((((( all the pixies ))))))))))))))))

miss you when you aren't here, take care of you and be safe

I will be with all of you in spirit. take care and stay safe

notz
a long hug from me to you!

i hope that you will be safe an will come back ta us soon...we r prayin for u...we love u an will hold ur hand all the way there an back again...abbi an all the jewels

Thinking of you all...biggest hugz and be safe and hurry back

MC